Simon Cowell Is A Giant Purple Pimp

Holy crap. American Idol’s finale just ended, the long awaited David Cook v David Archuleta matchup. Idol pulled Andrew Lloyd Weber back out of the crypt, and he and 200 year old Clive Davis served as mentors to the Davids. David Cook sang three different songs well. Lil Archie sang 3 ballads, one of which was “Imagine”. Again.

If Randy says “Dude you could sing the phonebook, you’re so good” ONE MORE TIME I will cease watching Idol forever. Seriously dawg, you need some new material ASAP. Paula was, well- Paula, and Simon has never pimped Archie harder. We’re talking downtown, DIRTY pimping! Any lack of transparency on the judges’ part was gone tonight, as it was a complete Archuleta coronation-fest. GAK!

Numbers for David COOK are: 1-866-IDOLS01, 03, and 05, or text “vote” to 5701.

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