Told Ya So…Paris And Benji Madden SPLIT!

Paris Hilton’s rep has confirmed that Paris and her boyfriend of 9 months, Benji Madden, are SPLITSVILLE! “Even though they are still in love, they felt it would be better to just be friends,” a source close to Hilton, 27, told US magazine. Yeah, this explains a lot about why Paris was all over hunky Stavros Niarchos this past weekend. Also, Snarkista’s not buying the “still in love” part.

Apparently, Benji’s dislike for Paris’s friends was behind the split. Ya think? The two definitely had COMPLETELY different styles. And Paris has COMPLETELY insufferable friends.

“Benji was overprotective and controlling. He doesn’t get along with any of her friends,” the source tells Us. “Friends thought Paris had changed since being with Benji and she wants to be herself again.”
Translation: Wonky wants to be a full time skank again.

“Paris was fed up with Benji always telling her what to do and bossing her around. She couldn’t take his overbearing ways anymore. It was stressing her out. He can be very aggressive and he was just too much trouble.”

Because there is only room for ONE high maintenance Bi-yotch in any couple, and Paris has YEARS of practice on Benji. Paris is sticking to the tried and true rule of vapid relationships: be sure and break up before the holidays. Whew! Ya barely made it, Wonky!

Paris Hilton Is Not Blind

Paris Hilton may have that fug wonk eye, but the chick is not blind. Proof? This weekend La Hilton was in Miami at the Fountainbleau hotel where she hung out with hunky ex-boyfriend Stavros Niachros. They hit up club Mokai on Saturday night, and Paris’ boyfriend Benji “Pudge” Madden was NOT around. Pudge was in New York with his bro Joel helping MTV kiss TRL goodbye for good.

Star magazine said that Paris arrived at the nightclub at 2:30am after partying at the Fountainbleau hotel all night, following the Victoria’s Secret fashion show. A snoop (probably the dude with the drink who looks like “uh-oh, girl, I’m dropping a dime on YOU tonight”) told the rag that:

“Paris and Stavros were all over each other. They were at the same table for about an hour and then they left together. It didn’t seem like Benji was on her mind at all!”

Uh, duh! Take a good look at Stavros there, with his unbuttoned shirt. Yeah, it’s cheesy, but good grief he is easy on the eyes. Benji, however is not.

Benji’s been rumored to have cheated on Wonky at least twice already, so perhaps she’s returning the favor. C’mon, look at her. She is SO a freakin’ happy not to be looking at Benji.

Paris Hilton, Comic Book Superhero?

MTV is reporting that Stan Lee is teaming up with Paris Hilton to turn her into his next superhero character. Whaaaa? Quoth La Hilton:

We’re developing that right now and just going over scripts and drawing my character. I fight crime. It’s not like your typical superhero, It’s me basically as a superhero, so kind of using makeup and compacts as weapons. It’s kind of like a spoof on a superhero.

Stan! You’re a LEGEND! You created Spider-Man, the Fantastic Four, the X-Men, Iron Man, the Hulk, Thor, Daredevil, Dr. Strange, and many other awesome characters. Snarkista knows you’re getting on up there age-wise, so maybe Paris is trying to pull an Anna Nicole Smith on you. Hide the checkbook! And if you DO make Paris a spooferhero, name her Supervain or Stuporgirl or The Wonky. Benji Madden could be The Pudge. Pretty please?