Crystal Bowersox on 'American Idol' (FOX)

We will admit, Crystal Bowersox’s ”Midnight Train to Georgia” performance wasn’t the best she’s had in our opinion. On the other hand, even less than her best is still way above what most of the contestants are putting out. We actually quite loved this song from Bowersox, we just prefer her singing that more indie chick-music kind of stuff.

As for the rest of the contestants last night, it seems like guest mentor Usher was a good influence for the most part. Across the board, the performances were generally a step up from last week.

We were dissapointed with Siobhan Magnus this week as her performance of “Through The Fire” was weak and the song really didn’t suit her well. On the other side of the stage, Michael Lynche made us sweet on him all over again with “Ready For Love” – one of our very favorites of the evening.

Lee Dewyze surprised us with quite a fabulous little rockin’ performance of “Treat Her Like a Lady” – we really didn’t know he had it in him. Casey James was actually decent, but we’re so over him. Aaron Kelly didn’t make us want to strangle him, which we guess is somewhat of an improvement.

Sadly, Didi Benami picked a terrible song and sounded awful and horridly outdated with “What Becomes of the Brokenhearted.” Andrew Garcia bored us, again. As did Katie Stevens.

And, oh yeah, Tim Urban sucked.

>> Previously:  American Idol Alumni Chikezie Eze Charged with Theft

Michael Lynche on 'American Idol' (FOC)

8. Andrew Garcia: “Genie In a Bottle” by Christina Aguilera – First off, what the hell was up with this song choice? So not suitable for Garcia or his voice. We’re rather disappointed because Garcia was kind of growing on us until this performance. It was bland, boring and lacked any personal touch to make it stand out.

7. Todrick Hall: “Somebody to Love” by Queen – First off, we just have to say, if you are going to dare to do a Queen song, you better damn well rock it hard. Although it wasn’t too terrible by the end, the beginning was so rough it made us cringe. Regardless, it was a mediocre performance at best and messy all the way through. Plenty of folks will probably disagree, but we’re tired of Hall and ready for him to go.

6. Aaron Kelly: “I’m Already There” by Lonestar - Sure, he’s cute, but would he really be star material without his looks? We don’t think so and this performance just reinforces that belief. Not a great song choice at all for Kelly and we agree with Kara DioGuardi that it didn’t fit his age.

5. Lee Dewyze: “Fireflies” by Owl City – Dewyze has a decent voice but it’s the same old same old every damn week. Dewyze needs to break out of his shell and really “wow” folks with something new, unique and powerful – or he’s a goner.

4. Casey James: “You’ll Think of Me” by Keith Urban – If James’ intention was to put the audience to sleep, he nearly succeeded with us. James needs to really connect with the audience, dig for better song choices and put some real power into his performances.

3. Alex Lambert: “Trouble” by Ray LaMontagne – Where’s the passion boys? That’s what we’re asking of most of the male contestants this year and Alex Lambert in particular. The song wasn’t terrible, but it lacked any real emotional oomph. Lambert also still just gives off this vibe of being entirely uncomfortable on the stage. Boy needs to chill out and get in love with the music. Then he might actually be a real contender.

2. Tim Urban: “Hallelujah” by Jeff Buckley – This is one of our all time favorite songs, so we have very high standards when it comes to anyone doing a cover of it. Urban certainly couldn’t touch the original version of the song, but it wasn’t all that bad. Certainly we think it was Urban’s best performance of the season so far.

1. Michael Lynche: “This Woman’s Work” by Maxwell - There is no doubt Michael Lynche blew it out of the water with this Maxwell cover of Kate Bush‘s song. It was absolutely a fabulous song choice for Big Mike’s big voice and we agree with Ellen DeGeneres that Lynche’s performance was entirely “beautiful”. Although we didn’t quite turn on the waterworks like Kara, we did feel a bit misty-eyed watching Lynche work it. We are so glad Michael Lynche wasn’t eliminated from the show as all those rumors claimed he was. He’s our definite favorite of the guys so far this season.

>> Previously:  Ranking American Idol’s Top 8 Women

Crystal Bowersox on 'American Idol' (FOX)

Thankfully, last night’s performances from the top eight women of this season’s American Idol were relatively easy on the ears for the most part. Several of the ladies were actually pretty damned fabulous. Which we are thankful for, because a handful of them were boring at best and cringe-worthy at worst. Let’s just say we were awfully tempted to fast-forward through several performances after hearing just a couple of notes.

So how did the American Idol top eight women do last night? Well, here’s our ranking of the performances from the evening.

8. Paige Miles: “Smile” by Charlie Chaplin – We are so ready for this girl to go! She can’t stay on pitch to save her life, her stage presence is boring as hell and she most definitively does NOT have the ‘it’ factor. We’re hoping this is the last time we’ll have to watch her in action.

7. Katelyn Epperly: “I Fell the Earth Move” by Carole King – Boring, flat and terrible song choice for her voice. It’s not that she’s a terrible singer, but she seems to have absolutely no clue what to do with her voice. Plus, she never really looks comfortable on stage and we tend to forget her the moment she walks off screen.

