Now HERE’s a story you can sink your teeth into! Unlike the Montauk monster, Chupbacabra or Bigfoot the hoaxer…Goblin Shark is for realz! Check out his freaky alien jaw moves! Goblin Shark’s favorite treat is squid, and one was recently spotted off the California coast. Usually Gobby hangs out in Australia and Japan, but he must have been needin’ himself some Cali. Gobby doesn’t fool with low quality, grainy footage or rubber Halloween suits. That shizz is WAY beneath him!
All of the hoopla last week over the discovery of a Bigfoot in Northern Georgia turned out to be a big ole hoax. Shocker! The two Georgia dudes who “discovered” Bigfoot, Matthew Whitton and Rick Dyer, pulled a fast one over on Tom Biscardi…who is described by some as a “Las Vegas con man”. Biscardi’s a Bigfoot hoaxer from way back, and runs the website searchingforbigfoot.com (Warning: unintentionally hilarious!)
Tom paid an “undisclosed sum” to Matthew and Rick for their Bigfoot corpse and the privilege of holding the flop press conference last Friday. At the same time, Biscardi sent self-described “Sasquatch detective” AND host of “Squatchdetective Radio”, Steve Kulls, back to Georgia to check out the body. Sadly, Fox News reports that Steve did not have good news for Tom.
Basically, Steve thawed out the frozen “corpse”, and discovered that yes, it WAS a Halloween costume! Unfortunately for Tom Biscardi, Matthew and Rick are not answering the phone. They’ve gone AWOL with the cash! Snarkista thought something smelled in this whole deal. Asked for comment on Officer Whitton, Clayton County, Ga., Chief of Police Jeffrey Turner, corrected FoxNews.com.
“You mean ex-officer Whitton. As soon as we saw it was a hoax, I filed the paperwork to terminate his employment. For someone to do a complete three-sixty like that, I can’t explain it.”
Don’t believe Matthew did a complete 360, Chief Redneck. Re-do the math. As for Biscardi, this couldn’t happen to a nicer guy! Heartbreak clip below.
UPDATE: VIDEO!!!!!!!!!!The press conference held by the guys who say they discovered a Bigfoot in Northern Georgia is about to begin. Okay. Redneck Georgia dude is saying at first he didn’t believe, and is wearing a Bigfoot trucker hat. He isn’t gonna reveal the location…hmmm. To protect the species. Yeah. Now he’s pissed off Shep Smith on Fox cuz they don’t have the body with them. Great PR move!!! Where’s RickMat? Now Snarkista’s gonna have to do her OWN Bigfoot hunt for someone who isn’t pissed on TV. Atlanta’s WSB radio is broadcasting some on the news, they stream live. WSB’s reporter just said these incredible details: Bigfoot was found by a stream. They took some pictures and video. Bigfoot is in a safe-house right now. Heh. Screw WSB, now some dude is telling Snarkista how to put her mother-in-law in a retirement home in India. Wait a minute… maybe that IS worth a listen!
Here’s a video clip from the Bigfoot press conference! Details are below the video, as well as a link to the ENTIRE 45 minute press conference video.
The link to the ENTIRE 45 minute press conference is HERE.
Bigfoot dude Rick Dyer says:
“we’re not Bigfoot hunters originally, but we are now the best Bigfoot trackers in the world.”
Bigfoot dude Matt says he and his business partner Rick, wanted to get away for awhile so they went to the woods of North Georgia. He says the pair went deep into the woods, far off the main road, where they stumbled upon the creature. From there Matt waited with it, while Rick went and got a truck where they moved it out. While they were moving the body away from its location, they say three other Bigfoots were “paralleling” them as they moved out.
Matt is an officer on medical leave from the Clayton County Police Department, and Rick is a former corrections officer. The pair hope to win over skeptics when they present DNA, additional pictures and results from an autopsy to be performed next week. They also hope they make ASSLOADS of money.
Snarkista thinks they’re gonna need more than what they put out today…’cuz it was pretty lame. Well-played, though, in managing to get most of the media to show up- and especially well-played in hoaxing CNN into live streaming the sideshow!
The “Big Foot Field Researchers Organization” (!) says THIS about the whole story:
The “Georgia Bigfoot Body” story is a hoax, started by two fellows in Georgia. The “body” is a widely available Halloween costume stuffed into a large cooler, with some animal entrails laid on top. This ongoing hoax is now being orchestrated by a notorious Las Vegas con-man named Carmine Thomas Biscardi.
Hmmm. Something smells. And Snarkista’s pretty sure it’s not Bigfoot! One thing’s for sure…it looks like there’s a
cat bigfoot fight brewing! So, are YOU a believer? Or, is Bigfoot totally gonna be your Halloween costume this year?!
Two California “researchers” and two dudes in Northern Georgia named Matthew Whitton and Rick Dyer say they’ve got a dead Bigfoot on ice, and are gonna hold a press conference on Friday to reveal all. First of all, Snarkista is a little freaked ‘cuz Northern Georgia is not THAT far away from Nashville! Not that Bigfoot would be into music, but she’s just saying!
These guys are serious because they’ve formed a Bigfoot LLC., which means they have to file tax returns! The guys say they have DNA and a lot of other data. And, presumably the body in the freezer they have pictured here. The one they’ve named RickMat. (Rick + Matthew= Bigfoot). Their press conference is reportedly scheduled for Friday, August 15th at 12 noon P.T.
Their website, Searchingforbigfoot.com says the following about the freaky beast:
* It is male.
* It has reddish hair and blackish-grey eyes.
* It has two arms and two legs, and five fingers on each hand and five toes on each foot.
* The feet are flat and similar to human feet.
* The creature is seven feet seven inches tall.
* It weighs over five hundred pounds.
* The creature looks like it is part human and part ape-like.
* Its footprint is sixteen and three-quarters inches long and five and three-quarters inches wide at the heel.
* From the palm of the hand to the tip of the middle finger, its hands are eleven and three-quarters inches long and six and one-quarter inches wide.
* The creatures walk upright. (Several of them were sighted on the same day that the body was found.)
* The teeth are more human-like than ape-like.
* DNA tests are currently being done and the current DNA and photo evidence will be presented at the press conference on Friday, August 15th.
Have they considered that this may just be a relative of Christina Aguilera’s husband Jordan? ‘Cuz Snarkista just took Snarkista Jr. to college even CLOSER to Northern Georgia. Like she didn’t have ENOUGH to worry about. Damn you, Bigfoot!