American Idol Last Night: Winners and Losers

American Idol last night left us with a feeling of unrest and depression. Even our favorite girl, Crystal Bowersox, failed to give us the happy pill that would have at least raised the show to the level of only mildly boring. Michael Lynche almost managed to drag us out of the gutter, but in the end we were just left limp and wasted on the floor by the night’s performances.

Lee DeWyze on 'American Idol' (FOX)
Lee DeWyze on 'American Idol' (FOX)

Guest mentor Harry Connick Jr. tried to make us smile by cracking a few jokes, but overall he just didn’t even seem to like most of the contestants and it showed. We can’t blame him. Playing cheerleader and coach for one of the most lackluster final five American Idol contestants ever can’t be all that much fun. Let’s hope these folks learn some new tricks before the American Idols Live Tour this summer.

It almost seems a bit pointless to try to rank the contestants for American Idol‘s Frank Sinatra week. Apparently AI voters feel kind of the same way. DialIdol.com, which has a remarkable accuracy rating for predicting who is going to get voted off, can’t even call last night’s loser. This week the website ranks every contestant as “may be voted off or safe – it’s just too close to call.” Still, we’ll give it a try.

Lee DeWyze: “That’s Life” – If Harry Connick Jr. did like one of the contestants of the evening, it was obviously DeWyze – calling him a “new and improved version of me.” Well, we won’t go that far, but this genre obviously fit DeWyze well. Any other season, this performance would be mediocre at best. Among this year’s abysmal field of competitors, it was actually pretty decent. If we have to pick a winner for the evening, we guess it would be DeWyze.

 

Michael Lynche: “The Way You Look Tonight” – Big Mike got some of his pizzazz back last night and boy did he look kind of adorable in that fedora. The vocals were strong and we liked that he look confident on stage again. The performance was kind of hammy, but that’s just his style. Still, in the end it was nothing special.

<

Crystal Bowersox: “Summer Wind” – We hate to rank our favorite in the middle of the pack for the evening, but that’s where she landed. For the second week in a row, we really didn’t care much that Bowersox was singing – and that hurts us. Seriously, we’re beginning to wonder with these last two song choices if she is deliberately trying to get eliminated. Plus, she looked like that dress was cutting off her circulation. Bring back the hippie clothes, the drama and the belting Mama Sox!

<

Aaron Kelly: “Fly Me to the Moon” – We may be biased here because this is one of our least favorite Sinatra songs. Regardless, we felt the performance was weak, tired and altogether yawn-worthy. Being cute can only get you so far and we’re thinking maybe it’s time to boot this boy band wannabe.

<

Casey James: “Blue Skies” – It was difficult to call a ‘winner’ for the evening, but not so hard to pick the loser. Casey James was a mess on American Idol last night. His song choice didn’t suit him, his vocals were all over the place and we just wanted to smack that weird, smirky look right off his face.

<

With this kind of ‘final five’ on American Idol this season, we’re starting to think maybe it might be a good idea to let the show go gently into the good night when Simon Cowell makes his exit at the end of the season.

Note to American Idol 2012 producers for the next season – which we know they’ll do anyway – you are doing it wrong. Next time around, pick contestants that can actually sing and don’t sound like bad Miley Cyrus or Justin Timberlake knock-offs. And ditch the ‘oldies’ music and get the hell with the times.

>> Previously:  American Idol Last Night Didn’t Impress Us Much

American Idol Last Night Didn’t Impress Us Much

Even Crystal Bowersox failed to liven up the dismal fail of American Idol last night. Shania Twain proved to be a relatively intelligent and entertaining guest mentor, but the contestants were disappointing across the board. For the first time this season, we couldn’t even choose a best performance for the week, because they all pretty much sucked.

'American Idol' Top 6 (FOX)
'American Idol' Top 6 (FOX)

While we failed to really care much about any performance on American Idol 2012 last night, we do have to give a slight nod to Casey James for actually finally seeming to connect with a song for once. While we still think his performance of “Don’t!” was barely decent, we give him props for improving quite a bit over last week’s trip to the stage.

Siobhan Magnus managed to pull herself out of the gutter a bit with her rendition of “Any Man of Mine,” but much of the song was kind of torturous to listen to. She did, however, get it together by the last bit and actually land a few nice phrases.

We’re shocked to have to say this week we were not thrilled with Crystal Bowersox. Maybe it’s just because we’ve come to expect so much from her at this point. After last week’s jaw-dropping performance, this week Bowersox came across as terribly weak in her performance of “No One Needs to Know.” It wasn’t a great song choice and she sounded tired and not very invested in the song. Still, we love her anyway and she’ll keep getting our vote based on her amazing run this season regardless.

Michael Lynche, who we originally adored, has definitely grown tiresome. His take on “It Only Hurts When I’m Breathing” was solid, his voice tight – but we just didn’t get any emotional connection out of the performance. Plus, we know exactly how Big Mike is going to sound every week, there are just no surprises from him anymore.

A lot of folks apparently really enjoyed Aaron Kelly‘s “You’ve Got a Way” on American Idol last night, but we weren’t among them. Again, we just don’t find anything special or unique about this kid. He has a decent voice, he’s kind of cute, but that “it” factor is just missing in action with this one.

Lee DeWyze may be headed to the final two with the improvement he’s shown in recent weeks, but he just never ‘thrills’ us when he sings. At least a few of the other remaining contestants – especially Bowersox – have given us a few ‘wow’ moments on stage. DeWyze, on the other hand, never has.

Whoever ends up in the final five next week needs to go balls to the wall and pull out something amazingly hot. That includes our perennial favorite Crystal Bowersox. We’d like to see the last episodes of American Idol this season go out with a bang – not the pathetic whimper we heard last night.

>> Previously:  American Idol Gives Back Tim Urban