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Turn Loose Of The Bottle, Lily Allen



Trainwreck alert! Someone at the GQ awards, presented last night, thought it would be a good idea to have Elton John and Lily Allen as co-hosts. Risky! Miss Lily has had several instances of being HAMMERED in public recently, and Elton is not known for holding his tongue. Bottom line: Lily made a complete ASS of herself during the ceremonies.

Lily and Elton began arguing in front of a shocked crowd when Lily got drunk…throwing down copious amounts of champagne while she and Elton gave out awards. The UK Daily Mail says Lily was already soused when she arrived at London’s Royal Opera House for the event. Quoth the Daily Mail:

The 23-year-old, decked out in an extravagant Dolce and Gabbana ballgown and Chopard jewellery, soon began slurring, swearing and ad-libbing. And when she introduced Carol Vorderman to the stage with a verbal tirade, saying ‘F***’ no fewer than five times in the same sentence, her co-host decided enough was enough. When Miss Allen came to announce ‘…and now the most important part of the night’, Elton chipped in ‘What? Are you going to have another drink?’ She fired back: ‘F*** off Elton. I am 40 years younger than you and have my whole life ahead of me!’ The shocked audience fell silent. A clearly rattled Elton replied ‘I could still snort you under the table’. To which she replied: ‘F*** off. I don’t know what you are talking about.’

Lily then proceeded to proclaim that she would f**** Tony Bennett, and spilled the beans about her brother’s previously unannounced engagement. Classy! Lily continued to chug the champagne, and ended up slumping down at the back of the stage. As usual, her bodyguard had to help her into her car after the show.

This type of public disaster is fast becoming Lily’s calling card. Not only does she get sloshed constantly, she often does it under the glare of the stage lights. Hopefully, event planners will leave Lily OFF the hostess list in the future. Sure, it makes for an unforgettable show, but it’s doubtful the guests want to risk becoming Lily’s next f-bomb victims! Lily seems to be in a race with Amy Winehouse for the most public meltdowns. That’s a STUPID award to go for.

photo credit: UK Daily Mail

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Shorting Sarah Palin?



Snarkista hasn’t ALWAYS been your eyes and ears on all things in pop culture… years ago, she spent her time making people fabulously rich managing their investment portfolios. Stocks, bonds, options, mutual funds, futures…you get the picture. One can make money in any type of market, IF one is on the right side. If you think your investment of choice is going up…you buy- or go LONG. If you think your investment of choice is going down, you sell- or go SHORT. There are a gazillion ways to do this, and as this isn’t an investment site, Snarkista will end the lesson there.

Dublin-based Intrade is a place for betting enthusiasts to turn a small profit on everything from the latest auction of a painter’s works to Britney Spears’ chances of landing in rehab. Contracts on a possible future event are bought and sold by users of the site, like a stock on the New York Stock Exchange.

One of the newest contracts is on Sarah Palin withdrawing from the Republican Party ticket. Yes, you can roll the dice on Sarah just like you can on Exxon! Right now, a contract representing the odds of Palin dropping out (or being dumped) is trading at about a 15% probability.

This is pretty astounding, considering a veep hasn’t been dumped off of a presidential ticket since George McGovern announced and later withdrew Thomas Eagleton as his running-mate in 1972. McGovern and Sargent Shriver went on to win a whopping 17 electoral votes. In other words, DISASTER.

Still, people make money on disasters every day! Just ask the papz! Intrade just gives the average Joe more ways than before. So, will Sarah Palin stay…or go? Her big speech at the RNC is tonight. Place your bets ladies and gentlemen!

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Jennifer Aniston’s Tailor-Made Cameo On 30 Rock: A Stalker


Ahhh, You just can’t make this stuff up! Jennifer Aniston’s been in the press lately, as she landed a cameo on NBC’s fab 30 Rock. Her role was revealed today, and it couldn’t be more perfect. The Stalker’s gonna play a stalker! More specifically, a “free-spirited, ‘Fatal Attraction’ like stalker.” Guess all of that John Mayer shizz was research, huh!

Aniston will play Claire Harper, Liz Lemon’s (Tina Fey) former roommate who shows up and latches on to Jack Donaghy (Alec Baldwin). Tina Fey’s WAY excited, and says The Stalker has “mad skills”. Hell, YEAH she does! Just ask the exes!!

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Contest Giveaway: NBC “The Office” DVD Board Game


“The Office” returns in its fifth season Thursday, September 25th at 9pm on NBC.

To celebrate Dunder Mifflin’s continued success NBC has sent over a very awesome board game for me to give away. I’ve also got a stack of very cool Heroes stuff including “9th Wonders” comic books and trading cards that I’ll giveaway for runner-up prizes. Lots of cool NBC show prizes to win.

NBC “The Office” DVD Board Game – Giveaway Details
1. Subscribe to Snark Food’s daily email newsletter. Click here to subscribe. (note: you will be required to activate the email subscription) If you’re already subscribed you just have to send in the email to enter.

2. Send me an e-mail at contests@snarkfood.com with your name and mailing address. Please include “The Office” in the subject of your email.

I’ll draw winners for the game on Saturday, September 13, 2008 and if selected you’ll be notified by email. I will check the winner’s email address against the newsletter subscriptions, and those who don’t have an active subscription will be disqualified. You are not obligated to remain a subscriber and can unsubscribe after the contest is over. Enter now!

