Behold new mom Jessica Alba, posing for a new Campari calendar. Jessica wants us to think she’s shed every ounce of preggo, and is once again, perfection of body. Enter Photoshop guru! He’s nipped a few off of her hips, and made sure that Jessica is NOT smiling, even a little. ‘Cuz that is how she rolls. Also…boob lift! Ahhh, if Photoshop could only live in Snarkista’s closet. Santa?!



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