Paris Hilton got all futured-up in an attempt to look relevant like Lady Ga-Ga. Lady G is the QUEEN of the spacy, and has loads of actual talent! Sorry, P. Hilt- You’re just a pretender to the throne. Please don’t sing to try and change my mind.
David Beckham Bought Posh A $160,000 Purse
Well, there’s still no Great Depression in the land of David and Victoria Beckham– Becks found a Christmas present for the woman who has everything…a diamond encrusted handbag costing 80,000 pounds, or approximately $160,000. Moneybags!
The diamond-studded Birkin Himalayan by Hermes is one of only three in the world. Posh showed off her new swag for the first time as Becks made his debut for AC Milan in Dubai. Posh is the only woman alive who would wear pearls and carry a diamond purse to a soccer game! The bag is named after British-born French actress Jane Birkin and has hundreds of diamonds, including a three-carat rock on the lock.
It cost Becks nearly a weekâ€™s pay! It was worth it to avoid a beating from Posh. Outrageous!
Richard Blackwell, Mr. “Worst-Dressed” Passes Away
The creator of the original, and best-known annual “Worst Dressed” list, passed away yesterday at age 86. For 48 years, Richard Blackwell zapped the styles of the famous, and many of pop culture’s biggest weren’t immune from his sting. Blackwell had his own fashion line for 35 years, and worked with Hollywood legends that included Jane Russell and Jayne Mansfield. Last year he put British “Spice Girls” singer Victoria “Posh Spice” Beckham at the top of his list, saying: “…in one skinny-mini monstrosity after another, pouty ‘Posh’ Beckham can really wreck-em.” Thanks to the AP for the following collection of some of Blackwell’s zingers!
* Cameron Diaz: “Looks like she was dressed by a colorblind circus clown, and when it comes to fashion, it’s chaos when Cameron’s back in town.”
* Madonna: “From Ghetto Glam to Rhinestone Cowgirl to Mrs. Guy Ritchie. Any way you label it, she’s still just kitschy, kitschy, kitschy.”
* Christina Aguilera: “Is she a boring and body-baring bungle â€” or just auditioning for ‘Sheena, Queen of the Jungle?'”
*Courtney Love: “When push comes to shove, no one’s fashion is tackier and wackier than funky, punky Love!”
* Mary Kate Olsen: “She resembles a tattered toothpick trapped in a hurricane.”
* The Dixie Chicks: “They look like a trio of truck-stop fashion tragedies trapped in a typhoon.”
* Rene Zellweger: “A painted pumpkin on a pogo stick.”
* Ann-Margret: “Marlon Brando in a g-string.”
* Bjork: “She dances in the dark â€” and dresses there, too.”
* Martha Stewart: “She dresses like the centerfold for the Farmer’s Almanac.”
* Sharon Stone: “She looks like an over-the-hill Cruella de Ville.”
* Elizabeth Taylor: “Looks like two small boys fighting under a mink blanket.”
* Amy Winehouse: “Exploding beehives above, tacky polka-dots below, she’s part 50’s carhop horror.”
* Cher: “A million beads and one overexposed derriere.”
* Sarah Jessica Parker: “From ‘Sex and the City’ Sarah’s fashions are a mix-and-match pity.”
* Mariah Carey: “Shrink-wrapped cheesecake.”
* Victoria “Posh Spice” Beckham: “Forget the fashion spice â€” wearing a skirt would suffice! In one skinny-mini monstrosity after another, pouty Posh can really wreck-em.”
*Queen Elizabeth II: “Was she the palace Christmas tree or just a royal clown?
* Camilla Parker-Bowles: “In feathered hats that were once the rage, she resembles a petrified parakeet from the Jurassic age.”
* Dennis Rodman (for his drag outfits): “The Fashion Menace may be the Bad Boy of basketball â€” but in fishnet and feathers he’s a unisex wreck.”
Lindsay’s Leggings Bringing Cameltoe Back
Which NOBODY wants to see- unless, perhaps, you’re Samantha Ronson. How hard is it to design freaking leggings? And, more importantly, why WOULD you? Snarkista hates leggings, even though she has fabulous legs that everything looks great on. Seriously, leggings aren’t flattering on anyone, and just look like busted ’80’s unless worn under a long top. Under a long top they are just stupidfug.
If you skip the long top, get ready for some full-on cameltoe at some point in the day. WAY too dangerous. Mischa Barton was out recently in some truly HEINOUS polyester-denim leggings (and, of course, cameltoe). Plumb God- AWFUL, trust me.
Brainiac-marketer Lindsay has named her line “6126”, because EVERYONE knows that’s Marilyn Monroe’s birthday, and Lindsay IS Marilyn reincarnated (according to Dina). It should have been named “666”, because the “line” will include:
â€œfootless tightsâ€ made from â€œSupima cotton and Modal ribbed knitsâ€ along with other fabrics spruced up with zippers, foil prints, yarn dyes and sexy metallic and screen prints.
Cashmere leg warmers and something called an â€œankle glove,â€ a modified warmer that covers the ankle, are also part of the line, which will start at $40 and go up to $140.
The only people who should be wearing cashmere leg warmers are ballet dancers, and the mysterious “ankle glove” sounds like… a leg warmer. I can only IMAGINE the horror of zippers on leggings, and metallic prints could blind the paparazzi! It’s hard out there for a pap- and eyesight is quite important for the job. Ribbed knits will make your legs look like an NFL football player’s. If Snarkista finds out you’ve paid $140 for a pair of tights, there will be holy hell to pay! Just say “oh HELL no”, and buy some real pants.