Jessica Simpson In Ontario: Worse Than A Train Wreck

Ouch. Jessica Simpson’s concert in Ontario Wednesday night is getting SLAMMED by the critics. Called “bizarre” and more like a “therapy session”, the show did not go over well at all. John Law of the Niagra Falls Review says:

“It might be unfair calling Jessica Simpson’s show at the Avalon Ballroom Wednesday a train wreck — at some point, a train knows where it’s going,”

Ha! Law said that Jessica’s ongoing banter with the audience was quite uncomfortable, especially when Jessica declared her farts smell like roses. Classy! Critics say she acts like she’s still living in a reality show. She obviously she hasn’t grown any more brain cells.

Jessica botched the revered Dusty Springfield’s name by calling her “Destiny”, and then proceeded to botch Dusty’s classic Son of A Preacher Man. Which happens to be one of Snarkista’s FAVE songs. Unconscionable! Jessica’s turned herself into Ellie Mae Clampett wardrobe-wise, but all the daisy-dukes in the world won’t hide the fact that she can’t carry a concert.

Jessica better clam up about Tony Romo too. She yammers on about him in concert, and she’s on the cover of People this week pulling an Aniston about their relationship. Bad move…a potential nail in the coffin. Time to re-read The Rules, Simpson! Snarkista assumes you CAN read. Guys may laugh at your farts, but they don’t wanna marry them. Blabbing about your relationship so publicly is ASKING for your man to turn and run. Hit the brakes, girl, or you’ll be singing “I’m So Lonesome I Could Cry” back in spinster-land.