October 6, 2008

Ali Lohan: Nevermind

Last week reports circulated that momager Dina Lohan had turned down famed producer Johnny Wright’s offer to manage her youngest daughter Ali’s “music career”. For those of you fortunate enough not to have heard 15-year old Ali’s singing, you may have wondered why Dina would turn down such a great opportunity…as Dina is the queen […]

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September 30, 2008

Dina Lohan Screws Ali Again

Momager Dina Lohan has once again proved that she’s a moron. A greedy moron, at that. Even though daughter Ali Lohan sucks at singing, music manager Johnny Wright reportedly wanted Ali to be a management client, and help her with her “music career.” Johnny isn’t some no-name dude. He manages the Jonas Brothers, Danity Kane, […]

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September 19, 2008

Lindsay Lohan Wants To Turn Your Ass Orange

Recently, Lindsay Lohan made her foray into the fashion world with her cameltoe legging-wear. She thoughtfully designed some with KNEEPADS. Now, Lindsay wants to help you be tanorexic. Lindsay’s coming out with a line of fake tanner, a product she’s intimately familiar with! As Lindsay’s natural skin color is Fishbelly, fake tanner has been a […]

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August 28, 2008

Ali Lohan: Not A Supermodel.

What the eff is Supermodels magazine? Obviously it is SO elite that no one Snarkista knows has ever seen it. This would explain why Ali Lohan is gracing it’s cover…if one wants to put it that way. Those America’s Next Top Models (and Tila Tequila?!) in the collage are PISSED at Dina Lohan for paying […]

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July 31, 2008

Dina Lohan Has Ali Audition For Famed Porn Producer

Ah, good times! The last episode of Living Lohan has White Oprah at her finest! Mom (and Snarkista uses the term lightly here) Dina Lohan’s insatiable famewhore-ness is well documented. Dina is kind of a ready, fire, aim gal. She’s been busy promoting youngest daughter Ali Lohan’s “singing career”. Ali is lame, shocker. If you […]

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July 4, 2008

Signs Of The Apocalypse: Paris Hilton Edition

Okay all of you greedy actors, call off your effin’ strike threat RIGHT NOW, because THIS is the kind of shizz that will happen if you don’t. Paris Hilton has an idea. Crap! What FAB timing that bitch has! According to a Paris pal, Wonky got her annual idea watching both Dina Lohan’s and Denise […]

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