Stumped For A Gift? How About Burger King Cologne?!

File this under DON’T BUY THIS FOR ANY ONE SNARKISTA KNOWS! Burger King has inexplicably come out with a new fragrance for ye who just can’t get enough of fast-food hamburger-smell. “Flame” bills itself as “the body spray with a hint of flame-broiled meat.” Notice they didn’t even say BEEF. I digress.

“Flame by BK” says that since The Whopper is America’s favorite burger, “Flame” will give you that same hint of irresistible seduction. Horf! PLEASE, teenage boys, Snarkista knows how y’all love to douse yourselves with “Axe”. This stuff will make “Axe” smell like angel breath. Do not, under any circumstances, trade that stuff for this. Ever.