Hide in the janitor’s closet, because the Feds investigating the National Enquirer for paying hospital workers for celeb stories have some more ammo today! An ex-employee at UCLA Medical Center staffer was indicted on April 9 after leaking private info about Farrah Fawcett, Maria Shriver and 60 other patients. Now, former Globe managing editor Jim Mitteager has released recordings where he’s talking to his moles in the medical profession about star cosmetic surgery, mental illness, bulimia, abortions, and AIDS.

Sneaky Jim’s gotten the scoop on Tommy Boy Cruise, Jessica Lange, Liz Taylor, Billy Crystal, Kelsey Grammer, Magic Johnson, Roseanne Barr Al Pacino, Paula Abdul, Frank Zappa and Vanna White. Tommy was probably in to see about a heel job to make him taller. You know Paula was in for the bubbly, and hopefully THEY didn’t kill Frank Zappa. The tabs are afraid their sources inside hospitals with big celeb traffic are gonna dry up. They ought to be afraid that the Feds are gonna bust up on THEM next for supplying the cash for the stories!

Mitteager’s recordings are from1992 and 1993, and confirm the widespread loose lips. One scuzzmiester is heard telling Jim that, “If Liz (Taylor) is in St. John’s Hospital,” his buddy there will know it. “She takes a special delight on getting s— on Liz,” says the source. “She has access to the computer and talks to orderlies.”

On a dead celeb with AIDS, a spy says “the people who want to sell the story have physical proof. They want $4,000. … They want to move fast because it’s Christmastime and they want to get paid.”
Christmas cash! Nothing like a death watch to enliven the spirit of the season!

A grabby nurse’s husband, wanted “some good-faith money” for his tip. Mitteager informs him that The Globe has STANDARDS for god’s sake, and payola is only for stories they actually run.

Mitteager gave his incriminating evidence to a PI named Paul Barresi, who has generously offered to cooperate with prosecutors and hospital officials. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out if the Feds are investigating the National Enquirer, The Globe could be next.

American Media Inc., which bought The Globe in 2000, is trying to cover their asses by saying the shizzola that went on before then isn’t their responsibility. American Media’s rep declined to comment on the current Enquirer case. His job is on the line, regular news people,he’s not saying anything else. Press conference over.

Publicist Stan Rosenfield, whose clients include Kelsey Grammer, Robert De Niro and George Clooney, says the obvious: “It’s alarming that this criminal activity could go on so long without being detected.” Farrah’s the only one with the cojones to go after the moles without caving in. Don’t mess with Farrah. She will cut a bitch.

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