Ah, you KNEW Papa Joe Simpson wasn’t gonna let Carrie Underwood get away with saying that Tony Romo still calls her! HELL to the NO! TMZ’s reporting that despite what Underpants told Allure magazine earlier this week, Tony’s lost her number…he says he DOESN’T call. Seems Carrie just can’t let the catfight go, not that Jessica Simpson didn’t egg her on with that “Real Girls Eat Meat” shirt. (If vegan-Carrie wasn’t in the picture, that would just seem porny. I digress.)
Carrie told Allure that Tony calls, but she doesn’t always answer. Er, guess that’s actually NEVER answers! Oops! Here’s a little secret: Snarkista had the fun of observing Carrie and Tony for an evening when they WERE dating. Let’s just say that Tony’s a very nice guy, and Underpants is a royal wedgie. Also, Carrie’s from Oklahoma and Snarkista’s a native Texan. Bish, plz.
Snarkista was all set to blame Tom Cruise for this unfortunate getup Katie Holmes foisted on us at the Tropic Thunder premiere. It has since come to light that Katie HERSELF designed this fuggery, and even has plans for more! Is Posh-envy behind this new inclination to design? In all fairness, Katie may have taken the navy duct tape Tommy-Girl uses to keep her from running away, recycled it, and made her own statement about bondage. Screw wearing your jeans, Tom!
The CIA has just released the names of a number of famous people who led double-lives as…SPIES! During World War 2, cooking legend Julia Child secretly joined Supreme Court Justice Arthur Goldberg and Chicago White Sox catcher Moe Berg to help take down the Nazis!
Fox News reports that they served in an international spy ring called the OSS- an early version of the CIA created in World War II. Today, all of the names and previously classified files are being released, and identify nearly 24,000 spies who formed the beginnings of what is now the CIA.
The spy network included Arthur Schlesinger Jr., historian and special assistant to President Kennedy; Sterling Hayden, whose work included a role in “The Godfather”; and Thomas Braden, whose book “Eight Is Enough” inspired the 1970s television series.
Other famous people identified in the files include John Hemingway, son of author Ernest Hemingway; Quentin and Kermit Roosevelt, sons of President Theodore Roosevelt, and Miles Copeland, father of Stewart Copeland, drummer for the band The Police. Don’t Stand So Close To Me or I’ll Turn Your Ass In!!
The OSS members were sworn to secrecy, and were told not to talk to ANYONE about the moonlighting. Julia probably snuck some cyanide into a nice rosemary chicken for a gulag commander. Delightful!
The Rad Girls Give Jackass A Kick In The Nuts…Videos! Yidio
Was President Bush Hammered At The Olympics? Wonkette
Tyra’s Tranny Top Model: US
Jonas Brothers‘ Fans Spank The Washington Post Idolator
Olympic Weightlifting Gone WAY Wrong: DListed
P. Diddy…Olympic Stud? Industry Finest
The Perfect Gift For That Picky Claymate On Your List: Gallery Of The Absurd
Esteemed media purveyor In Touch magazine has an “exclusive” with a 28 year old woman who says she cheated with 19 year old Casey Aldridge, Jamie-Lynn Spears’ baby daddy. While Jamie-Lynn was fat preggers. They have some pretty skanky pics in the mag that Jamie-Lynn is probably beating the shizz out of Casey with right now. Don’t wake the baybah!
Rumors have been around for a long time that Casey couldn’t keep his pants zipped. Guess In Touch came up with the right number on the paycheck!!
Jason Alexander, Britney’s “mini-marriage” groom has chimed in and says that yes, Casey is a big fat cheater. And…
â€œKelli and Casey have been a couple on and off for a few years, they were a really tight couple, but I think it was hard for Kelli, having Jamie Lynn in the picture.
The cradle robber, Kelli Dawson, says she and Casey have been hooking up for 12 months! And still are!! They stopped having sex, though, ‘cuz of the baby and all. Kelli apparently had a whiff of remorse about keeping that part up. Check out her pic- she looks about 38, not 28! Somebody needs to check the crazy-juice levels in the Kentwood water. Great job, Casey! Your gravy-train may have just derailed!
This is hilarious. Ugly Betty star America Ferrera is out reluctantly promoting the latest “Sisterhood Of The Traveling Pants”, or as Snarkista likes to call it: “Slacks 2″. Sadly for her, she has to do it with Blake Lively. America’s obviously NOT a Gossip Girl fan. She SO wants to cut Blake!
Two California “researchers” and two dudes in Northern Georgia named Matthew Whitton and Rick Dyer say they’ve got a dead Bigfoot on ice, and are gonna hold a press conference on Friday to reveal all. First of all, Snarkista is a little freaked ‘cuz Northern Georgia is not THAT far away from Nashville! Not that Bigfoot would be into music, but she’s just saying!
These guys are serious because they’ve formed a Bigfoot LLC., which means they have to file tax returns! The guys say they have DNA and a lot of other data. And, presumably the body in the freezer they have pictured here. The one they’ve named RickMat. (Rick + Matthew= Bigfoot). Their press conference is reportedly scheduled for Friday, August 15th at 12 noon P.T.
Their website, Searchingforbigfoot.com says the following about the freaky beast:
* It is male.
* It has reddish hair and blackish-grey eyes.
* It has two arms and two legs, and five fingers on each hand and five toes on each foot.
* The feet are flat and similar to human feet.
* The creature is seven feet seven inches tall.
* It weighs over five hundred pounds.
* The creature looks like it is part human and part ape-like.
* Its footprint is sixteen and three-quarters inches long and five and three-quarters inches wide at the heel.
* From the palm of the hand to the tip of the middle finger, its hands are eleven and three-quarters inches long and six and one-quarter inches wide.
* The creatures walk upright. (Several of them were sighted on the same day that the body was found.)
* The teeth are more human-like than ape-like.
* DNA tests are currently being done and the current DNA and photo evidence will be presented at the press conference on Friday, August 15th.
Have they considered that this may just be a relative of Christina Aguilera’s husband Jordan? ‘Cuz Snarkista just took Snarkista Jr. to college even CLOSER to Northern Georgia. Like she didn’t have ENOUGH to worry about. Damn you, Bigfoot!