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Beyonce Pisses Off Etta James


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Sasha Fierce has gone and riled up the legendary Etta James, by singing her legendary song- “At Last” for Barack Obama at his inauguration. Etta is not Beyonce’s biggest fan…or Obama’s. At a recent concert Etta threatened to whoop Ms. Fierce’s ass, and wondered what gave THAT diva the right to sing HER SONG at the ball. Quoth Etta:

You know, your President, the one with the big ears — he ain’t my President — had that woman singing for him at his Inauguration. She’s going to get her ass whooped… ‘How dare Beyoncè sing my song that I been singing forever. Now I’m going to sing it for y’all….”

Loud and clear, Miz Etta! Snarkista is DYING to see an Etta/Beyonce smackdown…hey, SNL? It would be SO much better than last week’s show. You go, Etta. Beyonce and Barack deserve each other.

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Diddy Skirts A Sting


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Sean P.Diddy Combs was scheduled to co-host a birthday party for DJ Clue at club M2 in New York Monday night with Kobe Bryant, after Kobe cleaned up in the Knicks/Lakers game where Kobe scored 61 points.

However, someone forgot to let the Didster know that the NYPD had an undercover gun crew that was searching guests as they came into the club! “Everyone wanted to make sure that the dozens of NBA stars in attendance would be safe”, according to the NY Post. More likely, everyone wanted to know that some athlete didn’t shoot himself in the leg, much less anyone else.

Diddy strolled around 1:45 a.m. with a six-man entourage. A witness said he “flipped out” when cops asked to search him and his friends.

“He went nuts, saying, ‘Why are you disrespecting me like this? Why are you doing this to me?’ During the commotion, one of his thugs slipped away, unsearched, back to the car.”

Diddy stormed off, and started texting DJ Clue wanting to get the scoop, and asking if he could go in the back entrance. No luck. The cops would have to search him and his friends there as well. Sooo… Diddy decided to skip the party. What’s up, P? Couldn’t ditch the heat you were packing anywhere? Have you pissed off so many people that you won’t go out without the Glock? Even with a carry permit, you can’t take that shizz into a club.

This isn’t Diddy’s first rodeo with hidden weapons and the cops. Back when he was dating Jennifer Lopez, a member of his entourage opened fire in a nightclub. A stolen pistol was found in one of Combs’ SUVs, but he was acquitted of gun-possession charges.

A rep for club M2 said “We always welcome the police to safeguard our patrons.”

Kobe had no problem with being patted down, and partied until 4 a.m. Smart wife Vanessa made sure that he was in the VIP area, where there were strict orders not to let any women in near him. Reportedly, Kobe was in SUCH a good mood that on his way out he left the waitresses a $2,000 tip.

Too bad you had to miss all the fun, Diddy.

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Cover Crimes: Gwyneth Paltrow Edition


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Elle Horreure! Times are tough everywhere- even at Disney, who obviously is conducting a stealth campaign using the epitome of the Disney demographic, Gwyneth Paltrow. For subtlety.

Gwinnie is demonstrating a look that the kind would dub “runway”, and the unkind would dub “run away”. But, “the massive ear/shoulders with the shorts are so daring, Snarkista. How can you fault? It’s artistic license, clearly.”

Clearly it involves a license…violation…straight from the Fashion Police. It’s one thing to swish rapidly down a runway in some designer’s crazed confection, and it’s another to capture it, freeze it, and make us look at it in the checkout line.

I know, Disney, Miley Cyrus will not behave. Or close the dressing-room door in boutiques. But Pepsi’s already trying the super-subtle-subliminal-motif thing with Obama’s logo, and that’s almost like recording satanic chants backwards on a Jonas Brothers CD.

Just step away from the pitchfest at the ad agency, and hopefully no one will get hurt. Gwyneth will never know you’re gone. Maybe Miley would put this top on her head for you? Ah, no. Nevermind.

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Idol Flashback: Early Simon Cowell


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It’s Tuesday night, and American Idol has reached the stage in the show where the real competition starts. Time to do the office pool! Simon, Randy, Paula and new girl Kara D will be culling the herd…no doubt with Simon in his V-necks- moobs highlighted.

Good to see Simon really has had a lifelong relationship with the V’s. This picture is so old that Simey is rocking out a Mork meets the Bee-Gees theme, saucily. It’s undeniable, the V’s are a classic for Europeans…not that it’s an excuse for hairy men to wear them. See ya tonight, Samson Simon.

