Britney Spears ‘3’ New Song is Sinfully Boring

Britney Spears released her new single “3” this week, the only new song planned for her upcoming greatest hits album, The Singles Collection. Unfortunately, the single is about as interesting as a wet towel and sounds more like a raunchy nursery song than a rocking new hit for the troubled pop icon.

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Honestly, it’s not that Britney Spears sounds all that bad. After all, you could probably make a frog croaking sound like Celine Dion at her prime in a recording studio with a gifted sound engineer. Although she does sound a bit like a barbie on helium suffering from a major wedgie. And the tune is a tiny bit catchy if you like that sort of inane, ‘I’m too drunk to care what the music sounds like’ vibe.

The lyrics, however, are just too much. Yeah, we’re so very thrilled that she makes pathetic orgasmic noises in between singing about what sounds like a rather sedate three-way sexcapade. But seriously, it’s time to hire a new lyricist Brit-Brit if anyone is ever going to take you seriously. I mean, come on, “Livin’ in sin is the new thing (yeah)“?

Oh, wait, this is Britney Spears we’re talking about. In that case, carry on… We’re sure it will probably be a hit anyway.

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Annaka Turner

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10 thoughts on “Britney Spears ‘3’ New Song is Sinfully Boring”

  1. seriously? this song is clearly amazing! i freaking loveeee it! and i am a huge britney fan, too. all of us love it so it dosent really matter what you think (:

  2. The moment you start getting paid for your witty social commentary. It’s a fun pop song, nothing more, nothing less. Britney sounds like she’s having fun, why in the hell can’t people leave it at that?

  3. No body has made you listen to so Britney’s big fans don’t your opinion for choosing their own celebrity

  4. U RETARD. BRITNEY SPEARS’ SONG 3 IS THE BEST OF HER ENTIRE CARREER. AND IT’S THE BEST OF 2009. BIGGEST HIT EVER. AND YOU CAN’T DO ANYTHIGN ABOUT THAT. AND EVERY SINGLE OFFICIAL CRITIC THAT HAS REVIWED THIS SONG SAID IT IS CATCHY AND HAS THE POTENTIAL TO BE A #1. THIS SONG IS #1 THIS VERY MOMENT ON ITUNES STORE.

    Right. now go die

  5. Well, I’m 37 & I think the song is fantastic. Definitely something I would listen to in the car or on a dance floor. My 14 year old daughter loves it too. Wait, there’s more! My 20 year old sister thinks it’s great as well. But what REALLY amazes me is how my 55 year old mother says, “Hey! I LOVE this song! Turn it up!” LOL!!!!!!! The ONLY person in my family that does not like it is my 90 year old grandfather. I wonder why this writer chose to slam this song when it’s so good? Are they a senior citizen too? Maybe they don’t like pop music or anything Britney? Maybe they only listen to metal & hate anything Britney? Maybe their idea of good music is grunge. Maybe no matter what Britney puts out there, this writer will hate it, even before they hear it. Maybe they are having a bad day & decided to take it out on Britney’s new single? Lord only knows why people say the things they do. Needless to say, the masses of people love it, it’s #1 on the US billboard charts & people say it’s a great dance hit. And yes, this is America & thankfully, majority rules 😉

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