Holly Madi$on Can’t Hook Hef

It’s beginning to dawn on Holly Madison, lead girlbunny in Hugh Hefner’s intimate foursome, that Hef is probably not going to buy the cow and marry her. Not that the milk is free, mind you, as I’m sure Mr. Bathrobe pays quite a bit for the upkeep of his stable. No, despite Holly’s yearnings to tie the knot, Hef’s just not the marrying kind. Or tactful about it.

Hef yammered on to the press at last week’s “Playmate of the Year” luncheon that:

“I love Holly very much and I think we’re going to be together the rest of my life, but marriage isn’t part of my puzzle. It’s not a personal thing; I just haven’t had much luck with marriages.”

Yeah. It’s not personal, Holly! At ALL! Maybe you should ditch the ancient fugger while you’re still under 30! It’s not like you couldn’t attract anyone else. Ah, but the mansion life. So tempting to hope that at least when Hef kicks it, he’ll leave you your bedroom and maid service! Your fellow “Girls Next Door” blondies Bridget Marquardt and Kendra Wilkinson seem to be less brainwashed, and have marriage and motherhood goals (sans Hef). Maybe they’ll take off and Hugh will change his mind! You’d have him all to yourself then, er- whenever the mansion isn’t partying 24-7. Sigh. Girl, he’s just not THAT into you.