Celebrity Retard

Oh my children, it’s hump day and Heidi Montag has a new song for us to celebrate the start of the downhill slide into Friday and freedom! It’s appropriate for today because of the “downhill slide” aspect of Wednesday- and of the song. As you won’t hear Heidi on the radio, you’ll have to settle for hearing it here. You may not make it all the way through.

Her producer, Red One is touted as a “famed producer and songwriter”. Snarkista couldn’t wrap her mind around the idea of a “famed producer” working with Montard, so she did some research. Red One’s big claim to fame is producing Shakira’s “Hips Don’t Lie” in 2006. Okay, that was a hit. Let’s see who he’s worked with more recently: New Kids On The Block’s latest (producer, songwriter AND backup singer), Brandy, and someone called Lady Gaga. Apparently Michael Jackson has asked him to “mastermind ” his next album, whenever that might be. Ohhhhhkay!

Snarkista isn’t convinced that Red One is quite the big deal he claims to me. He loves him some Heidi, though, and thinks she’s gonna be a superstar singer and all around celebrity idol! Heidi’s new song is called “Fashion”, and Red One says:

The song is all about fashion and all about her – shopping, clothes, her whole aura. She’s really taken it to the next level…. We are working on more [songs], and it’s crazy, shocking stuff that will surprise everybody. I’m writing and producing her whole album. We are going to do it big. She finally found someone she connected with — me. It’s all about the connection. When it doesn’t work with an artist, it doesn’t work. With her, it’s perfect. You can tell in the music that we connect.

Oh, it’s all about the fashion alright. The word “fashion” is in there approximately one zillion times. Let the world know what YOU think about Heidi’s latest offering in the comments, as the profound lyrics may truly stir your soul. Your opinion is vital, and must be heard if you want even more from Heidi! But PLEASE, whatever your do, remember “safety first”. Keep the duct tape ready for a quick wrap around your head if needed. Snarkista adores you all, and would simply DIE if a needless accident were to occur.

Listen to the song that Spencer Pratt says is “the greatest song of my life”.

2 thoughts on “Celebrity Retard”

  1. Oh man, that was a bad experience! No, not bad, it was abhorrent, abominable, appalling, awful, cruel, despicable, detestable, dreadful, excruciating, execrable, fearful, formidable, ghastly, grim, grisly, gruesome, harrowing, heinous, hideous, horrendous, horrid, horrific, loathsome, mean, nasty, obnoxious, repulsive, revolting, shocking, terrible, ugly, unbearable, ungodly, unpleasant, unspeakable, vile. I’m glad you warned us. I had my handy-dandy bottle of Purple with me to ease the brain pain.

Comments are closed.