Ooooh, reports of shizz hitting the fan are circulating about American Idol’s Mr. Nasty, Simon Cowell. Personally, Snarkista hearts Simon, because he’s so dang crotchety, suffers no fools, and he isn’t tone deaf. Paula’s fun to watch because she’s a walking acid trip with occasional amnesia, narcolepsy and verbal diarrhea. Randy is a one-joke joke that we’ve heard WAY to many times, dawg. The new girl with the giant resume is the BIG unknown for the upcoming season, although Paula has surely been asking Mr. Jack Daniels for pointers on how to off the biyotch. Auditions have already begun, and the new season of Idol starts in January.

Simon is apparently making too much money. Isn’t it always about the money? In this case, Simon’s making about $42 million a year more than Paula, and about $48 million more than Randy. Paula needs to clam up, because she is NOT gonna make $8 million a year recycling “Scat Cat” crap from the ’80’s. Simon’s a co-creator of the show, he renegotiates his salary every year, his record label signs the winners. Randy has side projects, and is well-respected in the music world…even if he sounds like a freakin’ broken record on the show. Paula has…a seat at the table and an opaque Coke glass. $8 million a year is plenty to keep the glass full of Jesus Juice. Don’t rock the boat, Paula, or that new girl (Kara DioGuardi) may take you out. Seriously, have you seen the chick’s resume? It is KILLER. AND she’s hot. Better play nice.



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