Christie Brinkley will reportedly retain sole custody of her children after reaching a settlement in her ugly divorce battle with ex Peter Cook. The agreement came around 6:15 a.m. Thursday after overnight negotiations. A source tells the New York Post that Cook, 49, will continue their current visitation arrangement: He will get their kids, Jack, 13, and Sailor, 10, every Wednesday and alternating weekends, plus alternating weeks during the summer.

Christie, 54, will keep all 18 properties in the Hamptons that were being disputed, and agreed to pay him $2.1 million. Chump change for such a HUGE chump! Christie’s properties make that little cash toss look like loose change.

“I am very happy with the settlement,” Brinkley told reporters as she entered court Thursday. “Didn’t sleep a wink. It’s a great day.” Asked Wednesday if a settlement were in the works, Brinkley pressed her palms together and told reporters, “It’s what I hope and pray for.”

The settlement marks the end of a bitter — and embarrassing — battle for the two. Brinkley, who broke down several times on the stand, had accused Cook of having a $3,000-a-month Internet porn habit and destroying their 10-year marriage by having an affair with his teenage assistant, Diana Bianchi. “My world was completely shattered,” Brinkley said when she found out he cheated on her in 2006. Brinkley also alleged that he had been arrested for buying drugs “at a gay truck stop.”

Cook apologized for the affair and porn usage, but insisted neither affected his parenting skills. WHATEVER. He fired back at Brinkley, saying she had anger issues and suggested that she was trying to launch a smear campaign against him for requesting a public trial. Yes, Snarkista would agree that Christie was a pit pissed at the porn, cheating and drug use. Shocker.

In the end, a court-appointed psychologist testified that Brinkley deserved full custody because Cook’s narcissism “could cause harm” to their children. Truth! Bianchi wasn’t Peter’s only affair, he thought he could do anything he wanted and keep his marriage too. But he didn’t count on Christie and her BIG guns. Good for her. Let Peter slither off in shame.

Rednecks Punked By Bruno! ONTD

Jack Black Don’t Like Smack: Celebrity Smack

C-Rod’s Burning Up The Checkbook: Hot Mama Gossip

Britney Can’t Play With Madonna, Yall: ContactMusic

And Madge DESPERATELY Needs A Stylist! Bitten And Bound

Maybe Brooke IS the Hogan who knows best… Hulk and Linda have been acting about 13 lately, and Speed Racer’s off playing drop the soap. But how’s Brooke gonna pay for her pad and bling and shizz? Her new show, starting Sunday- duh! Let’s hope she’ll have some friends!

File this under WTF??? Sting’s 17 year old daughter Coco Sumner has developed a friendship with idiot crackhead Pete Doherty, 29. Pete’s the male version of Amy Winehouse, (also her pal) and is coker/model Kate Moss’ ex. The UK Daily Mail says Coco and Pete’s “friendship” began after they met at a Soho jazz bar in London, and Pete has been helping her “develop her songwriting and guitar skills”. Uh, the only skill that Pete has in abundance is the ability to skirt doing time for drug charges. Like, more times than Snarkista can count. Besides, doesn’t Sting have a few musical skills himself?

Coco and Pete were together at the Glastonbury festival, where Pete played a solo set. An onlooker said:

I was standing next to Coco’s tent after Pete had played his set, and one of her friends went to check on her. She unzipped the door, and Pete was lying outstretched in her tent. He looked very comfortable and was smoking something – the tent was full of smoke but it was impossible to tell what it was. He seemed pretty out of it, though. Coco’s father isn’t too happy about her hanging around Pete because of his reputation, and hit the roof when he heard he had stayed in her tent. Coco has definitely inherited her dad’s vocal skills and Pete has been raving about her talent. It’s pretty clear he has the hots for her too, which will only worry her dad more.

Hello? Anybody home? Snarkista guarantees whatever Pete was smoking was NOT legal. Sting and Mama Trudy better lock their baby up quick, and take a hard look at the trainwreck that is Amy Winehouse. Ring daddy Mitch up and ask him what HE thinks. Anyone who would let their little girl hang out with Pete needs to have a LOUD wakeup call! Sting always seemed more sensible than that. I guess you never know with celeb parents. Here’s hoping we don’t hear about Coco running through London hammered, in filthy ballet slippers, with a toxic rat’s nest on her head.

Duck, y’all, the wrath of Xenu is coming! NY Post’s Michael Riedel reports that when it comes to the Broadway box office, the current Mrs. Tom Cruise has NOTHIN’ on the FORMER Mrs. Tom Cruise.

