Stalker Jennifer Aniston is about to turn 40 and is dating 10-year younger John Mayer. All the tabs and mags have Jen waltzing down the aisle with John this year (but not Snarkista). John’s a known flirt, which only inflames Jen’s flypaper tendencies. So…what’s a middle-aged woman to do? Trout pout, natch.
Looks like Stalker’s been up in the Restylane a bit! Behold the pics above; the left one’s from 2005, and the right one’s from the other day. Go ahead, click ‘em and check it out up close. Not that the obvious work needs to be magnified. Ah, the slippery slope beckoneth. The work apparently took place in early July, when Jen hid out in the weeks before the birth of ex-husband Brad Pitt’s
messiahs twins with Angelina Jolie.
‘It seems obvious she had some work done,’ a “close friend” told the UK Daily Mail, noting her lips had a ‘stiff, unnatural pucker that just didn’t fit the rest of her face’. SO true, but if Snarkista were Jennifer, she’d cut that “friend” loose ASAP! AND, cut the bitch on her way out!!
The “friend” also said Jen confided that she has indeed undergone a number of lip-boosting procedures. Confided. Dang. That is effin’ pitiful. Stalker used to have better Friends.
Federal Prosecutors have decided NOT to pursue official charges into the death of Heath Ledger. The Feds decided not to pursue a criminal case into how he obtained the powerful painkillers that contributed to his overdose death this year, a law enforcement official said Wednesday.
Prosecutors in the U.S. attorney’s office in Manhattan had been overseeing a D.E.A. probe into whether the painkillers found in Ledger’s system were obtained illegally. But the prosecutors have bowed out “because they don’t believe there’s a viable target,” said the official, who spoke on condition of anonymity because no charges have been filed.
Looks like potential “viable target” Mary-Kate Olsen is off the hook…for now. Wonder how much THAT cost! The DEA had obtained a subpoena that could have forced Olsen if she continued to hold out. The official added that the case could still be revived if evidence of a crime emerges. MK has been stonewalling investigators, and it looks like for now, it’s paid off.
Rebekah Carmichael, a spokeswoman for the U.S. attorney’s office, said it’s the office’s policy to “neither confirm nor deny the existence of an investigation.” There was no immediate response to a message left for Olsen’s attorney, Michael C. Miller.
DEA investigators suspect the painkillers found in Ledger’s system, oxycodone (Oxycontin)and hydrocodone, were obtained with phony prescriptions or other illegal means.
Snarkista thinks its possible that Mary-Kate could have been involved. Oxy suppresses appetite in many users, and MK has been in rehab for anorexia and is rumored to have had treatment for substance abuse. Her bodyguards had plenty of time to get evidence out of Heath’s apartment, although it would probably have been hard to trace back to her. Unless someone else knew she provided the drugs.
If so, no one is talking, and the lil’ bag lady can sleep a little easier tonight. The Feds can and will reopen the investigation if any pertinent evidence comes to light. Dodged a bullet, Trollsen.
Britney Spears, contrary to a gazillion net reports over the past 24 hours, is not going to play a lesbian stripper in Quentin Tarantino’s remake of the cult classic Faster Pussycat! Kill Kill! The part would have had her murdering her boyfriend, making out with girls, ripping her clothes off and other shizz that Britney would have to ACT to do. Actually, only the murdering part would require acting.
Brit’s reps tell Access Hollywood that it’s bogus, and Quentin will not be riding on the Spears crazy-train. Yes, sadly, theyâ€™ve already denied everything. Snarkista is PISSED! A Britney-Quentin combo had such enormous WTF potential!
Britney’s party-killer reps allow that:
â€œThough she definitely intends to explore acting roles down the road, right now sheâ€™s concentrating on recording her next album.â€
Translation: Britney’s tied up (literally) in the studio right now playing with cheetos and cigarettes. We’re faking up some shizz for a release, and there’s no way in holy hell she’s gonna come within 3 states of Quentin Tarantino. Britney get THAT kind of behavior reinforcement? Oh, HELL no. Papa Spears has been working TOO effin’ hard to have it blow like a meth lab within 30 minutes.
No, this isn’t Paris Hilton Week. But Wonky’s pissed about John McCain using her picture for .3 seconds in his ad that quickly went viral. Mama Wonky is even more pissed because she gave some of that hotel money to McCain! In case you haven’t already seen Paris Hilton’s response from Funny or Die, here it is. Snarkista thinks the funniest part is Wonky trying to read the prompter fast when she gets to her policy points. Big words are HARD!
Sugarland Kicks Miley Cyrus In The Ass: Contact Music
Wonky Strikes Back: Seriously? OMG!
Stalker Aniston Can’t Take A Joke: Showbiz Spy
Michael Lohan’s Not Down With A 2-Bride Wedding: Backseat Cuddler
Which politicians are REALLY most like Paris Hilton? Indecision ’08
Hollywoods Top-Paid Tweens: Forbes
Tips On How To Score At The Store: The Bachelor Guy
Christina Aguilera’s Ready For Halloween: Superficial Diva
Barackbook- Be Obama’s Friend!: Guanabee
Britney Gets Another VMA Nod: Fafarazzi
Celebrity Look-Alikes: Slacker Network
Hmmm! Here’s a side of Paris Hilton we haven’t seen before! Paris has been a busy girl, what with being a Spooferhero, pissing off Democrats AND Republicans in an unauthorized ad, and now singing and dancing in a pool of blood! Paris is in the cast “Repo! The Genetic Opera”, a quirky movie musical scheduled to be released in November. Perfect casting for Wonky!! She’s reportedly had her nose fixed, and is scheduled to have wonky-eye surgery! (FINALLY!!) Maybe this will be the big screen hit Paris has been grasping for. Take THAT, Sharon Osborne! Check out the video- Paris comes in in typical slutty garb and she’s sporting long brunette hair. Anything for her craft.
Well, it looks like we won’t have Nigel to bitch about this season on American Idol. Maybe Andrew Lloyd Webber night was the last straw. Or Neil Diamond. Or any of the other demographic-killing theme nights we witnessed last season. Nigel has been American Idol’s producer since the beginning, and rumors have it he’s lost his passion for the show. He’s leaving right as Fox faces the challenge of staying on top in its eighth season.
Nigel’s negotiating a joint-venture deal with American Idol creator Simon Fuller and 19 Entertainment. You’ve probably seen Nigel sitting behind the Idol judges during the show, and if you watch “So You Think You Can Dance?” you know him well! Nigel produces SYTYCD also, and stated that:
I will step back from my day-to-day producing work on ‘American Idol’ and will be devoting my time to the new enterprise
The change comes as Idol tries to keep its hold on the No. 1 ratings spot, a rare trick for an aging show. Last season the ratings had a small downturn, and the audience age shifted a bit older. The demographic shift is probably the more worrisome piece of data.
Fox congratulated Lythgoe on his new venture but acknowledged it was “disappointed” that he would not be continuing as executive producer. No word on whether Nigel will have any sort of involvement in the show going forward, or what Nigel, Simon Fuller and 19E’s new venture will be. The show returns January 19th, 2009. 19E says the new producers have yet to be decided.
Wow. Things are about to get REAL interesting. And could possibly go straight into the crapper.