UPDATE-UPDATE: Definitely sic Sarah on them, John. It is all bullshizz. UPDATE: Screw suing the National Enquirer, John. Just unleash Sarah Barracuda on their asses! She’ll tear ‘em a new one with a smile on her face. What’s the difference between a pit bull and a hockey mom? Lipstick.
The National Enquirer hit the web just hours before Republican VP nominee Sarah Palin‘s hotly anticipated speech tonight with some salacious statements. Supposedly, the print issue of the rag has more dirt on Palin. The Enquirer’s teaser says:
â€œThe National Enquirerâ€™s coverage of a vicious war within Sarah Palinâ€™s extended family includes several newsworthy revelations, including the resulting incredible charge of an affair plus details of family strife when the Governorâ€™s daughter revealed her pregnancy. Following our John Edwardsâ€™ exclusives, our political reporting has obviously proven to be more detail-oriented than the McCain campaignâ€™s vetting process. Despite the McCain campâ€™s attempts to control press coverage they find unfavorable, The Enquirer will continue to pursue news on both sides of the political spectrum.â€
The tabloid seems to be going full force into political expose, after being emboldened by the final fall of John Edwards. McCain is livid, and after four other magazines hit the stands today with Palin on the cover, he’s had enough. McCain has now threatened to sue the National Enquirer.
The campaign had this to say:
â€œThe smearing of the Palin family must end. The allegations contained on the cover of the National Enquirer insinuating that Gov. Palin had an extramarital affair are categorically false. It is a vicious lie,â€ said McCain senior adviser Steve Schmidt. â€œThe efforts of the media and tabloids to destroy this fine and accomplished public servant are a disgrace. The American people will reject it.â€
The whole thing is a freakin’ feeding frenzy, and unless the Enquirer has some ironclad evidence, they’re gonna burn through any credibility they earned by outing John Edwards in his extramarital affair. The Palin family has been through a trial by fire this week, and Snarkista thinks that Ms. Tougher In Alaska is NOT gonna forget who was throwing chum at the sharks. Maybe give it a rest for a few days? Before some fool prints that Palin’s a guy? Geez.
Trainwreck alert! Someone at the GQ awards, presented last night, thought it would be a good idea to have Elton John and Lily Allen as co-hosts. Risky! Miss Lily has had several instances of being HAMMERED in public recently, and Elton is not known for holding his tongue. Bottom line: Lily made a complete ASS of herself during the ceremonies.
Lily and Elton began arguing in front of a shocked crowd when Lily got drunk…throwing down copious amounts of champagne while she and Elton gave out awards. The UK Daily Mail says Lily was already soused when she arrived at London’s Royal Opera House for the event. Quoth the Daily Mail:
The 23-year-old, decked out in an extravagant Dolce and Gabbana ballgown and Chopard jewellery, soon began slurring, swearing and ad-libbing. And when she introduced Carol Vorderman to the stage with a verbal tirade, saying ‘F***’ no fewer than five times in the same sentence, her co-host decided enough was enough. When Miss Allen came to announce ‘…and now the most important part of the night’, Elton chipped in ‘What? Are you going to have another drink?’ She fired back: ‘F*** off Elton. I am 40 years younger than you and have my whole life ahead of me!’ The shocked audience fell silent. A clearly rattled Elton replied ‘I could still snort you under the table’. To which she replied: ‘F*** off. I don’t know what you are talking about.’
Lily then proceeded to proclaim that she would f**** Tony Bennett, and spilled the beans about her brother’s previously unannounced engagement. Classy! Lily continued to chug the champagne, and ended up slumping down at the back of the stage. As usual, her bodyguard had to help her into her car after the show.
This type of public disaster is fast becoming Lily’s calling card. Not only does she get sloshed constantly, she often does it under the glare of the stage lights. Hopefully, event planners will leave Lily OFF the hostess list in the future. Sure, it makes for an unforgettable show, but it’s doubtful the guests want to risk becoming Lily’s next f-bomb victims! Lily seems to be in a race with Amy Winehouse for the most public meltdowns. That’s a STUPID award to go for.
photo credit: UK Daily Mail
Snarkista hasn’t ALWAYS been your eyes and ears on all things in pop culture… years ago, she spent her time making people fabulously rich managing their investment portfolios. Stocks, bonds, options, mutual funds, futures…you get the picture. One can make money in any type of market, IF one is on the right side. If you think your investment of choice is going up…you buy- or go LONG. If you think your investment of choice is going down, you sell- or go SHORT. There are a gazillion ways to do this, and as this isn’t an investment site, Snarkista will end the lesson there.
