Burger King Has Some Crazy-Ass Stuff!

Burger King is totally thinking out of the box this recession! Snarkista has to hand it to them for not being afraid to throw WHATEVER at the wall and see what sticks. First, for the holidays, it was their hot scent Flame, for the guy who can’t smell enough like greasy beef. Now, the freaky King (who- admit it, you’re hella scared of) brings us THESE!

Burger King chips?! Okay, maybe the ketchup and fries ones aren’t an enormous leap, but “flame broiled” flavor? A beef chip? A COW CHIP? Sittin’ on top of Snarkista’s beloved Diet Dr. Pepper? Oh HELL no, Royal whack-job of grub-to-go. Boundaries. Look ’em up.

Stumped For A Gift? How About Burger King Cologne?!

File this under DON’T BUY THIS FOR ANY ONE SNARKISTA KNOWS! Burger King has inexplicably come out with a new fragrance for ye who just can’t get enough of fast-food hamburger-smell. “Flame” bills itself as “the body spray with a hint of flame-broiled meat.” Notice they didn’t even say BEEF. I digress.

“Flame by BK” says that since The Whopper is America’s favorite burger, “Flame” will give you that same hint of irresistible seduction. Horf! PLEASE, teenage boys, Snarkista knows how y’all love to douse yourselves with “Axe”. This stuff will make “Axe” smell like angel breath. Do not, under any circumstances, trade that stuff for this. Ever.