Clash of the Titans Review: Worse than Original and Not Even Funny

Back in our younger days, we used to watch the original 1981 Clash of the Titans movie every year. It was a terrible, terrible film. The original version did have one major redeeming quality, however. It was horribly funny to watch and make disparaging, biting commentary about how really bad it was. Thus, the yearly ritual of drinking a lot of beer and amusing ourselves with yet another viewing.

'Clash of the Titans' 2010 (Warner Bros.)
'Clash of the Titans' 2010 (Warner Bros.)

Unfortunately, the new Clash of the Titans 2010 version is so abysmal; it isn’t even worth it to make fun of the movie. The sad thing is, the film being in 3D makes it even worse. The sets and special effects are bland, cheesy and look like a bad children’s play gone awry. The acting is so fake and stilted, you just want to slap the actors around to at least evoke some kind of emotion from them.

Let’s not even talk about what kind of insane accents these people were apparently trying to pull off. Mostly they all sounded like they’d just had some sort of class in how to sound like a bloody idiot on screen – and that includes Liam Neeson, who we usually adore.

The overall point is that just because 3D can be cool and CGI animation can be a wickedly useful too, one should not try to do either if you suck at it. Especially when the movie wasn’t even originally supposed to be in 3D – that was all the fault of Avatar‘s success. A film shot for 2D – especially this one – just cannot be converted to 3D without ending up looking a worse mess than it already was.

Our advice, stick to the original Clash of the Titans for a bit of good fun and drunken entertainment. As for the new version, forget it ever happened – we certainly will.

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