Katie Holmes is starring in the revival of Arthur Miller’s “All My Sons” this fall, but production sources are worried ‘cuz advance ticket sales aren’t looking real good. “Where are all the Scientologists? Don’t they want to see her?” jokes one person, who is no fool and requested anonymity. The Sci-bots will make you DISAPPEAR if you eff with them.

Ticket brokers and group sales agents say interest in the Holmes show is: NADA, NYET, NEIN, NONE. “I bought 1,000 tickets to the show,” says one broker. “I still have them.” The advance sales for “All My Sons,” which opens in September, is said to be less than $1 million. Yikes! New mom Nicole Kidman racked up a $4 million advance in 1998, when she made her Broadway debut in David Hare’s “The Blue Room.”

Nic wasn’t a huge star then, but she was great in the play. Scalpers were getting $700 for seats in the balcony! Her career took off afterwards helped by the press love she got for her performance. And because she split with Tommy-Girl shortly afterwards.

Why is Katie trailing Nic at the box office? Well, there’s the obvious: TOM, who’s still trying to rebound from couch-bouncing with Oprah. Katie’s not a huge draw on her own ‘cuz she’s mostly famous for being Tommy’s beard, and the economy sucks.

Also not helping: the backstage chatter at “All My Sons,” is that the cast has been forced to sign confidentiality agreements. Shocker. Katie’s Scientology captors don’t want any press they can’t control. Great strategy, as usual. See how well it’s working for Tom? L. Ron’s brainwashing techniques don’t fly with the PR peeps, and journalists don’t take kindly to being threatened with loss of life as they know it. Ergo- crickets.

Lindsay Lohan turnded 22 the other day, and Samantha Ronson made sure her gift would stand out from the rest! SamRo gave LiLo a $22,000 diamond ring from Cartier! But they’re NOT dating, y’all. Even though SamRo put this pic on her MySpace page. An “insider” told British mag The Mirror that:

Lindsay is thrilled and she and Sam are very content. It’s not an engagement ring – simply a token of her commitment. Sam and Lindsay are inseparable. Sam has been a really good influence on Lindsay. There is no one else special in Lindsay’s life apart from Sam….It’s really sweet that Lindsay has found someone she can trust and rely on.

Lindsay does seem to have settled down a bit since she hooked up with SamRo, and seeing as she’s gone through much of male Hollywood already, perhaps this pairing makes some twisted sense. SamRo’s openly gay, so pretty soon Lindsay’s gonna have to open the closet door- not that anyone thinks it’s closed anymore.

Snarkista does hope Lindsay’s recent dramatic weight loss is due to happiness and not any substances SamRo might be bringing home from her club DJ gigs! Lindsay IS sporting the bling-ring around, which is as close to coming out as you can get- without actually coming out. Game’s up, girls.

Guess Kanye West’s managers were hoping the press releases about Kanye going to anger management classes would keep them from having to broach the subject with Kanye himself. Didn’t work, chickens! Not that Snarkista would want to confront Kanye on much of ANYTHING, especially his need for some temper control. Quoth Kanye on his blog:

NO ANGER MANAGEMENT… IF ANYTHING I NEED ANGER ENHANCEMENT! LOL!!!
07.07.2008

Do yall remember when people said my fiance was pregnant???? What happened to that rumor????? I guess after we broke up it was just forgot about???? I’m just using that as an example of how people make up stuff and everybody runs with it. I had my own family asking me about that. Now the media is saying I’m going to anger management something or ‘nother. I have never had any conversations about anger management. If anything, I need anger enhancement!! lol! I get off the plane in Hawaii today and the world is saying my management team said blah blah blah… SIIIIIIGGGHHHH! I told the media you can’t make up lies about me because I have a media outlet myself. Oh and sidebar I don’t know if everyone has realized this yet but I don’t do interviews if there’s anything I wanna say I’ll say right here on my own blog.
Check this out…I took a quote from my rant and used it as my headline.. just like a real media outlet would… hahaha

Earlier this week, British tabloid The Sun quoted a source as saying that his management team “came up with the idea. His mood swings were beginning to play a part in his commercial enterprises as people felt he was miserable all the time.” They believe that the anger could cost him sponsorship deals at any length. Kanye had a virtual meltdown over the Bonaroo fans cold reception towards him, and almost broke his Mac Air ranting about it.

Message sent, received and rejected. Time to take another tact, boyz.