US magazine already bought and published pictures of Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt’s fake, illegal romantic marriage in Mexico. Last night’s episode of “The Hills”, however, highlighted the true ickyness of the whole debacle.

Scuzzy Spencer flew Montard to Cabo San Lucas, got her drunk on tequila and rushed her to a church. The next morning she could sort of remember how drunk she was but couldn’t remember the ceremony at ALL. No wonder her mom is pissed! It was the marital equivalent of a date rape drugging.

Spencer has always tried to take Heidi away from “bad influences”, namely her mother, his sister, her ex-best friend, basically the entire world, because they all know the truth… Spencer is the douchiest person on earth. He’s the worst person she could possibly marry.

The episode showed the couple in Mexico, by themselves, (except for the camera crew and production team) so they could have their own wedding alone. “It’s our secret marriage,” Spencer told her (and everyone watching at home.)

The teaser for next week’s finale shows the idiots having to go to a U.S. courthouse to actually GET a marriage license, and face the anger of Heidi’s mother, whom Spencer further infuriates by calling her “mom.” It may be tempting to pity Heidi, but she’s willingly been under Spencer’s spell despite everyone in her universe telling her what a massive mistake he is. Fame, it seems, is more important than good sense. Snarkista gives the marriage a year, unless Spencer knocks Heidi up. If that happens, there won’t be a divorce until the tabloid checks are cashed!


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