The family of Madonna’s latest boy-toy, Jesus Luz, says that Vadge has kidnapped their loved one! Jesus, who used to live with his family hasn’t talked to them in over 2 months. The last contact the family had with Jesus was a quick text he sent in December, telling his mom he wouldn’t be home for the holidays and wishing the family a Happy Christmas.The New York Post reported this week that:

“The hunk’s mortified mom, Cristiane Regina da Silva — who is 14 years younger than Madonna — believes the pop diva has kidnapped her son, snatching him away to a New York love nest and controlling his every move,”

OBVIOUSLY, Jesus is being held hostage. Vadge has headlocked him one too many times with her massive biceps, and he’s suffered a bit of brain damage. This is the ONLY logical explanation for his hotness hanging with Ms. Notness. When the gates open for Lourdes to go to school…run, Jesus, run and don’t look back…lest you turn into a pillar of stone. Vadge is that dangerous.

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