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Jennifer Lopez On Michael Phelps: I’m The REAL Story

Insufferable diva Jennifer Lopez may have out-douched herself this time. MSNBC sources are reporting that the legend in her own mind got PISSY about all the attention Olympic superstar Michael Phelps is getting. Hahahahah!!!! J. Lo appeared on “Good Morning America” yesterday to pimp her prep for the upcoming Malibu Triathlon. GMA sources say that after the segment, diva was overheard saying she:

“couldn’t understand why everyone is talking about that swimmer. She couldn’t come up with (eight-time gold-medal winner Michael) Phelps’ name, and then she blabbed on about how SHE was the one training for a triathlon just six months after giving birth, and how that SHE was the big story right now, not ‘the swimmer.’ “

This is a new high in inches for how far J. Lo’s head is up her own ass. That’s gotta be worth at least a bronze medal. Bitch, get back to “training” in Central Park with your makeup artist, while Skelator follows you on the Segway. Snarkista’s pretty sure Phelps will say “Jennifer Who?” IF he hears the news. She seriously doubts he has that much free time.


Wax Jonas Brothers Can’t Run; Tweens Go Crazy

The Jonas Brothers unveiled their wax counterparts at Madame Toussads’ museum in Washington, DC this weekend. Some die-hard fans waited 2 DAYS AND NIGHTS to be among the first to see the immobile cuties. Wax can’t run, so THESE JoBros will likely become a shrine for tweens everywhere. You can see from the pics how the Waxbros faked out some of the crazed girls…who seem to be quite happy with the next best thing! They got to touch them!! OMG!!!

Madame Toussads’ was originally only going to allow 50 of the weeping fans in, but changed the number to 100 after seeing the crowd, and fearing for their lives. The museum spent countless hours consulting with the Jonas Brothers, taking pics and measurements, so the WaxBros could serve as the ultimate decoy for less discerning tweens. The WaxBros are even wearing the ACTUAL CLOTHES the Jonas Brothers wore on the cover of their new album “A Little Bit Longer”.

The museum needs to guard the WaxBros 24/7, or they’re gonna be the NudeBros. Crazed tweens are plotting as we speak to snatch those clothes, and hide them in their beds forever. Also, Miley Cyrus may try to kidnap the Nick Jonas WaxBro to show those haters she IS still dating Nick. The Jonas Brothers should consider working a deal to borrow the WaxBros from time-to-time ‘cuz WaxBros won’t lose their hearing when the tweens crank up the earth-shaking screams. Just a tip!

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Heidi Montag’s Latest Ear-Bleeder: “Overdosin’ ”

Why, Snarkista, you ask, do you tell us about Heidi Montag’s songs? Because, my children, they are just such effin’ trainwrecks that Snarkista can’t turn away. Guilty as charged. Please don’t make anything Heidi-related part of my punishment. Heidibot never sounded more like a broken synthesizer than she does here. Which is saying A LOT. Where does one actually BUY a Heidi Montag release anyways? Is she on the i-tunes charts? Do they even go that low? Snarkista doesn’t think anyone’s in danger of “Overdosin’ ” on Heidi, ‘cuz no one could listen that long. Get the duct-tape ready again. When your head explodes you wanna be able to find all the pieces.

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Britney Spears Is Hittin’ This?

Britney Spears reportedly has another new boyfriend, according to the Post-Chronicle, and his name is Sean Fox, (a.k.a. Sean Zastoupil). Sean apparently had an overnight recently with Britney. He’s a dancer, model, actor and now maybe flavor of the day, who used to date Lauren Conrad of “The Hills”! Crap. LC’s gonna throw a hissy now, and it shouldn’t take Spencer Pratt long to try and insert his doucheass into the fray.

Depending upon whom you believe, Britney’s been rumored to be dating bodyguards and hotel magnates as well, OR has been celibate for 6 months. Britney’s REAL flavor of FOREVER is captured in the pic above from OK magazine. It’s Snarkista’s FAVE of all time, it has captured Brit in her natural habitat…with Cheetos. That OK photographer deserves a freakin’ Pulitzer.

Back to the flavor of the day…here’s the latest supposed boy-toy Sean, in an obviously home-made yet extremely earnest and serious “dance and modeling” video. Sean sounds like Michael Jackson, and the jam box in the shots really ups his street cred, don’t ya think? Pose on, baby.

