LATEST UPDATE: Amy Winehouse Autopsy Reveals Little About Singer’s Death

Cracked-out Amy Winehouse is planning a big fireworks show for her husband Blaaaaake Fielder-Civil so they can watch them at the same time. They won’t be together for the big bangs; Blake will still be in the pokey, and Amy MAY be in rehab. Or not.

The big show is going to be on “Bonfire Day”- a favorite holiday of Amy’s. Not being British, Snarkista had to look up “Bonfire Day” and see what the hell it is. Here’s your history lesson for the day. Bonfire Day is in honor of the event in November 1605, when some Catholics led by Guy Fawkes tried to blow up Parliament and King James 1, when he was to open Parliament. They were pissed because the king passed a bunch of laws against Catholics that forced them to worship in secret. The event is remembered every November 5th, when the “Guys” are symbolically burned in bonfires. Those Brits aren’t very PC, are they! Guess the Catholics don’t celebrate this particular holiday.

Amy, however, LOVES Bonfire Day…it was the day she released her blockbuster “Back To Black” album. She’s probably thinking the explosions will blow the prison open and free her beloved Blakey. Amy will be waiting with something cooking on the bonfire, and it won’t be a hot dog! Such would be the thought process of the Crackie of Camden. Snarkista wonders how Amy’s gonna pull this off if she’s in rehab! Well, her previous “rehab” visits were long weekends where Amy was just sleeping it off. When she wakes up, she gets the hell outa there. Wino’s gonna do what Wino wants to do! If you’re playing with fire, Amy, you better watch the ‘hive. That shizz will melt faster than a crack rock, and look like John Travolta’s spray-on hair.

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