KLC Is Comin’ At Ya, Doesn’t Care If You Care

American Idol’s seventh place finisher, Snarkista’s NEMESIS country singer Kristy Lee Cook, is back with Arista Nashville, the same label that signed and then dropped her in 1999. KLC punked Snarkista week after week, and made it into the Idol Top 10! Arista, in conjunction with Idol’s arm 19 Recordings, plans to release KLC’s first single “15 Minutes of Shame” on August 11th. An album is scheduled to drop this fall. The fab Brett James will produce, he co-wrote Carrie Underwood’s “Jesus, Take the Wheel.”

Snarkista knows you’re wondering why would 19 and Arista toss such a deal to a seventh place finisher when season 6 runner-up Blake Lewis was dropped from his contract? Idol’s figured out that contestants seem to do better with country music. Two words: Carrie Underwood. Her massive success is just too hard to resist for Idol brass. Kellie Pickler has had a modicum of success as well, although nothing near what superstar Carrie has enjoyed. KLC was the only country option out of this year’s Top 10, so Idol’s gonna go back to the well despite her mediocre finish.

KLC is no Carrie, although she might be a Kellie. If her release is basically background music for 4th of July fireworks, Snarkista predicts a major bomb. Brett James will certainly give KLC a good shot at country airplay, which is CRITICAL to any type of successful showing. Country programmers are notoriously hard to crack, but KLC’s Idol exposure should give her a leg up with them. “Fifteen Minutes Of Shame” IS a provocative title, and may blow up Kristy’s squeaky-clean image. Advice for Brett: DON’T put a remake of “God Bless The USA” on the release, or KLC will be sitting in the discount bin. No matter what you think of the genre, country’s a LOT cooler than that shizz.

Fantasia Gets The Ax

Fantasia Barrino has had her fair share of music business shake-ups, surviving mergers and the recent repositioning of her mentor Clive Davis, who signed her to J Records. Now, Fantasia has been dropped from Idol arm 19 Management.

The reason for the split, according to sources, is that age-old saw “creative differences.” Fantasia’s albums HAVE done pretty well. Her debut, Free Yourself, sold almost 2 million copies. Still, Snarkista thinks it probably has something to do with THIS kind of creative difference.

>> Latest: ‘American Idol’ Winner Fantasia Barrino Steals Married Man

Did Simon’s Comments on Idol Hurt David Cook? Vote!

I had PIMP JUICE all over me last night, courtesy of Simon Cowell. American Idol’s David Cook vs. David Archuleta final showdown featured great performances from both Davids. The boxing format, however, was incredibly lame, NIGEL.

Simon was clearly there to laud all over Archie and crap all over Cook. Do you think his harshness hurt David Cook’s chances with the voters? Lots of people made up their minds before last night. Or, are you a conspiracy theorist who thinks Simon was using double top-secret reverse psychology on America so the fans would SAVE David Cook? Vote and let us know!

Simon Cowell Is A Giant Purple Pimp

Holy crap. American Idol’s finale just ended, the long awaited David Cook v David Archuleta matchup. Idol pulled Andrew Lloyd Weber back out of the crypt, and he and 200 year old Clive Davis served as mentors to the Davids. David Cook sang three different songs well. Lil Archie sang 3 ballads, one of which was “Imagine”. Again.

If Randy says “Dude you could sing the phonebook, you’re so good” ONE MORE TIME I will cease watching Idol forever. Seriously dawg, you need some new material ASAP. Paula was, well- Paula, and Simon has never pimped Archie harder. We’re talking downtown, DIRTY pimping! Any lack of transparency on the judges’ part was gone tonight, as it was a complete Archuleta coronation-fest. GAK!

Numbers for David COOK are: 1-866-IDOLS01, 03, and 05, or text “vote” to 5701.

Photoshop Awards: American Idol Edition

American Idol Season 7 TourHere’s the first American Idol Season 7 tour poster I’ve seen, (click to enlarge) and I’m wondering why they all look like they floated in from outer space! Was it not possible to get them all in the room at the same time? Surely there’s something in those 19E contracts that mandates attendance at all shoots!

I’m assuming Carly’s jacket has sleeves, but if not, at least they’ve got the tats covered. Not sure why wardrobe chose to put black stilletos on Kristy Lee; with the white and gold theme they make her feet stick out like giant skis. David Cook has such mad skills that he’s trying to point out this faux-pas in the pic. Is there no END to his talent?! Ramiele’s hair looks like a melted conehead, and Archie must be looking at daddy; Brooke looks sick to her stomach, and Poor Michael Johns is scooted in like an afterthought. Obviously SOMEONE quit their graphics education at Photoshop 101! Cut and paste anyone?