Restrictions: Must be a U.S. resident and 18 years or older. One entry per person & per email address (one person can’t enter through multiple email addresses, nor can multiple people enter through one email address).

Visit the NBC Store for more details the game itself.

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Levi Johnston Is Pretty Effin’ Hot


Since VP nominee Sarah Palin’s future son-in-law Levi Johnston has now been thrust into the limelight, AND since his Myspace has been scrubbed squeaky clean (except for the “I don’t want kids”, pronouncement and the stupid profile pic), Snarkista wanted to point out that Levi is pretty damn hot. So hot some are calling him “sex on skates”! Levi’s on his way to the Republican National Convention right now…and it will be all the papz can DO to restrain themselves once he gets there. Meaning they probably won’t.

He’s a bit of a hellraiser, a hockey stud, a self-described redneck, and has a criminal record from poaching salmon. Beats a DUI! Oh, and “dont f*** ” with him. No effin’ here, Levi! You’re the best looking scandal-maker around, and you beat the HELL out of John Edwards and Rielle Hunter. Happy shotgun!

Pictures of Levi at the RNC for Sarah Palin’s Speech:

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Miley Cyrus’ Bro Trace: One Of These Things Is Not Like The Others


If you haven’t seen him already, Snarkista presents Miley Cyrus’ brother Trace Cyrus…who is rapidly losing tat space on his body. Emo alert! That gi-normous, bling-stealing eagle on his chest must have hurt like holy hell! It’s a smart eagle, however, ‘cuz he has brass knuckles in his talons along with the bling.

Shaving has to be a bitch for Trace, as Snarkista counts at least 5 piercings in his mustache area. THIS is who Lindsay Lohan needs to hook up with, as he is obviously a big fan of leggings!

Trace’s Myspace highlights his band Metrostation ( Ghettotech?) as well as his new, optimistically-named clothing line From Backstage To Bedrooms. Trace does kinda stick out from the rest of the Cyrus family, but Billy Ray can take comfort in the fact that Trace does wear a Confederate soldier hat. Hey, at least it’s not a Hannah Montana wig! The South’s gonna rise again!

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Sarah Palin’s Daughter Bristol Is Pregnant


The McCain-Palin campaign has announced that Bristol Palin, Republican VP nominee Sarah Palin’s oldest daughter, is pregnant. Bristol Palin, age 17, will marry the father of her baby shortly. The internet has been on fire with rumors about Sarah, Bristol and pregnancies, calling it “Babygate”.

A spokesperson for McCain says that he knew about Bristol’s pregnancy, and did not consider it to be a problem for the campaign. For the past several days, The Daily Kos and many other websites have been spreading rumors that Sarah Palin was NOT the mother of Trig Palin, the infant son with Down’s Syndrome, rather that Bristol was. There were also rumors of a boyfriend of Bristol’s, a boy named Chris Ray, who before the news hit professed his love for Bristol on his Myspace. NOW, apparently her baby-daddy is Levi Johnston. US magazine says his Myspace (since taken down) reveals “He doesn’t want kids”. The beauty of Google is the cache, however, and here’s Levi’s Myspace. (NOT his pic at the top!) Apparently, Levi is in Snarkista’s extended network! WTF! It also seems Levi has scrubbed out most of his friends, but still has the “not for me” quote about kids. Genius. This trainwreck just gets worse by the minute.

Snarkista abstained from posting any rumors, as she felt any facts that were relevant would eventually come out. McCain’s aide says:

“Senator McCain knew this and felt in no way did it disqualify her from being vice president. Families have difficulties sometimes and lucky for her she has a supportive family. Bristol Palin, a senior in high school, is about 5 months along, in her second trimester, according to the aide. The aide said they decided to reveal this information now because of rampant Internet rumors that Sarah Palin’s four month old baby, who has Down’s Syndrome, was actually Bristol’s. In the course of correcting that, we needed to get the truth out,”

The official statement from Sarah and Todd Palin says:

“We have been blessed with five wonderful children who we love with all our heart and mean everything to us. Our beautiful daughter Bristol came to us with news that as parents we knew would make her grow up faster than we had ever planned. We’re proud of Bristol’s decision to have her baby and even prouder to become grandparents. As Bristol faces the responsibilities of adulthood, she knows she has our unconditional love and support. Bristol and the young man she will marry are going to realize very quickly the difficulties of raising a child, which is why they will have the love and support of our entire family. We ask the media to respect our daughter and Levi’s privacy as has always been the tradition of children of candidates.”

Snarkista honestly feels like Bristol should not be a target for anyone, no matter which side of the aisle they sit, politically speaking. Bristol is 17 years old. Unfortunately, she has felt the heat of the speculation, and has been outed by the press.

Barack Obama released a statement that the issue is “off limits”, and if he finds anyone in his campaign helped spread the smear attempts, they will be fired. That should shut up some of the paranoid, scorched-earth asshats at the Kos.

Snarkista hopes that people can now be civil about this issue, as she has read UNTOLD crass, nasty posts about the questions this weekend. Sarah Palin is in the public office limelight, and should sink or swim on her OWN merits. John McCain looks like he didn’t do his vetting homework. Nonetheless, leave her daughter out of the fight.

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