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Cloris Leachman’s Naughty Roast Of Bob Saget

Cloris Leachman is still spicy! Mary Tyler Moore show and multi- movie star Cloris Leachman made a hilarious appearance at the Comedy Central roast of Bob Saget, single dad on “Full House” with the Olsen twins and John Stamos. Bob’s TRUE persona is quite spicy as well; his standup shows are known for their funny, but QUITE dirty jokes! Cloris was reportedly in the running for this season’s Dancing With The Stars, but got beat out by Toni Braxton. Well, Cloris IS 82. Ya gotta draw the line SOMEWHERE!

Cloris begin her part of the roast by saying:

“I am not here to roast Bob Saget. I’m here to [F-word] John Stamos.”

Here’s the video that everybody’s talking about…quite a hoot!


Jay-Z’s Nightclub Is Failing, He Wants To Cash Out

Hip-hop mogul Jay-Z is reportedly looking to sell his 40/40 sports bar in Las Vegas because the club hasn’t made a profit since its grand opening late last year. The rapper (whose real name is Shawn Carter) started the Vegas venture in December, and it’s part of his 40/40 chain. The club had a rocky start, failing it’s initial inspections right before it opened.

The NY Post reports that Jay-Z’s in talks with the Las Vegas Sands Corp. who own the Venetian and the Palazzo. He wants to sell them a 50 percent stake in the sports club for $44 million. Ka-ching! Their inside source said:

That would make the 40/40 club in Vegas the largest sports booking operation. People can gamble both at the tables and on games. The Sands will also have the right to open 40/40 clubs in London and across Europe.

However, is reporting that the club’s investors are losing patience with the lack of cash flow, and want to pull out from the deal altogether.

So many celebs branch out into ventures that are out of their “wheelhouse”. Most of them fail, lots of times because the star doesn’t have the time or expertise to run the biz. Jay-Z’s a good businessman when it comes to music, but it sounds like even he isn’t completely recession-proof!


Bernie Mac’s Memorial Service Draws Thousands

The late Bernie Mac’s public memorial service was held today at Chicago’s House of Hope church on Chicago’s South Side. Bernie died from complications of pneumonia at only 50 years old.

Many celebrities joined the public, and eulogized Bernie with emotional speeches. Chris Rock, Rev. Jesse Jackson and actor Samuel L. Jackson, Mac’s costar in the upcoming flick Soul Men were among them. Eonline reports that Mac’s fellow Original Kings of Comedy : Cedric the Entertainer, Steve Harvey and DL Hughley sat beside each other, breaking down in tears during the service. When they took the stage, however, they mixed their tears with laughter as they remembered Bernie.

Isaac Hayes, who died one day after Bernie at the age of 65 was also honored. A montage of photos and sound clips from Mac’s life and career were set to some of Isaac’s best-known songs.

Many fans arrived by chartered buses and waited hours in line for a spot in the 10,000 seat church; some even camped out overnight. Samuel L. Jackson, co-stars with Bernie and Isaac in “Soul Men,” spoke, saying he knew Mac “was having some health issues, but he always said to me every morning that he was always good.” Isaac Hayes, who died Sunday, also stars in the movie, and Hayes’ music was played during the service.
Jackson said that Bernie didn’t mind the loss of privacy that came with his fame.

“He never turned that kid down for an autograph. He always had time to shake a hand. He was always that kid from Chicago who wanted to make everybody happy and everybody laugh.

The service included the reading of condolence letters from children; from Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama, an Illinois senator; and from Mac’s beloved White Sox baseball team. Mac’s comedy routines were played on large video screens with off-color words bleeped out.

Outside, traffic was tied up for blocks, vendors sold memorial T-shirts for $10, and Chicago waiter Timothy Strickland manned a makeshift shrine featuring photos, including Mac’s 1971 eighth-grade basketball team picture. A sign read: “Thank you, Bernie, for showing that good people do come from Englewood.”

Mac grew up on the South Side in the Woodlawn and Englewood neighborhoods.

“This shows support … from the whole Chicago area and how much he will be missed,” said Pamela Gordon of Chicago, one of hundreds of people who lined up hours before the memorial started. “He was a good man, a beautiful husband and he was real,” she added. “And he was handsome, honey.” Vera Gordon said she came to pay tribute to the comedian who made her mother, who suffers from dementia, laugh. “She watched the `Bernie Mac Show’ every night,” Vera Gordon said of her mother, Margaret Berston, 79. “She would just sit there and laugh. You could see the sadness when I told her. I came here to represent my mother.”

Inside the church, Chicago’s mayor, Richard Daly, addressed the huge crowd, praising Mac as a man devoted to making Chicago a safer place.

“He wanted to do something personally to get children away from the life of violence. He had a heart and passion… That’s why as the king of comedy, he never lost his soul in Chicago.

The family requests that donations be made at, which aims at finding a cure for sarcoidosis.

Rest In Peace, Bernie Mac.

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