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Val Kilmer Might Want To Be Governor Of New Mexico


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Well, I guess he couldn’t be worse than Bill Richardson. Beta-Batman Val Kilmer is rumored to be considering a run for Governor of New Mexico in 2010! Val told the AP:

“I’m just looking for ways to be contributive. And if that ends up being where I can make a substantial contribution, then I’ll run.”

Val hasn’t decided what to do yet. He’s still trying to figure out what the hell his above statement means. Val may have been hanging with Michael Phelps!

“It’s really day to day, “he said over tea with the AP. With that kind of burning political fire in his belly, Val will definitely make a formidable candidate.

Val, 49, has called New Mexico home for more than two decades. He’s currently registered as a Democrat and said he cast a ballot for Barack Obama from Bulgaria, where he was filming. Val wouldn’t have a conventional campaign, natch. He says “what I do for a living is listen”, so he’s been getting out and about and has been listening to people.

Good to know Val still has his hearing. This news is definitely Al Franken’s fault! But you probably shouldn’t hold your breath, New Mexico.

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NKOTB Jonathan Knight Gets Outed


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Well, there was a lot Snarkista thought was a bit off about the New Kids On The Block’s comeback video featuring the old dudes fighting off all the beach babes. Props to the babes, however, for fab acting skills.

NKOTB Jonathan Knight, it seems, was REALLY acting! Yes- surprise, surprise, Johnny just got outed by The National Enquirer. He got popped with a Brazilian model, and not the Victoria’s Secret kind!

Kyle Wilker
is obviously feeling the global recession, so he sold his story and a couple of pictures to the tabs. Kyle told the Enquirer:

“We had a wonderful relationship. I was in love with him and I believe he was in love with me.”

Nothing says love like selling out to the Enquirer! Apparently, 80’s mall-tween turned FAIL Tiffany is responsible for this mess. Kyle said Jonathan realized he wanted dudes after dating her. Ouch! Might wanna put a headband on that, Tiff, they make GREAT tourniquets.

Obviously, Kyle is a scorned little twink, and Jonathan has moved on. No word if there will be a New Guy On The Cruise.

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Lil Wayne Breaks It Down For Katie Couric-Video


Ooh, Lil Wayne brought the street to the set when he sat down with that queen of gangsta culture…Katie Couric. Lil Wayne spent about 11 minutes with perky “Miss Katie”, and let her know what life was and is like for the reigning King Of Rap. Hint: Weezy is a bowling, music journalist who loves him some chronic.

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Beyonce Pisses Off Etta James


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Sasha Fierce has gone and riled up the legendary Etta James, by singing her legendary song- “At Last” for Barack Obama at his inauguration. Etta is not Beyonce’s biggest fan…or Obama’s. At a recent concert Etta threatened to whoop Ms. Fierce’s ass, and wondered what gave THAT diva the right to sing HER SONG at the ball. Quoth Etta:

You know, your President, the one with the big ears — he ain’t my President — had that woman singing for him at his Inauguration. She’s going to get her ass whooped… ‘How dare Beyoncè sing my song that I been singing forever. Now I’m going to sing it for y’all….”

Loud and clear, Miz Etta! Snarkista is DYING to see an Etta/Beyonce smackdown…hey, SNL? It would be SO much better than last week’s show. You go, Etta. Beyonce and Barack deserve each other.

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Diddy Skirts A Sting


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Sean P.Diddy Combs was scheduled to co-host a birthday party for DJ Clue at club M2 in New York Monday night with Kobe Bryant, after Kobe cleaned up in the Knicks/Lakers game where Kobe scored 61 points.

However, someone forgot to let the Didster know that the NYPD had an undercover gun crew that was searching guests as they came into the club! “Everyone wanted to make sure that the dozens of NBA stars in attendance would be safe”, according to the NY Post. More likely, everyone wanted to know that some athlete didn’t shoot himself in the leg, much less anyone else.

Diddy strolled around 1:45 a.m. with a six-man entourage. A witness said he “flipped out” when cops asked to search him and his friends.

“He went nuts, saying, ‘Why are you disrespecting me like this? Why are you doing this to me?’ During the commotion, one of his thugs slipped away, unsearched, back to the car.”

Diddy stormed off, and started texting DJ Clue wanting to get the scoop, and asking if he could go in the back entrance. No luck. The cops would have to search him and his friends there as well. Sooo… Diddy decided to skip the party. What’s up, P? Couldn’t ditch the heat you were packing anywhere? Have you pissed off so many people that you won’t go out without the Glock? Even with a carry permit, you can’t take that shizz into a club.

This isn’t Diddy’s first rodeo with hidden weapons and the cops. Back when he was dating Jennifer Lopez, a member of his entourage opened fire in a nightclub. A stolen pistol was found in one of Combs’ SUVs, but he was acquitted of gun-possession charges.

A rep for club M2 said “We always welcome the police to safeguard our patrons.”

Kobe had no problem with being patted down, and partied until 4 a.m. Smart wife Vanessa made sure that he was in the VIP area, where there were strict orders not to let any women in near him. Reportedly, Kobe was in SUCH a good mood that on his way out he left the waitresses a $2,000 tip.

Too bad you had to miss all the fun, Diddy.

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Cover Crimes: Gwyneth Paltrow Edition


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Elle Horreure! Times are tough everywhere- even at Disney, who obviously is conducting a stealth campaign using the epitome of the Disney demographic, Gwyneth Paltrow. For subtlety.

Gwinnie is demonstrating a look that the kind would dub “runway”, and the unkind would dub “run away”. But, “the massive ear/shoulders with the shorts are so daring, Snarkista. How can you fault? It’s artistic license, clearly.”

Clearly it involves a license…violation…straight from the Fashion Police. It’s one thing to swish rapidly down a runway in some designer’s crazed confection, and it’s another to capture it, freeze it, and make us look at it in the checkout line.

I know, Disney, Miley Cyrus will not behave. Or close the dressing-room door in boutiques. But Pepsi’s already trying the super-subtle-subliminal-motif thing with Obama’s logo, and that’s almost like recording satanic chants backwards on a Jonas Brothers CD.

Just step away from the pitchfest at the ad agency, and hopefully no one will get hurt. Gwyneth will never know you’re gone. Maybe Miley would put this top on her head for you? Ah, no. Nevermind.

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Idol Flashback: Early Simon Cowell


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It’s Tuesday night, and American Idol has reached the stage in the show where the real competition starts. Time to do the office pool! Simon, Randy, Paula and new girl Kara D will be culling the herd…no doubt with Simon in his V-necks- moobs highlighted.

Good to see Simon really has had a lifelong relationship with the V’s. This picture is so old that Simey is rocking out a Mork meets the Bee-Gees theme, saucily. It’s undeniable, the V’s are a classic for Europeans…not that it’s an excuse for hairy men to wear them. See ya tonight, Samson Simon.

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