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Miley Cyrus Pisses Off Asians


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Well, moms of the world aren’t the only ones irritated with Miley Cyrus...she’s managed to piss off the Asian community as well. In a trend that seems to be growing, Miley, who never met a camera she didn’t use, poses with her buds and they’re making the international sign of “this is what an Asian looks like.” Very UN-PC, Miles!

Miley’s stirred things up so much that the Asian advocacy group OCA, a group “dedicated to advancing the social, political and economic well-being of Asian Pacific Americans”. They sent a statement to TMZ expressing their level of outrage:

“The photograph of Miley Cyrus and other individuals slanting their eyes currently circulating the Internet is offensive to the Asian Pacific American community and sets a terrible example for her many young fans. This image falls within a long and unfortunate history of people mocking and denigrating individuals of Asian descent…

…Not only has Miley Cyrus and the other individuals in the photograph encouraged and legitimized the taunting and mocking of people of Asian descent, she has also insulted her many Asian Pacific American fans, said George Wu, executive director of OCA. The inclusion of an Asian Pacific American individual in the photo does not make it acceptable.

OCA hopes that Miley Cyrus will apologize to her fans and the APA community for this lapse in judgment and takes the opportunity to better understand why the gesture is offensive.”

Sigh. Another apology needed from Miley over stupid pictures. At least she has her clothes on in this one.

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Gary Collins Popped Driving Drunk…Again


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One-time TV host and “actor” Gary Collins was arrested on suspicion of drunken driving…in a MOTORHOME. He was driving said beast “erratically.” If there is somebody you don’t want to be near when they’re driving ANYTHING, it’s 70 year-old Gary. The geriatric gin-guzzler officially kicks off the “bad celeb mugshot” 2009 season. Smilin’ Gary looks to be quite the contender this year.

According to an arrest report, deputies in the coastal county of Santa Barbara pulled Collins over Saturday evening after noticing him driving a motor home erratically. The 70-year-old was arrested by the California Highway Patrol after failing a field sobriety test. He was later released on $25,000 bail.

The arrest comes roughly 13 months after Tom Gary Collins plead no contest to driving under the influence and served a four-day jail sentence in a suburb of LA. He was placed on two years of informal probation, and records show he was admonished about the dangers of drunken driving. Obviously, admonishing doesn’t go real far with Gary. Time to call Dr. Drew?

Records also indicate he was convicted of DUI in 2004 in Malibu. They did not indicate whether he has an attorney. Trust me, he has one…on retainer. No word on whether he still has his former Miss America wife, Mary Anne Mobley around, but if she’s still hanging in- let’s hope she hides ALL the keys this time. Gary’s approaching “George Jones On A Lawnmower Beer Run” status. (Google it. Yes, it’s true.)

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Christian Bale Is No Bruce Wayne


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Remember how suave and classy and fairly irresistible Bruce Wayne was in “The Dark Knight”? Remember that Christian Bale played Bruce… and right before the premiere, he was arrested for assaulting his wife and family? Surely that was just a bad day for Christian, right?

Wrong. Christian Bale is a gold-plated asshole, and now we have the audio to prove it. Bale was working on his upcoming flick “Terminator Salvation”, and got his panties in a twist at director of photography Shane Hurlbut for accidentally walking into his site-line in a shot. This is the film’s DIRECTOR OF PHOTOGRAPHY, and one who is no novice.

Bale goes off like a freaking case of plastic explosives, and launches an F-bomb-riddled tirade that will make your ears bleed. Bale’s been taking lessons from Rahmbo and Hot Rod Blagojevich. Needless to say: Incredibly NSFW. You have been warned.

Don’t tell Snarkista that Christian’s a genius actor and therefore is allowed to act crazier than The Joker. The big man threatened to walk the film if Shane made another mistake- so some studio suit wisely kept the audio from this hissy fit…for insurance. Literally.

If Bale HAD walked, at least the production would have proof to the films backers and insurers of his insufferable nature…something his wife and sister-in-law know all too well. Except he has them too scared to tell.

Christian’s just blown any cover of class he may have had in Hollywood, if he had any left. You, sir, are NO Bruce Wayne. No wonder you don’t have Robin to kick around anymore! What in heaven’s name would Alfred say?! Look into some Valerian, dude. With a side of yoga.

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