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Snark Sightings

The Rad Girls Give Jackass A Kick In The Nuts…Videos! Yidio

Was President Bush Hammered At The Olympics? Wonkette

Tyra’s Tranny Top Model: US

Jonas Brothers‘ Fans Spank The Washington Post Idolator

Olympic Weightlifting Gone WAY Wrong: DListed

P. Diddy…Olympic Stud? Industry Finest

Tom Cruise- Christmas Nazi: Ace Showbiz

Bobby Flay
Throws Down With Nashville’s Las Paletas (THE BEST!): Wanna Be Tv Chef

The Perfect Gift For That Picky Claymate On Your List: Gallery Of The Absurd

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Casey’s Cheating On Jamie Lynn Spears, D-Listers Pile On

Esteemed media purveyor In Touch magazine has an “exclusive” with a 28 year old woman who says she cheated with 19 year old Casey Aldridge, Jamie-Lynn Spears’ baby daddy. While Jamie-Lynn was fat preggers. They have some pretty skanky pics in the mag that Jamie-Lynn is probably beating the shizz out of Casey with right now. Don’t wake the baybah!

Rumors have been around for a long time that Casey couldn’t keep his pants zipped. Guess In Touch came up with the right number on the paycheck!!

Jason Alexander, Britney’s “mini-marriage” groom has chimed in and says that yes, Casey is a big fat cheater. And…

“Kelli and Casey have been a couple on and off for a few years, they were a really tight couple, but I think it was hard for Kelli, having Jamie Lynn in the picture.

The cradle robber, Kelli Dawson, says she and Casey have been hooking up for 12 months! And still are!! They stopped having sex, though, ‘cuz of the baby and all. Kelli apparently had a whiff of remorse about keeping that part up. Check out her pic- she looks about 38, not 28! Somebody needs to check the crazy-juice levels in the Kentwood water. Great job, Casey! Your gravy-train may have just derailed!


America Ferrera Is SO Over Blake Lively!

This is hilarious. Ugly Betty star America Ferrera is out reluctantly promoting the latest “Sisterhood Of The Traveling Pants”, or as Snarkista likes to call it: “Slacks 2″. Sadly for her, she has to do it with Blake Lively. America’s obviously NOT a Gossip Girl fan. She SO wants to cut Blake!

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Holy Crap, It’s BigFoot!

Two California “researchers” and two dudes in Northern Georgia named Matthew Whitton and Rick Dyer say they’ve got a dead Bigfoot on ice, and are gonna hold a press conference on Friday to reveal all. First of all, Snarkista is a little freaked ‘cuz Northern Georgia is not THAT far away from Nashville! Not that Bigfoot would be into music, but she’s just saying!

These guys are serious because they’ve formed a Bigfoot LLC., which means they have to file tax returns! The guys say they have DNA and a lot of other data. And, presumably the body in the freezer they have pictured here. The one they’ve named RickMat. (Rick + Matthew= Bigfoot). Their press conference is reportedly scheduled for Friday, August 15th at 12 noon P.T.

Their website, says the following about the freaky beast:
* It is male.
* It has reddish hair and blackish-grey eyes.
* It has two arms and two legs, and five fingers on each hand and five toes on each foot.
* The feet are flat and similar to human feet.
* The creature is seven feet seven inches tall.
* It weighs over five hundred pounds.
* The creature looks like it is part human and part ape-like.
* Its footprint is sixteen and three-quarters inches long and five and three-quarters inches wide at the heel.
* From the palm of the hand to the tip of the middle finger, its hands are eleven and three-quarters inches long and six and one-quarter inches wide.
* The creatures walk upright. (Several of them were sighted on the same day that the body was found.)
* The teeth are more human-like than ape-like.
* DNA tests are currently being done and the current DNA and photo evidence will be presented at the press conference on Friday, August 15th.

Have they considered that this may just be a relative of Christina Aguilera’s husband Jordan? ‘Cuz Snarkista just took Snarkista Jr. to college even CLOSER to Northern Georgia. Like she didn’t have ENOUGH to worry about. Damn you, Bigfoot!


Jennifer Aniston Dumped By John Mayer

Reports are saying that Jennifer Aniston has been dumped by John Mayer. The Mirror UK says that after Stalker and John took a short break from each other, they made the break official. Rather, John did. Snarkista TOLD YOU this wasn’t gonna last!! All of those reports of the wedding and babies scared playah John off!

The mags had them virtually married off, with covers last week showing Jennifer in wedding gowns. Big, big mistake. Fire the publicist. Stalker might has well have gotten her shotgun out. Er, Snarkista guesses that in a way, she did. Saint Angelina and the holy twins made her snap, and she went into a full-court press.

Apparently Johnny wasn’t ready to commit to Jen at THAT level. And Jen just went and got her lips all pouted up! All those expensive beauty treatments (neccessary “tune-ups” according to Jen) weren’t enough to keep John at home. Shocker. Flypaper broke ALL the rules of snagging a man by freaking when he talked to other girls, stalking him night and day, talking about getting hitched, and trying to get preggers.

Learn something from this, Jen. Get the ring, keep it low-key, and hopefully make it down the aisle first. And don’t tell your “friends” all of your scoop ‘cuz they’ll run it to the Tabs and scare off your man!

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Britney’s Political Platform Video From National Lampoon

Is Paris Hilton ready to lead? In an answer to Paris’ bid for the White House, National Lampoon lobs it back to Funny Or Die with their OWN candidate: Britney Spears!

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Victim Stabbed by “40 Year Old Virgin” Shelley Malil Identified

UPDATE: Shelley Malil has pleaded NOT GUILTY to attempted murder in the stabbing of his girlfriend. This despite the reports by at least two witnesses, one of whom disarmed Malil after he grabbed a SECOND knife to continue his assault. Snarkista smells an insanity plea coming. Malil is being held on $10 million bond after Superior Court Judge Marshall Hockett deemed him a potential flight risk during his arraignment Wednesday. If convicted, he faces a maximum sentence of life in prison.

The reported girlfriend stabbed by “40 Year Old Virgin” actor Shelley Malil last night near San Diego has been identified. TMZ’s reporting that her name is Kendra Beebe. They’ve also posted pictures of Kendra.

The National Ledger
reports that Kendra Beebe is 35 years old, and was heavily bleeding by the time police arrived. Her 2 year old and 4 year old children were apparently at home while she was being attacked. The report claims that the knifing came outside of the house into the back yard, where a neighbor reportedly claimed that he saw the attack. There were reports of breaking glass heard as well as a woman screaming for help.

The victim was stabbed over 20 times according to the LA Times, and is in critical condition. San Diego’s NBC affiliate, KNSD-TV, reports that Malil arrived at the home and found his ex-girlfriend in her backyard with another man, grabbed a knife and began stabbing her while chasing her through her home. When the unidentified man tried to intervene, he was also stabbed in the hand. The attack was extremely BRUTAL, with a neighbor telling KNSD that “her chin was almost entirely cut off”.

Shelley was arrested after taking an Amtrak train to Oceanside. He was booked on “suspicion of attempted murder, mayhem and burglary”, is being held at the Vista Detention Center, and is due to be arraigned tomorrow morning.

Reports are varied, but some say the two recently broke up, while others say they were seen together this weekend and seemed as normal. Violence NEVER fixed a breakup. Shelley’s gonna be looking at some hard time if his ex passes away, and attempted murder ain’t no picnic. Crazyass better be on his knees.

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