Brooke Mueller accepting Charlie Sheen’s offer

Charlie Sheen was recently reported to be looking for two properties in Los Angeles close to his home, one for each of his ex-wives.  The idea is that Charlie wants to be able to see his kids whenever possible, and he thinks it’s more likely if they live close by.

Brooke Mueller, Charlie’s most recent ex, seems to want to take Charlie up on his offer, and is reportedly working with the real estate agent in order to make it happen.  No word yet on whether Denise Richards is going to turn this into Three’s Company, but this is Hollywood, and stranger things have certainly happened.

Charlie Sheen trying to create one big happy family

Part of Charlie Sheen‘s rehab seems to be that he’s doing a lot of soul-searching, and has decided that he wants his ex-wives living closer to him so that he can spend more time with his children.  Sheen has started looking for not one, but two separate homes in Los Angeles – one for his ex-wife, Denise Richards, and another for his other ex-wife, Brooke Mueller.

Between the two wives, Sheen has four children, and he figures if he can keep them all close to him, they can have some sort of happy family.  Sheen has offered to pay for the houses plus all moving expenses… but of course, the two women in question would have to agree to all this.  Good luck with that, Charlie!

It Kinda Sucks To Be Lindsay Lohan

Lately, Lindsay Lohan hasn’t been doing so great in the “keeping a gig” department. First, she had a sweet cameo opportunity on the fab Ugly Betty, and she went and brought her diva to the set. Said set was not amused. LiLo’s original 6 show job got slashed.

Then, despite her gaffe LAST year at the World Music Awards in Monaco (calling Beyonce out onstage while she was still getting her weave on) the powers-that-be invited Lindsay back to host. It’s a miracle Lindsay lived through the Beyonce thing. You know Sasha Fierce is still gunnin’ for her ass.

Well, the powers started to get cold feet because of the diva thing Lindsay has going for her. They thought maybe a co-host would help Lindsay not screw the whole shizz up. Cute Jesse Metcalfe was called in to give her some “support”. The dang diva popped out and let the powers know that firecrotch don’t need no sidekick. Brilliante.

The Mirror UK
says: “The organisers had gone through a list of who was hot at the moment and returned to Lindsay again. But the feedback they got was really negative. They got worried and decided to change it. In the end it was decided by both parties it was better if she pulled out.”

Soooo…now Lindsay’s been axed. The ULTIMATE salt-in-the-wound? Her replacement. It’s Miss Bimbo USA Denise Richards. Yes, possibly the worst actress on the planet is replacing Lindsay as the host. Wanna watch a trainwreck? Heh.

Signs Of The Apocalypse: Paris Hilton Edition

Okay all of you greedy actors, call off your effin’ strike threat RIGHT NOW, because THIS is the kind of shizz that will happen if you don’t. Paris Hilton has an idea. Crap! What FAB timing that bitch has!

According to a Paris pal, Wonky got her annual idea watching both Dina Lohan’s and Denise Richards’ new reality series. Her plan? A show like The View. Only with celebs doing the yammering. Only God or the Screen Actors Guild can save us now.

Imagine Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan, The Olsen Trolls, Tori Spelling…as well as skanky Denise, White Oprah Lohan and Nicole Richie along with whomever else they can scrape out of Hyde- together in one big shizstorm sharing ”their side” of what it’s like to be THEM. With Paris wearing a tiara. Bravo and Lifetime both have sniffed at the bait.

Snarkista doesn’t give a crap what it’s like to be them. She just wants them to keep it up so she can snark ’em! But a cluster of the insufferable, whining about the papz, is the last thing even SHE wants to see on TV. Please, for the sake of all that is holy, ACCEPT THE EFFIN’ OFFER ON THE TABLE, SAGGIES, and lets get on with the REAL acting.

Great. Snarkista’s got the damn sparkles. Here comes a giant migraine.

Charlie Sheen Is Sorry Again, Loves Blacks

Charlie Sheen has apologized for some three-year old voicemails that golddigger ex Denise Richards released the other day. In addition to the usual bleepin’ shizz you’d expect from Charlie, he’s so mad that he calls Denise the N-word. The divorce has made him crazy AND blind! Said Charles:

I deeply apologize by my choice of words to all I have obviously offended; especially to Tony Todd, an African-American, who was my best man at my first two weddings. Three and one-half years later, the reasons that caused the anger and frustration displayed on that voice mail continue to be manifested on a daily basis” because “my children did not show up today for a custodial visit without explanation.

Way to apologize AND get in another dig at the ex! Now Snarkista is NO fan of Denise, as she’s obviously oblivious to the exploitation of her kids on her excruciating show Denise Richards: It’s Complicated . Using them as pawns between herself and Charlie is indefensible. Charlie is barreling down the same road to Z-lister land. Both of these losers need to shut the eff up. I doubt Tony Todd is gonna go for a three-peat.