6. Katie Stevens: “Breakaway” by Kelly Clarkson – Not only was the song rough, Stevens just wasn’t connecting with it. When you know what this song sounds like when Clarkson belts it out, Stevens comes across as a terribly cheap rip-off. We did rate her a little better than we would have just because she actually went for a song that should have suited her voice better – if she could have pulled it off.

5. Lacey Brown: “The Story” by Brandi Carlile – We kind of like Lacey Brown but we don’t agree with the judges that this performance was relatively good for her. When you compare her against some of the stronger girls in the competition, she just comes across as a decent karaoke singer you enjoy after having far too many drinks.

4. Didi Benami: “Rhiannon” by Fleetwood Mac – We liked the song choice here, especially since Benami doesn’t really sound much like Stevie Nicks, so it made the song feel more original and unique. There were certainly some weak spots though and she still doesn’t quite own the stage, but we feel she’s got potential.

3. Lilly Scott: “I Fall to Pieces” by Patsy Cline – It was quite hard to rank the last three ladies because they are seriously all way above the rest of the pack. We know how hard Patsy Cline is to sing and Scott did quite a hot job of it. It was a bit quirky here and there and not quite the perfect song for her voice, but it was still far and away a better performance than most of the other ladies.

2. Siobhan Magnus: “House of the Rising Sun” by the Animals – We almost ranked Magnus at number one for this great song choice, but she did have a bit of wobble at one point. The song suited her voice nicely though and we think this may have been one of Magnus’ best performances yet. We could see big things for this girl.

1. Crystal Bowersox: “Give Me One Reason” by Tracy Chapman – Bowersox almost didn’t make our number one spot, but that was only because we expect so much of her. Her rendition of Chapman’s classic song was terrific, but it wasn’t risky. There was virtually no chance Bowersox wasn’t going to do a fabulous job with this kind of material. Still, her voice is definitely one of the strongest of the ladies and she always looks like she belongs on a stage like nobody else.

>> Previously:  American Idol Top 10 Women – Best and Worst

Kara DioGuardi and Katy Perry on 'American Idol' (Fox)

The catfight erupted after Kara DioGuardi gushed wildly over the audition of American Idol wannabe Chris Golightly, who spilled a sad story of his tough childhood to host Ryan Seacrest before he went before the judges. “Chris, you are one of my favorites today, if not my favorite,” DioGuardi said. “You’re the kind of kid who has just enough talent and just enough of a story and pain and stuff that you’ve gone through in your life to really connect with it, and I think you’re only going to get better.”

Barely managing not to roll her eyes, singer Katy Perry smacked back at DioGuardi’s comments, saying: “This is not a Lifetime movie, sweetheart… You have to have talent.” Ouch!

The tension between Katy Perry and Kara DioGuardi only got worse from there. At one point DioGuardi started singing Perry’s “I Kissed a Girl” blockbuster hit. Perry responded by interrupting her, saying: “Please stop before I throw my Coke in your face!”

Poor DioGuardi was obviously nursing some hurt feelings over the back and forth with Perry. “We used to be friends,” she whined to the cameras. “We were, like, cool.”

Well, Perry may have been a bit harsh, but we kind of see her point of view. Lavishing praise on a hardly better-than-average singer because he has a sad story and then belting out Perry’s song to her face like she can do it better kind of deserves a bit of smack down in our humble opinion.

>> Previously:  Is American Idol Pants on the Ground Hit a Rip-Off?

Every year when American Idol fires up for the new season, we’re treated with delusional people who’ll try anything to get the judges’ attention…and a ticket to Hollywood. This year, with wildly talented new judge Kara DioGuardi, was no different. Among the many costumes worn by Phoenix wannabes was the tiny bikini worn by “model” Katrina Darrell.

Katrina got a pre-package showing her skanking around in hooker-heels and her bikini, and chasing a clearly shaken Ryan Seacrest, trying to get him to make out with her. Sounds like a recipe for a quick shutdown, no? Well, no. Simon and Randy’s testosterone got the best of them when Katrina got up for her audition. Katrina sang “Vision Of Love” and it was meh. Judge Kara effortlessly proceeded to show Katrina how it’s DONE. Kara and Paula were both unimpressed with Katrina’s chops.

Then…Katrina got SASSY with Kara and said Kara’s version wasn’t any better! Paula came to Kara’s rescue, and usually that kind of disrespect results in a quick ticket OUT. But…there were men in the room, and Katrina got her trip to Hollywood. Katrina’s a queen bi-yotch, and should be quite amusing when she’s up against the contestants with actual talent. At least one guy on the show wasn’t enamored of the stuck-up singer…Ryan looked gayer than usual trying to run away from Katrina, to the tune of “I Kissed A Girl”! Good times! Check it out below!

And here’s the entire American Idol Season 8 Premiere episode from Phoenix, in case you missed it! (Just X out of the popup page when you click play.)