Amy Winehouse’s Songs Rejected By Her Label


Amy Winehouse has started recording her third studio album, but her label, Island/Universal Records, reportedly have rejected her new songs, according to The Sun.

“The lyrics are very dark indeed. Everyone understands that Amy is an artist and she must be true to her instincts,” the source further explains to the publication. “In the past, she’s written frequently about broken hearts and boyfriends, but this time round she’s delving into harrowing terrain.”

Because she spent the past few months terrorizing the peaceful island of St. Lucia, Wino has “ditched her trademark vintage soul sound and is now heavily influenced by reggae.” The source adds, “Her bosses don’t think it’s a wise move to change her style so sharply and have told her that.
Amy’s FORGOTTEN her trademark style, fools! She can’t remember what she did yesterday! Maybe Wino’s label should try some Aricept to see if they can jog her memory. Hey, it works for Snarkista’s granny!

Amy Winehouse Charged With Assault


Amy Winehouse has been charged with assault with regards to an incident that took place last September. Wino checked into a police station today and was charged with “common assault,” according to BBC News.

Wino is accused of hitting a fan during the End of Summer Ball held in London’s Berkeley Square on September 25th. She will appear on the charge at the City of Westminster Magistrates’ Court on March 17.

Amy was trashed as usual at the festival, and certainly doesn’t remember anything connected with it. “Did you hit the fan, Amy?” “Er, me s*** is always hittin’ the fan, guvnah. You’ll ‘ave ta be a bit more specific.”

The ball was Amy’s goddaughter’s “singing debut” and Amy ruined the whole thing for the poor kid. The Ball’s dress code was formal…Wino showed up in ratty shorts and, of course, ballet slippers. She head-butted a fan in her crazed haze, and “sang” with her goddaughter while she hung all over the poor little cutie.

Meanwhile, Amy was out partying in London for the first time since she left the extremely grateful island of St. Lucia.