Lindsay’s Leggings Bringing Cameltoe Back

Which NOBODY wants to see- unless, perhaps, you’re Samantha Ronson. How hard is it to design freaking leggings? And, more importantly, why WOULD you? Snarkista hates leggings, even though she has fabulous legs that everything looks great on. Seriously, leggings aren’t flattering on anyone, and just look like busted ’80’s unless worn under a long top. Under a long top they are just stupidfug.

If you skip the long top, get ready for some full-on cameltoe at some point in the day. WAY too dangerous. Mischa Barton was out recently in some truly HEINOUS polyester-denim leggings (and, of course, cameltoe). Plumb God- AWFUL, trust me.
Brainiac-marketer Lindsay has named her line “6126”, because EVERYONE knows that’s Marilyn Monroe’s birthday, and Lindsay IS Marilyn reincarnated (according to Dina). It should have been named “666”, because the “line” will include:

“footless tights” made from “Supima cotton and Modal ribbed knits” along with other fabrics spruced up with zippers, foil prints, yarn dyes and sexy metallic and screen prints.
Cashmere leg warmers and something called an “ankle glove,” a modified warmer that covers the ankle, are also part of the line, which will start at $40 and go up to $140.

The only people who should be wearing cashmere leg warmers are ballet dancers, and the mysterious “ankle glove” sounds like… a leg warmer. I can only IMAGINE the horror of zippers on leggings, and metallic prints could blind the paparazzi! It’s hard out there for a pap- and eyesight is quite important for the job. Ribbed knits will make your legs look like an NFL football player’s. If Snarkista finds out you’ve paid $140 for a pair of tights, there will be holy hell to pay! Just say “oh HELL no”, and buy some real pants.