Pamela Anderson: Heyyyyy Paris!
Paris Hilton: (Ahem) Hey Pam! Fancy seeing you here at The Art Basel Miami- it’s IMPORTANT, ya know..
Pam: Yeah, I love art! I brought my Andy Warhol purse and Fred Durst. No hard feelings, K?
Paris: Oh, none! Fred’s soooo in my past, I’m moving on with playing Tinkerbell for Disney! Are you up for a Madagascar 3 role?
Pam: Huh?
Paris: The underwear, Pam. Tigress?
Pam: No! It was dark when I got dressed and I grabbed one of my boys’ underoos by mistake.
Paris: Ohkayy! How old are your little ones now? I’m dying to be a mom. I’d be the best!
Pam: They’re 10 and 11 now. Motherhood is great- all of their friends call me “Stacy’s Mom”… I don’t really get it; neither of them are named Stacy…
Paris: Do they care if you go out half-naked? I need to know these things. Don’t get me wrong, you look good for 40…
Pam: Uh, well- that’s why I kept the lights off. They are in that “mom is so embarrassing” stage.
Paris: I wore this Tinkerbell dress last night and I didn’t have time to change- the serape totally transforms it, no?
Pam: Uh, sure. It’s not very hott, though, they have these pants in zebra too!
Paris: Um- no thanks, hun. I have to stick with the fairy theme as much as possible. Can you smell my new “Fairy Dust” perfume? No to Prop 8!
Pam: I thought that was my vintage Zima. I’m gonna miss this stuff.