Sometimes birdcage-liner mag In Touch is saying there’s trouble in paradise for Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer. The couple have been involved in “crisis talks” to save their relationship. Wait, Snarkista is a little confused. She thought they were doing the trial-marriage thing! Maybe this is part of the trial, ‘cuz Stalker Aniston isn’t gonna quit having panic attacks when John’s not holding her hand.
In fact, In Touch reports that Flypaper is concerned her new boyfriend’s interest in waning. Einsteins! A source tells the publication: “He doesn’t call and text as much as he used to. At first she was playing hard to get, and now it’s too easy for him.†Aniston couldn’t keep up the “hard to get” act for more than 48 hours. Player John’s flirtatious ways put a quick end to that shizz.
Another reason given for their relationship trouble is Jen’s desire to have children. The 39-year fears her biological clock is ticking. The source explains. “She doesn’t want to wait much longer. She’s made that known to John.†Along with what to wear today, what toothpaste to use, and his allowed maximum distance from Jen at all times.
John, however is a bit reluctant to settle down at the age of 29. The source adds: “John’s told me several times he never considered himself dad material. Nothing scares him as much as baby talk.†Baby talk scares 99.9 percent of ALL men! Aniston needs to read “The Rules”. She is breaking EVERY ONE OF THEM! Snarkista gives them till Halloween, unless John is stoned and forgets to pull the plug until Thanksgiving, thereby technically still sticking to the rules of men. No way Stalker’s getting a ring in her stocking at Christmas.
I hate to be the one who said “I told you so,” but I told you so. I did. Way way way way back, oh say 3 months ago. Has their relationship really lasted that long?
Fastest way to get rid of a “Tom” like Mayer? Tell him (or act like) you want to marry him. Jen’s got it all backwards, poor dear.