Ranking American Idol’s Top 8 Women

We are admitted American Idol addicts, even after years of listening to some of the worst singing we’ve ever had the horror to hear. Even though sometimes we desperately think we need therapy to break this American Idol addiction, we can’t help but keep watching week after week.

Crystal Bowersox on 'American Idol' (FOX)
Crystal Bowersox on 'American Idol' (FOX)

Thankfully, last night’s performances from the top eight women of this season’s American Idol were relatively easy on the ears for the most part. Several of the ladies were actually pretty damned fabulous. Which we are thankful for, because a handful of them were boring at best and cringe-worthy at worst. Let’s just say we were awfully tempted to fast-forward through several performances after hearing just a couple of notes.

So how did the American Idol top eight women do last night? Well, here’s our ranking of the performances from the evening.

8. Paige Miles: “Smile” by Charlie Chaplin – We are so ready for this girl to go! She can’t stay on pitch to save her life, her stage presence is boring as hell and she most definitively does NOT have the ‘it’ factor. We’re hoping this is the last time we’ll have to watch her in action.

7. Katelyn Epperly: “I Fell the Earth Move” by Carole King – Boring, flat and terrible song choice for her voice. It’s not that she’s a terrible singer, but she seems to have absolutely no clue what to do with her voice. Plus, she never really looks comfortable on stage and we tend to forget her the moment she walks off screen.

6. Katie Stevens: “Breakaway” by Kelly Clarkson – Not only was the song rough, Stevens just wasn’t connecting with it. When you know what this song sounds like when Clarkson belts it out, Stevens comes across as a terribly cheap rip-off. We did rate her a little better than we would have just because she actually went for a song that should have suited her voice better – if she could have pulled it off.

5. Lacey Brown: “The Story” by Brandi Carlile – We kind of like Lacey Brown but we don’t agree with the judges that this performance was relatively good for her. When you compare her against some of the stronger girls in the competition, she just comes across as a decent karaoke singer you enjoy after having far too many drinks.

4. Didi Benami: “Rhiannon” by Fleetwood Mac – We liked the song choice here, especially since Benami doesn’t really sound much like Stevie Nicks, so it made the song feel more original and unique. There were certainly some weak spots though and she still doesn’t quite own the stage, but we feel she’s got potential.

3. Lilly Scott: “I Fall to Pieces” by Patsy Cline – It was quite hard to rank the last three ladies because they are seriously all way above the rest of the pack. We know how hard Patsy Cline is to sing and Scott did quite a hot job of it. It was a bit quirky here and there and not quite the perfect song for her voice, but it was still far and away a better performance than most of the other ladies.

2. Siobhan Magnus: “House of the Rising Sun” by the Animals – We almost ranked Magnus at number one for this great song choice, but she did have a bit of wobble at one point. The song suited her voice nicely though and we think this may have been one of Magnus’ best performances yet. We could see big things for this girl.

1. Crystal Bowersox: “Give Me One Reason” by Tracy Chapman – Bowersox almost didn’t make our number one spot, but that was only because we expect so much of her. Her rendition of Chapman’s classic song was terrific, but it wasn’t risky. There was virtually no chance Bowersox wasn’t going to do a fabulous job with this kind of material. Still, her voice is definitely one of the strongest of the ladies and she always looks like she belongs on a stage like nobody else.

>> Previously:  American Idol Top 10 Women – Best and Worst

Katy Perry Slams Kara DioGuardi at American Idol Audition

American Idol guest judge Katy Perry showed her snarky side during last night’s audition round in Los Angeles when she and judge Kara DioGuardi exchanged a few less than polite words. Perry did warn everyone before auditions kicked off that she’s “always been brutally honest,” but it was DioGuardi on the receiving end of her harshest jabs, not the hopeful contestants.

Kara DioGuardi and Katy Perry on 'American Idol' (Fox)
Kara DioGuardi and Katy Perry on 'American Idol' (Fox)

The catfight erupted after Kara DioGuardi gushed wildly over the audition of American Idol wannabe Chris Golightly, who spilled a sad story of his tough childhood to host Ryan Seacrest before he went before the judges. “Chris, you are one of my favorites today, if not my favorite,” DioGuardi said. “You’re the kind of kid who has just enough talent and just enough of a story and pain and stuff that you’ve gone through in your life to really connect with it, and I think you’re only going to get better.”

Barely managing not to roll her eyes, singer Katy Perry smacked back at DioGuardi’s comments, saying: “This is not a Lifetime movie, sweetheart… You have to have talent.” Ouch!

The tension between Katy Perry and Kara DioGuardi only got worse from there. At one point DioGuardi started singing Perry’s “I Kissed a Girl” blockbuster hit. Perry responded by interrupting her, saying: “Please stop before I throw my Coke in your face!”

Poor DioGuardi was obviously nursing some hurt feelings over the back and forth with Perry. “We used to be friends,” she whined to the cameras. “We were, like, cool.”

Well, Perry may have been a bit harsh, but we kind of see her point of view. Lavishing praise on a hardly better-than-average singer because he has a sad story and then belting out Perry’s song to her face like she can do it better kind of deserves a bit of smack down in our humble opinion.

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American Idol Bikini Girl Katrina Darrell Skanks Her Way Into Hollywood

UPDATE: And the skank-ho goes home! Smell ya, bikini girl.

Every year when American Idol fires up for the new season, we’re treated with delusional people who’ll try anything to get the judges’ attention…and a ticket to Hollywood. This year, with wildly talented new judge Kara DioGuardi, was no different. Among the many costumes worn by Phoenix wannabes was the tiny bikini worn by “model” Katrina Darrell.

Katrina got a pre-package showing her skanking around in hooker-heels and her bikini, and chasing a clearly shaken Ryan Seacrest, trying to get him to make out with her. Sounds like a recipe for a quick shutdown, no? Well, no. Simon and Randy’s testosterone got the best of them when Katrina got up for her audition. Katrina sang “Vision Of Love” and it was meh. Judge Kara effortlessly proceeded to show Katrina how it’s DONE. Kara and Paula were both unimpressed with Katrina’s chops.

Then…Katrina got SASSY with Kara and said Kara’s version wasn’t any better! Paula came to Kara’s rescue, and usually that kind of disrespect results in a quick ticket OUT. But…there were men in the room, and Katrina got her trip to Hollywood. Katrina’s a queen bi-yotch, and should be quite amusing when she’s up against the contestants with actual talent. At least one guy on the show wasn’t enamored of the stuck-up singer…Ryan looked gayer than usual trying to run away from Katrina, to the tune of “I Kissed A Girl”! Good times! Check it out below!

And here’s the entire American Idol Season 8 Premiere episode from Phoenix, in case you missed it! (Just X out of the popup page when you click play.)