Dublin-based Intrade is a place for betting enthusiasts to turn a small profit on everything from the latest auction of a painter’s works to Britney Spears’ chances of landing in rehab. Contracts on a possible future event are bought and sold by users of the site, like a stock on the New York Stock Exchange.
One of the newest contracts is on Sarah Palin withdrawing from the Republican Party ticket. Yes, you can roll the dice on Sarah just like you can on Exxon! Right now, a contract representing the odds of Palin dropping out (or being dumped) is trading at about a 15% probability.
This is pretty astounding, considering a veep hasn’t been dumped off of a presidential ticket since George McGovern announced and later withdrew Thomas Eagleton as his running-mate in 1972. McGovern and Sargent Shriver went on to win a whopping 17 electoral votes. In other words, DISASTER.
Still, people make money on disasters every day! Just ask the papz! Intrade just gives the average Joe more ways than before. So, will Sarah Palin stay…or go? Her big speech at the RNC is tonight. Place your bets ladies and gentlemen!
Ahhh, You just can’t make this stuff up! Jennifer Aniston’s been in the press lately, as she landed a cameo on NBC’s fab 30 Rock. Her role was revealed today, and it couldn’t be more perfect. The Stalker’s gonna play a stalker! More specifically, a â€œfree-spirited, â€˜Fatal Attractionâ€™ like stalker.â€ Guess all of that John Mayer shizz was research, huh!
Aniston will play Claire Harper, Liz Lemonâ€™s (Tina Fey) former roommate who shows up and latches on to Jack Donaghy (Alec Baldwin). Tina Fey’s WAY excited, and says The Stalker has “mad skills”. Hell, YEAH she does! Just ask the exes!!
“The Office” returns in its fifth season Thursday, September 25th at 9pm on NBC.
To celebrate Dunder Mifflin’s continued success NBC has sent over a very awesome board game for me to give away. I’ve also got a stack of very cool Heroes stuff including “9th Wonders” comic books and trading cards that I’ll giveaway for runner-up prizes. Lots of cool NBC show prizes to win.
NBC “The Office” DVD Board Game – Giveaway Details
1. Subscribe to Snark Food’s daily email newsletter. Click here to subscribe. (note: you will be required to activate the email subscription) If youâ€™re already subscribed you just have to send in the email to enter.
2. Send me an e-mail at firstname.lastname@example.org with your name and mailing address. Please include “The Office” in the subject of your email.
I’ll draw winners for the game on Saturday, September 13, 2008 and if selected you’ll be notified by email. I will check the winnerâ€™s email address against the newsletter subscriptions, and those who donâ€™t have an active subscription will be disqualified. You are not obligated to remain a subscriber and can unsubscribe after the contest is over. Enter now!
Restrictions: Must be a U.S. resident and 18 years or older. One entry per person & per email address (one person canâ€™t enter through multiple email addresses, nor can multiple people enter through one email address).
Visit the NBC Store for more details the game itself.
Since VP nominee Sarah Palin’s future son-in-law Levi Johnston has now been thrust into the limelight, AND since his Myspace has been scrubbed squeaky clean (except for the “I don’t want kids”, pronouncement and the stupid profile pic), Snarkista wanted to point out that Levi is pretty damn hot. So hot some are calling him “sex on skates”! Levi’s on his way to the Republican National Convention right now…and it will be all the papz can DO to restrain themselves once he gets there. Meaning they probably won’t.
He’s a bit of a hellraiser, a hockey stud, a self-described redneck, and has a criminal record from poaching salmon. Beats a DUI! Oh, and “dont f*** ” with him. No effin’ here, Levi! You’re the best looking scandal-maker around, and you beat the HELL out of John Edwards and Rielle Hunter. Happy shotgun!
Pictures of Levi at the RNC for Sarah Palin’s Speech: