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Don’t Show This To Katy Perry’s Mom

Snarkista doesn’t think it would go over so well. Katy Perry is QUITE a good sport, however, and is fighting the war against breast cancer. With her breasts.

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Amy Winehouse Not Going To Rehab; Still Rolls Her Own

Here’s Amy Winehouse leaving her London home this morning. As you can see, Amy can STILL stop shaking long enough to roll herself some Maui Wowie. Is there no END to her talent? However, the recent rumors that the crackie would be going to rehab in Bury St. Edmonds, near her beloved hubby Blaaake, are wrong. Y’all didn’t think Wino would go to rehab while conscious did ya?

Her publicist has come out and says that alas, she will not be attending. Poor guy, you KNOW he was praying for a break from chasing Amy through traffic. With a hint of disappointment that his client won’t be getting the help that she needs, he told the press, “Unfortunately the residents of Bury won’t be enjoying Amy’s company.” Snarkista thinks the “residents of Bury” are throwing a party right now.

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Da Brat Is Going Up The River

Female rapper Da Brat (Shawntae Harris) is headed to the Big House. She was sentenced today to 3 years in the tank, due to an assault conviction from a fight on Halloween. This is why she’s wearing a CLOWN SUIT in her mugshot.

Da Brat set sail with Captain Morgan, and bashed Atlanta Falcon cheerleader and waitress Shayla Stevens in the head with a rum bottle. Both were attending a party at Jermaine Dupri’s Studio 72. Things apparently got heated between the two, and Da Brat acted A Brat. Shayla suffered “permanant disfigurement and mental distress as a result of the attack, greatly affecting her career as a cheerleader, club model and actress”.

Da Brat has probably greatly affected her career as a rapper as well, for the better! Her street-cred resume just got longer. Those girls in prison better step off if they see the clown suit pop out. In addition to the three years in prison, Da Brat was sentenced to 7 years probation and 200 hours of community service. Clowns are EVIL sumbitches.

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Britney Spears’ Photoshop Diet

Hmmm. OK Magazine’s big spread on Britney Spears and her new hot bod may have been a teensy bit exaggerated. Britney yammers on about her 1200 calorie a day diet in the article. Snarkista thinks Britney’s been on the Photoshop diet, and the pic on in the middle seems to support her thesis. The middle pic was taken last night, and Brit’s showing quite a bit of junk in the trunk. (Click to enlarge.) Don’t know when Britney shot the OK pics, but either she had a little help from the “magic eraser”, or she immediately went back on the cheeto diet she started during the shoot! The pic on the right don’t lie!!

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Dancing With The Stars Season 7 Cast Leaked

UPDATE: Lance Bass WON’T be dancin’ with a dude. Thank the Lord. He’s gonna be paired with the awesome Lacey Schwimmer from So You Think You Can Dance! The official cast of “Dancing With the Stars” season 7 isn’t due to be announced until Monday, but the reported list has been leaked out. says the hit ballroom reality series will have celebrities from former NSYNC member Lance Bass to Hollywood socialite Kim Kardashian. No word on whether Lance will dance with a dude, or if Kim will reduce her ass for better aerodynamics and safety on the dance floor. Video below!

Lance and Kim will be reportedly joined by comedian Jeff Ross and “model” and former Bruce Willis squeeze Brooke Burke. “All My Children” star Susan Lucci, TV star Ted McGinley, primetime Emmy Awards-winner Cloris Leachman and “Hannah Montana” series’ Cody Linley are also on the list. Snarkista thought spicy, 82 year old Cloris didn’t make the cut, but apparently she did. She’s gonna make last season’s Priscilla Presley look like a teenager.

Sugar Ray singer Mark McGrath, Grammy Award recipient Toni Braxton, Olympic medalist Maurice Greene, celebrity chef Rocco DiSpirito, retired football player Warren Sapp and beach volleyball player Misty May-Treanor round out the cast. Misty May is by far the contestant in the best shape, and she’s coming off of some big Olympic PR. She doesn’t have an OUNCE of fat on her, and she has some fabulous moves. She’ll serve up some serious competition.

On the whole, it looks like this cast may skew the demographics of the show even older than last year. The seventh season of “Dancing With the Stars” begins in in September. The official announcement of the cast will be Monday, August 25 on Good Morning America. Here’s Kim Kardashian doing a DIFFERENT kind of dance with the Pussycat Dolls the other night. That ass is gonna hurt somebody.

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Angelina Jolie Tells Brad Pitt “Don’t Bother Coming Back”

Angelina Jolie told Brad Pitt “not to bother” returning to their rented Chateau Miraval in Provence, France, after he left to spend the night up the coast at a place owned by U2′s Bono. BAD MOVE BRO! Especially after you had that little chit-chat comforting Jennifer (Stalker) Aniston after John Mayer took off. Angie’s hormones are on turboboost and you’re off kickin’ it at Bono’s crib.

In Touch magazine’s latest issue has an insider revealing the shocking news that Angelina’s nerves are shattered, and “she has been screaming at Brad over the tiniest things.” According to sources, she is exhausted. Her house is a mess, toys and clothes are scattered everywhere.

“Angie is tired all the time. Knox wakes up, and (she) will spend an hour feeding and then changing him, and then Viv wakes up as Knox is going to sleep. Then, by the time Angelina has fed and changed Viv, she has about 10 minutes to sleep before it all starts over again,” another insider alleges.

Angelina gave birth to the twins on July 12. They also have 3 other children. 5 kids, all under 7 years old, two of them infants. Looks like Saint Angelina has at least been temporarily cured of wanting to adopt the world. Nanny!

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Britney Spears’ Real Singing Voice…Yikes!!!!!

This video is reportedly the feed from Britney Spears‘ OWN mike during a Las Vegas performance. It was published by GIGWISE and Ebaumsworld, and if it’s for real, and it SOUNDS like it is…HOLY CRAP. Britney’s not just bad, she’s AWFUL!!! She should stick to lip-synching! Get the duct tape!!

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