Leave ‘Em Alone, Fools!

Okay y’all, what the eff was going on with all the star harassments last night? First Tim McGraw, and then Cher! The dynamic diva had an overzealous, drunk fan harassing her at Tootsies, a legendary Nashville nightclub early Wednesday morning.

According to Nashville police, a 36-year-old man named Calvin Hutton Houghland approached the 62 year old superstar at Tootsies Orchid Lounge. Club management asked him to leave the famed honky-tonk. Instead, Houghland had a spell of drinkin’ thinkin’, slithered into the VIP section, and grabbed Cher!

Tootsies is a Nashville institution, and is usually PACKED. It’s not big, but stars and regulars usually mingle with NO problems. This guy was likely a goofass tourist, as Nashvillians pride themselves on not bugging celebs. Bad form, you know. Houghland IS an old Nashville name, but Snarkista would be SHOCKED if this guy was part of THAT blue-blooded clan. Rest assured, she’ll look into it.

Bouncers came to Cher’s rescue and kicked the dumbass BACK out. Houghland called the cops and complained of assault! Oops! Fool failed a field sobriety test.

Cher declined to press charges, so the man could have walked home free. Instead, Mr. Crazy ASKED to be taken into custody! The police obliged. That’s the whiskey talkin’ now! Take one of the bazillion cabs that line up outside Tootsies! Cheapass apparently thought the cops would give him a ride home. They gave him a ride to the BIG house instead. His bail was set at $3,000. That could’ve bought a hellofa lot of brewskies, dude.