LATEST UPDATE: Amy Winehouse Autopsy Reveals Little About Singerâ€™s Death
Cracked-out Amy Winehouse is planning a big fireworks show for her husband Blaaaaake Fielder-Civil so they can watch them at the same time. They won’t be together for the big bangs; Blake will still be in the pokey, and Amy MAY be in rehab. Or not.
The big show is going to be on “Bonfire Day”- a favorite holiday of Amy’s. Not being British, Snarkista had to look up “Bonfire Day” and see what the hell it is. Here’s your history lesson for the day. Bonfire Day is in honor of the event in November 1605, when some Catholics led by Guy Fawkes tried to blow up Parliament and King James 1, when he was to open Parliament. They were pissed because the king passed a bunch of laws against Catholics that forced them to worship in secret. The event is remembered every November 5th, when the “Guys” are symbolically burned in bonfires. Those Brits aren’t very PC, are they! Guess the Catholics don’t celebrate this particular holiday.
Amy, however, LOVES Bonfire Day…it was the day she released her blockbuster “Back To Black” album. She’s probably thinking the explosions will blow the prison open and free her beloved Blakey. Amy will be waiting with something cooking on the bonfire, and it won’t be a hot dog! Such would be the thought process of the Crackie of Camden. Snarkista wonders how Amy’s gonna pull this off if she’s in rehab! Well, her previous “rehab” visits were long weekends where Amy was just sleeping it off. When she wakes up, she gets the hell outa there. Wino’s gonna do what Wino wants to do! If you’re playing with fire, Amy, you better watch the ‘hive. That shizz will melt faster than a crack rock, and look like John Travolta’s spray-on hair.
>> Latest: Dad Thinks Amy Winehouse New Boobs Are Great
This is no real shocker to anyone who’s been keeping an eye on Jennifer Garner’s ever-expanding waistline, but not until now has Jennifer affirmed the fact that she’s pregnant with baby number 2!
At an event celebrating the 10th anniversary of Baby Einstein products in L.A. Wednesday, a USA Today reporter asked the actress, 36, about her upcoming projects.
Garner then pointed to her baby bump and said with a smile, â€œThis.â€ She wouldnâ€™t reveal her due date. Rumors have her at about 5 months along. “We’re so excited, obviously,” she told Access Hollywood. She also joked about her swollen belly. “Oh, I’m not pregnant. I just had a lot of carbs for breakfast. It’s just…what do they call it- a breakfast pouch?”
Jennifer and husband Ben Affleck, mom and dad to adorable 2 year old daughter Violet, just bought a $16 million house in L.A.’s tony Brentwood neighborhood as they get ready for the new baby. Official congratulations to the happy family!
Now HERE’s a story you can sink your teeth into! Unlike the Montauk monster, Chupbacabra or Bigfoot the hoaxer…Goblin Shark is for realz! Check out his freaky alien jaw moves! Goblin Shark’s favorite treat is squid, and one was recently spotted off the California coast. Usually Gobby hangs out in Australia and Japan, but he must have been needin’ himself some Cali. Gobby doesn’t fool with low quality, grainy footage or rubber Halloween suits. That shizz is WAY beneath him!
Sweet!!!! Grace Jones is BACK. After a 20 year absence, her new album “Hurricane” is set to drop in October, and Miz Grace is in FINE form. Snarkista cannot believe Grace is SIXTY years old! She’s just launched her Myspace page. RAWR!! Here’s her latest video for “Corporate Cannibal”. Grace Jones proves once again that she marches to the beat of her OWN drummer, and quite a creative drummer it is. Bow down and pay your respects!
John Edwards needs to get a clue and realize the National Enquirer isn’t gonna stop outing his ass until he fesses up completely. They’ve released new pictures of mistress Rielle Hunter and Edward’s “love child”.
John made a semi-confession to Nightline after The Enquirer splashed his infidelity all over the front page AGAIN, and the mainstream media FINALLY picked up the story. Since then, Edwards has been front-page gold for the mag, and this week’s print edition is no different. John told Nightline that he confessed his affair to his cancer-fighting wife Elizabeth in 2006. Reportedly, John neglected to mention that ELIZABETH was the one who brought it up, after a tip from a campaign staffer! The staffer walked in on John and Rielle and caught them in an “intimate moment”. Elizabeth, understandably, was FURIOUS.
