Oh, FAB! Finally the showbook for Heidi Montag’s fall collection for her Heidiwood line has arrived! It’s called her “Club Collection”, club here meaning bars, not country clubs. Heidi couldn’t fake her way into a country club if her life depended upon it; it’s impossible to overcome the class and intelligence deficit up in that clueless Barbie. Heidi’s brain would start smoking and then she’d pull a Stepford wife meltdown.

All the skankfits have insufferable names that only Heidi and Spencer could have picked out like “Hoodiewood” for the hoodie outfit. Heidi apparently feels that dark, skinny pants are still hot, and all a girl needs to be a star! Sayeth Montard on the look called “Signature Required”:

“All you need is Heidi’s signature for your VIP entrance…in this black denim jacket and overdyed black skinnies.”

Heidi’s a VIP alright, a Vapid, Ignorant, Putz. Don’t wanna go anywhere that Heidi’s signature is considered currency. Snarkista’s declaring the whole mess Crappywood, and then alerting the thrift store.

photo credits Ten Gossip