American Idol Elvis Night Blues

This week the top 9 contestants on American Idol wailed and whimpered their way through the songs of Elvis Presley. Even guest mentor Adam Lambert couldn’t save this show from being a torturous ride of badness from beginning to end. While a few of the contestants did well enough, overall it was one of the worst nights of American Idol we’ve ever had the misfortune to watch.

American Idol Top 9 (FOX)
American Idol Top 9 (FOX)

We always expect Crystal Bowersox to knock it out of the park and this week was no exception to the rule. Bowersox wisely followed Adam Lambert’s advice to go electric for her performance of “Saved” and the song choice suited her well. Honestly though, we’re actually starting to get a little bit bored by Bowersox. We know she’s going to be fabulous, but now is the time she needs to push it way harder. We don’t just want to watch her and say “that was terrific” – we want to hear her sing and be stunned into silence by her performance.

Andrew Garcia was one of our least favorite of the night with his take on “Hound Dog”. MTV.com’s Jim Cantiello called it “cruelty to animals” and we have to agree. We love that Adam Lambert didn’t pull any punches with Garcia during rehearsal. “It’s boring,” Lambert told Garcia. “I was bored. I’m going to be totally honest with you. I know I can be straight up with you.” Sadly, Garcia apparently didn’t learn anything from Lambert’s words of wisdom when he took to the stage.

We were angry when Tim Urban actually didn’t suck completely on “Can’t Help Falling In Love”. We’ve been bashing this guy since the beginning and the past two weeks he’s actually managed to not have the worst performance of the night. We don’t agree with Simon Cowell that Urban has gone from a “zero to a hero” – but we humbly admit he is improving. That being said, he still sounds like a cheap knockoff of a drunken karaoke singer.

While Lee DeWyze impressed us a bit with his rendition of “A Little Less Conversation”, we still think he needs some serious lessons in vocal control. Still, we rate him probably second or third for the night.

Aaron Kelly‘s “Blue Suede Shoes” was a yawn and we’re pretty sure he is just continuing to skate through based on the “cute” vote. Kelly is the guy we consistently forget exists, which is just about the worst thing you can say about a singer.

We’ve always had a bit of a thing for Siobhan Magnus, just because she’s a little bit “different” than the usual Idol contestant, but her “Suspicious Minds” performance was trivial and uninspiring. Magnus has had her moments this season, but last night wasn’t one of them.

Michael Lynche gave us a happy moment with his version of “In the Ghetto”, but our love for Big Mike is starting to wane. He’s got a great voice, but it’s beginning to feel like he’s kind of a one-note performer. Even so, he still stands out among the guys as one of the few who does have a decent share of natural talent to work with.

Simon Cowell called Katie Steven‘s performance of “Baby, What You Want Me To Do?” “shrieky and annoying” and we’ll jump right on that bandwagon. We’re done with Stevens and we hope the American Idol viewers will be too as soon as possible.

The judges were not impressed with Casey James and his boring-as-hell take on “Lawdy Miss Clawdy”. We frankly wanted to fast-forward through it after the first few notes. We don’t hate James, but we feel he’s another contestant getting by on the “cute” vote. Then again, there are plenty of music industry ‘stars’ out there doing the same thing and making buttloads of cash.

We’re glad Adam Lambert was around this week to give us some entertainment on American Idol, because the contestants failed for the most part to do anything of the sort. We can’t wait until Lambert takes the stage tonight to show these losers how it’s really supposed to be done!

>> Previously:  American Idol Top 9 Prepare for Elvis Night


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Why Was Michael Lynche Nearly Eliminated on American Idol Results Show?

American Idol contestant Michael Lynche lucked out big time last night when the judges decided to use their precious ‘save’ to keep him from being voted off the show. We’re glad Big Mike didn’t bite it, but we can’t help but wonder why the hell he was nearly cut in the first place?

Michael Lynche on 'American Idol' (FOX)
Michael Lynche on 'American Idol' (FOX)

The American Idol results show this week started off with all three remaining ladies receiving a pass through to next week. Naturally, we’re delighted that Crystal Bowersox retains her top status, but disappointed Katie Stevens didn’t at least land in the bottom three. It’s not that we dislike her; we just feel she doesn’t measure up against the better contestants. Not that Siobhan Magnus had a terrific week either; her performance for Lennon/McCartney night was mediocre at best.

Still, we didn’t really expect any of the three ladies to be sent home this week. What we were shocked about was the lineup of the guys in the bottom three. We knew things were getting dicey when perpetual bottom boy Tim Urban was placed in a group with Casey James – who is obviously a fan favorite. Michael Lynche, on the other hand, was put over in a group with Aaron Kelly and Andrew Garcia. Trouble brewing!

Okay, we can get that Michael Lynche might get a bottom three nod for his “Eleanor Rigby” performance this week. It was certainly not one of his best nights. But when we heard he had been voted off by the fans, we really were stunned. Of all the guys this season, Big Mike has proven he’s truly got the vocal chops and he can consistently perform on stage. Some of his performances have been the best of the season. It’s just scary that one night of wrongness could put Lynche below a near-talentless hack like Tim Urban or ultra-weak Andrew Garcia.

When the judges, after much passionate deliberation, announced they were going to grant Big Mike the save, we breathed a hefty sigh of relief. For a contestant like Michael Lynche to go home before Tim Urban, Andrew Garcia or Aaron Kelly would just be seriously painful.

We can’t help but feel America got it all wrong this week with the bottom three lineup. Not only should Michael Lynche never have been there, but Tim Urban and Aaron Kelly absolutely should have been in the bottom two. Urban because he’s sucked his way through the whole season and Kelly because his “Long and Winding Road” this week was torturous to listen to.

Just goes to show, however, that one bad week can make or break you on American Idol. Let’s just hope Crystal Bowersox doesn’t become the victim of one of those bad weeks now that the judges have lost their ability to save anyone else from elimination.

>> Previously:  American Idol Contestants Come Together