Jessica Alba Gets Married, Possibly Smiles

Jessica Alba and classy Cash Warren have tied the knot, but did it quietly. I’m sure that was an important part of the press release to People Magazine. Jessica doesn’t want you to think of her as joyful…that would involve actual smiling and violate some contract. The knot tying took place yesterday, and was so QUIET we don’t know where it occurred. Jessica and Cash have been engaged since last December, and as you probably know- a little girl is quickly on her way. Cheers to the quiet, sort of glad, er-okay couple!
UPDATE: Appears the knot was tied at the romantic Beverly Hills courthouse, without guests, Alba in a dark blue dress, Cash in brown pants. An arch of fake greenery and fake flowers WAS present. Ah, love.