brody jenner – Snark Food

Words Will Never Hurt When Avril and Brody Fight

You know the saying: “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me”? Which is, of course, not true but in the case of Avril Lavigne and boyfriend Brody Jenner, it seems like they’re trying to prove the “sticks and stones” part is true.

The couple apparently got into a bar brawl, though it’s unclear what exactly happened. According to reports given to E! News, things got ugly when Lavigne got into it with another woman and Jenner tried to break it up. Punches were thrown, Jenner apparently got a bottle to the face and had to be taken to the hospital.

Jenner was released with stitches and prior to the event had tweeted:Â “Having the best night with the love of my life @AvrilLavigne so happy right now!! .. #Movember CRUSH!! haha”. Which he later updated to say:Â Â “Interesting Saturday night… Just got of the hospital with a new scar on my face.. Charges/chargers!!!”

The two may be a little worse for the wear, but still appear to be an item.

The Hill’s Brody Jenner and Jayde Nicole Break Up

The Hills star Brody Jenner and former Playboy model girlfriend Jayde Nicole have called it quits on their romance. Various sources are reporting Brody Jenner and Jayde Nicole have ended their 15-month relationship.

Former Playboy Playmate Jayde Nicole seems to have referenced the break-up with Brody Jenner on her Twitter feed Friday. “‘Sometimes when you truly love someone you have to let them go…'” Nicole Tweeted. “I never really understood that quote until now.”

Jayde Nicole reportedly isn’t all that heartbroken over the end of her romance with Brody Jenner. The model reportedly “celebrated the breakup” by partying friends at several nightclubs and flirting with guys, according to a report by UsMagazine.com.

Season five of The Hills often showed Jenner and Nicole fighting about their relationship. Nicole appeared quite annoyed especially with Jenner’s ongoing alleged flirtations with ex-girlfriend Kristin Cavallari. All three have reportedly signed on for the sixth season of The Hills, so fans can probably expect to see some major fireworks on the new season next year!

>> Previously:Â The Hills Star Brody Jenner Tased in Fight With Joe Francis

Heidi And Spencer Get Married (Again)

Those crazy ~~famewhores~~ lovebirds Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt got married again on Saturday. They first “eloped” to Mexico months ago because photo ops had been slow. Apparently, that marriage wasn’t quite legal, and Heidi’s mother had a stroke. She knows the mad, brainwashing power that Spencer has over Heidi…although with Heidi’s brain, this is not a difficult undertaking.

E! reports that the Hills duo were joined at Westminster Presbyterian Church, attended by over 200 of their closest friends, family, and lots of their best celeb pals, including the insufferable Perez Hilton, music producer David Foster, along with Hills costars Brody Jenner, Frankie Delgado, Taylor Mosher, Audrina Patridge, Justin Bobby, Lo Bosworth and Laguna Beach alum Kristin Cavallari. Even frenemy Lauren Conrad had a change of heart and attended the festivities, but made a quick exit from the church following the ceremony.

The wedding party was comprised of Heidi’s sister and sometimes Hills star Holly Montag, as well as Spencer’s always-instigating sis, Stephanie Pratt, both dressed in matching floor-length, yellow, silk chiffon gowns, while the Spencer was joined by the incredible…two nonceleb friends.

Montard was decked out head to toe in nearly $1 million worth of Neil Lane jewels and a gorgeous, flowy, white, strapless gown, custom designed by Monique Lhuiller. Pratt and his groomsmen all wore Ermenegildo Zegna suits. Heidi’s father walked her down the aisle following Pratt’s niece Ava, the flower girl.

Afterward guests gathered outside Westminster Presbyterian to toss yellow rose petals on the newlyweds, who did what always comes naturally to Speidi- playing it up and kissing for the crowd. Heidi then gathered her girlfriends to toss the bouquet, only to have Cavallari, rumored to be replacing Lauren Conrad on The Hills next season, jump up and make the catch.

The office pool is now open on how long this one’s gonna last, and, more importantly…how many staged photo-ops will be raining down on the media from the wedding! Good times.

Heidi Montag And Spencer Pratt’s Drunken Marriage

US magazine already bought and published pictures of Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt’s ~~fake, illegal~~ romantic marriage in Mexico. Last night’s episode of “The Hills”, however, highlighted the true ickyness of the whole debacle.

Scuzzy Spencer flew Montard to Cabo San Lucas, got her drunk on tequila and rushed her to a church. The next morning she could sort of remember how drunk she was but couldn’t remember the ceremony at ALL. No wonder her mom is pissed! It was the marital equivalent of a date rape drugging.

Spencer has always tried to take Heidi away from “bad influences”, namely her mother, his sister, her ex-best friend, basically the entire world, because they all know the truth… Spencer is the douchiest person on earth. He’s the worst person she could possibly marry.

The episode showed the couple in Mexico, by themselves, (except for the camera crew and production team) so they could have their own wedding alone. “It’s our secret marriage,” Spencer told her (and everyone watching at home.)

The teaser for next week’s finale shows the idiots having to go to a U.S. courthouse to actually GET a marriage license, and face the anger of Heidi’s mother, whom Spencer further infuriates by calling her “mom.” It may be tempting to pity Heidi, but she’s willingly been under Spencer’s spell despite everyone in her universe telling her what a massive mistake he is. Fame, it seems, is more important than good sense. Snarkista gives the marriage a year, unless Spencer knocks Heidi up. If that happens, there won’t be a divorce until the tabloid checks are cashed!

Watch Hills Speidi clip in Celebrity Videos | View More Free Videos Online at Veoh.com

The Hills: MTV’s Sneak Peak

MTV’s released the trailer for “The Hills”. Snarkista isn’t sure if it is clips of plotlines that will really be developed- or the best parts of the season crammed into one trailer. Last season was pretty much a snoozer, and the hint here that the insufferable Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt may break up is just ridiculous! Those two are worth way more together than they are apart, and they aren’t through riding the money train yet. There will be WAY more posed pics and heinous songs from Heidi to endure before the douche-duo parts ways. Also, to Snarkista’s dismay, Spencer seems to be growing something on his face.

Brody Jenner, Professional Douche, Wants A Bromance

The male Paris Hilton, Brody Jenner, has lucked out and convinced MTV and Ryan Seacrest to give him his own show on MTV. Here he is with a broken finger courtesy of a girl. The “Hills” dude is looking for someone to replace SPENCER PRATT as his new BFF. The show is called “Bromance”, and will have contestants compete to be part of Brody’s doucheterage. Eliminations will occur in a HOT TUB! Does this sound kinda gay to anyone?

Challenges will include skydiving, dealing with the paparazzi, ability to get into clubs etc. where the wannabe bros will be vying for the great honor of hanging with Brody.

After the “Hot Tub Elimination Ceremonies” the rejected dudes will be asked to leave the douchepad dripping wet in a swimsuit, luggage in hand. Contestants also will have shots at a “group date” and “alone time” with Jenner in every episode. Eww.

Brain dead MTV senior vp series development Liz Gateley said. “Brody is the perfect fit for this concept; he is type of guy everyone wants to hang out with.” If you’re into that kinda shizz. MTV is really upping the quality of their programming! After “Rock The Cradle”, they’re dipping into the vast pool of Z-listers again.

How hard could it be to replace Spencer? Pretty hard, unless you’re good at staged photo ops and plans for world domination. Good luck to the Bros, but I’d start doing butt- squeeze exercises in case there is a surprise challenge in the hot tub.