While the Enquirer was dogging him, they discovered Edwards’ elaborate moves to cover up the affair, and, they say, the baby. Tons of money was involved, including a $50,000 private plane flight to get Rielle and the babe out of California when the shizz hit the fan. Bob McGovern, friend to both, arranged all of the meetings at the Beverly Hilton. (You’d think Edwards would be smart enough to at least mix up the meeting places…especially since the Enquirer was hot on his tail. Just another example of his incredible narcissism run wild.)
In the newest edition of The Enquirer, reporters tracked Rielle to St. Croix where they discovered Rielle and the baby staying in a luxurious oceanfront home owned by controversial trial lawyer Lee Rohn, ANOTHER close friend of Edwards. When confronted by an Enquirer reporter on August 15, Rohn snapped a terse â€œNo comment!â€ when questioned about Hunter. Former Virgin Island Senator Anne Golden confirmed to the mag that â€œwithin 24 hours of their arrival that they were here and staying with Lee Rohn.â€ Guess she’s NOT on the Edwards payroll!
After the Enquirer found Rielle hiding out with Rohn, she was reportedly moved to a motel on the island before returning to Santa Barbara on August 17. A reporter for the mag saw Rielle back in her California home, which is being paid for by Edwardsâ€™ former finance chairman Fred Baron. She has an off-duty police officer guarding her house.
Quoth the Enquirer:
None of this is paid for by Rielle. The money continues to come from Edwardsâ€™s network of loyal supporters, with no explanation from Edwards why he is having his friends continue to support Rielle now that the affair has been made public. Edwards is not only aware of the hush money payoffs but orchestrated it with his team of former campaign advisors and now The ENQUIRER has discovered that a team of six more lawyers have been involved in the coverup and are funneling payments to Hunter, who has no money and no means of support.
The ENQUIRER has also learned that Hunter’s own lawyer advised her to allow Edwards to take a paternity test but she refused out of misguided belief that Edwards will marry her after the death of his cancer-stricken wife Elizabeth.
Experts are now calling for audits of Edwards’ campaign finances, as well as possible gift-tax violations by Fred Baron and other individuals who funneled money to Rielle. Snarkista’s said before…follow the money. The National Enquirer is doing just that. John’s troubles aren’t CLOSE to being over, and he’s still looking for a bigger shovel.
Well, it’s official. Lindsay Lohan was raised in a barn. Olympic swimming superstar Michael Phelps‘ mom was doing an interview with Access Hollywood’s Billy Bush on Monday. Billy received a text message from Lindsay while on the air with Debbie Phelps, which he proceeded to show her. Mom was NOT amused. Why? Here’s Lindsay’s CLASSY come-on she wanted Debbie to pass on to Michael:
“Tell him he’s f***ng amazing, and I want to meet him.”
Except without the stars.
Mama Debbie went from happy to horrified, and declared:
“OK, Lindsay!!! — Delete! Delete! Delete!”
Delete indeed! Lindsay’s obviously trying to hook up with anything that breathes…of either sex. Dina Lohan is probably scratching her head at why Debbie Phelps is horrified. Dina would do the same thing, so what’s the big deal? White trash, my dears, will always be white trash, and Debbie Phelps can smell the trash from a mile away.
Britney Spears shows off her better bikini bod on the cover of this week’s OK magazine. Hopefully this will NOT be ammo for Brit to perform in a bikini again on the VMA awards! Still, Britney looks a lot better, and says:
“I’m the healthiest I’ve been all my life,” Britney, 26, tells OK!. “My diet has a lot to do with my getting into shape. I have no sugar. I don’t eat fruit or even fruit juice because of the sugar. I eat chicken and salmon and rice. I eat avocados. I’ll have egg whites for breakfast and sometimes turkey burgers for lunch. I try to do just 1,200 calories a day. It may sound like it’s not much, but it’s actually a lot of food if you eat the right things.”
Britney’s been seen wearing her bikini around lately, and it’s a welcome change from her not-so-distant flabby self. She’s continuing to work out and wants to be a healthy role model for her two boys. NOT mentioned is the cigarette part of her diet…ciggies always help with weight loss, but have the unfortunate side-effect of lung cancer. Keep the ciggies away from the babies, Brit, and that will do more than any diet to model healthy living!