Dancing With the Stars Cast and Pairings Announced

The new season 11 Dancing with the Stars cast and pairings were announced Tuesday on Good Morning America. As usual, the cast ranges from the mundane to the bizarre and we’re left wildly anticipating what kind of crazy drama we’ll be seeing this season on DWTS.

DANCING WITH THE STARS season 11 cast (ABC)
DANCING WITH THE STARS season 11 cast (ABC)

Audrina Patridge & Tony Dovolani: We can’t help but wonder if Audrina might turn out to be the Kate Gosselin of this season of DWTS. Oh the horror!

Brandy & Maksim Chmerkovskiy: We love Maxim and we’ve got the feeling Brandy can shake it. So we’re very interested to see how this pairing is going to pan out.

David Hasselhoff & Kym Johnson: Kym, we’re sorry. Just, yeah, we’re sorry.

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Heidi And Spencer Get Married (Again)

heidi-and-spencer-marry-again
Those crazy famewhores lovebirds Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt got married again on Saturday. They first “eloped” to Mexico months ago because photo ops had been slow. Apparently, that marriage wasn’t quite legal, and Heidi’s mother had a stroke. She knows the mad, brainwashing power that Spencer has over Heidi…although with Heidi’s brain, this is not a difficult undertaking.

E! reports that the Hills duo were joined at Westminster Presbyterian Church, attended by over 200 of their closest friends, family, and lots of their best celeb pals, including the insufferable Perez Hilton, music producer David Foster, along with Hills costars Brody Jenner, Frankie Delgado, Taylor Mosher, Audrina Patridge, Justin Bobby, Lo Bosworth and Laguna Beach alum Kristin Cavallari. Even frenemy Lauren Conrad had a change of heart and attended the festivities, but made a quick exit from the church following the ceremony.

The wedding party was comprised of Heidi’s sister and sometimes Hills star Holly Montag, as well as Spencer’s always-instigating sis, Stephanie Pratt, both dressed in matching floor-length, yellow, silk chiffon gowns, while the Spencer was joined by the incredible…two nonceleb friends.

Montard was decked out head to toe in nearly $1 million worth of Neil Lane jewels and a gorgeous, flowy, white, strapless gown, custom designed by Monique Lhuiller. Pratt and his groomsmen all wore Ermenegildo Zegna suits. Heidi’s father walked her down the aisle following Pratt’s niece Ava, the flower girl.

Afterward guests gathered outside Westminster Presbyterian to toss yellow rose petals on the newlyweds, who did what always comes naturally to Speidi- playing it up and kissing for the crowd. Heidi then gathered her girlfriends to toss the bouquet, only to have Cavallari, rumored to be replacing Lauren Conrad on The Hills next season, jump up and make the catch.

The office pool is now open on how long this one’s gonna last, and, more importantly…how many staged photo-ops will be raining down on the media from the wedding! Good times.

Heidi Montag And Spencer Pratt’s Drunken Marriage

US magazine already bought and published pictures of Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt’s fake, illegal romantic marriage in Mexico. Last night’s episode of “The Hills”, however, highlighted the true ickyness of the whole debacle.

Scuzzy Spencer flew Montard to Cabo San Lucas, got her drunk on tequila and rushed her to a church. The next morning she could sort of remember how drunk she was but couldn’t remember the ceremony at ALL. No wonder her mom is pissed! It was the marital equivalent of a date rape drugging.

Spencer has always tried to take Heidi away from “bad influences”, namely her mother, his sister, her ex-best friend, basically the entire world, because they all know the truth… Spencer is the douchiest person on earth. He’s the worst person she could possibly marry.

The episode showed the couple in Mexico, by themselves, (except for the camera crew and production team) so they could have their own wedding alone. “It’s our secret marriage,” Spencer told her (and everyone watching at home.)

The teaser for next week’s finale shows the idiots having to go to a U.S. courthouse to actually GET a marriage license, and face the anger of Heidi’s mother, whom Spencer further infuriates by calling her “mom.” It may be tempting to pity Heidi, but she’s willingly been under Spencer’s spell despite everyone in her universe telling her what a massive mistake he is. Fame, it seems, is more important than good sense. Snarkista gives the marriage a year, unless Spencer knocks Heidi up. If that happens, there won’t be a divorce until the tabloid checks are cashed!


Watch Hills Speidi clip in Celebrity Videos  |  View More Free Videos Online at Veoh.com

The Hills: MTV’s Sneak Peak

MTV’s released the trailer for “The Hills”. Snarkista isn’t sure if it is clips of plotlines that will really be developed- or the best parts of the season crammed into one trailer. Last season was pretty much a snoozer, and the hint here that the insufferable Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt may break up is just ridiculous! Those two are worth way more together than they are apart, and they aren’t through riding the money train yet. There will be WAY more posed pics and heinous songs from Heidi to endure before the douche-duo parts ways. Also, to Snarkista’s dismay, Spencer seems to be growing something on his face.

Snark Sightings

Francis Bean Cobain’s A Rolling Stone: Celebitchy

The View’s Sherri Shepherd’s Public Confessions: Nina Monroe Says

Jonas Brothers Are Moving To Texas! Bitten And Bound

Jude Law Gets A Little Help: Ten Gossip

Britney Lets Little Sean Play With Bad Toys: Backseat Cuddler

Chriss Angel’s Gonna Try Not To Fry: Behind Blondie Park

Audrina Patridge Needs A Lift: Mom Pop Son

Jodie Marsh Could Knock You Out: Newstoob

Incubus Is Gettin’ Schooled: Gravy And Biscuits

All About Crack: Janelle

Snark Sightings

Audrina Patridge likes Blue-Light Specials: Hollywood Backwash

Vanessa (Mrs. Kobe) Bryant: Still A Bitch- Babble

Mickey Rourke’s A Bottom Feeder: D-Listed

Billy Ray Cyrus is PISSED! PopOnThePop

Doctors to Wino: Quit Or Die- The Sun

No “New Kids With Uncle Donnie” for Mark Wahlberg’s Kids: The Bosh

Naomi Campbell’s Hair Is Quitting: Celeb Dirty Laundry

Billy Bob Thornton Wants His High-School Angie Back: HideNSeek