Cover Crimes: Gwyneth Paltrow Edition


Elle Horreure! Times are tough everywhere- even at Disney, who obviously is conducting a stealth campaign using the epitome of the Disney demographic, Gwyneth Paltrow. For subtlety.

Gwinnie is demonstrating a look that the kind would dub “runway”, and the unkind would dub “run away”. But, “the massive ear/shoulders with the shorts are so daring, Snarkista. How can you fault? It’s artistic license, clearly.”

Clearly it involves a license…violation…straight from the Fashion Police. It’s one thing to swish rapidly down a runway in some designer’s crazed confection, and it’s another to capture it, freeze it, and make us look at it in the checkout line.

I know, Disney, Miley Cyrus will not behave. Or close the dressing-room door in boutiques. But Pepsi’s already trying the super-subtle-subliminal-motif thing with Obama’s logo, and that’s almost like recording satanic chants backwards on a Jonas Brothers CD.

Just step away from the pitchfest at the ad agency, and hopefully no one will get hurt. Gwyneth will never know you’re gone. Maybe Miley would put this top on her head for you? Ah, no. Nevermind.