Snark Sightings

Heidi Montag Could Rule Olympic Chin-Ups: Webster Is My Bitch

New Job No-No’s: 9 To Fried

Madonna’s Rep Doesn’t Know Photoshop: The Superficial

Nelly’s Pumped: Bumpshack

Shia LaBeouf Catches A Break: Backseat Cuddler

Little Jamie Lynn Hates The Papz: Spewker

Miley Wants Hannah Dead: Socialite Life

Miley Cyrus Wants To Take It All Off

Industry insiders say Miley Cyrus’ Vanity Fair shoot might have been a well-orchestrated blessing in disguise for the teen star and her career. “I challenge you to show me a child star who really made the transition to adulthood smoothly,” one source tells MSNBC. “Miley doesn’t have plans to leave showbiz any time soon, and to get that big ‘grown-up’ part, she needs to start looking like a grownup. That shoot helped.”

Great! Miley’s 15, and the star machine is working overtime to pimp her into a “big grownup”, complete with big grownup roles. Like naked ones. She’s rumored to be interested in the lead role in “Undiscovered Gyrl,” the film version of Allison Burnett’s new novel. Burnett’s agent Richard Abate has reportedly just begun shopping the book manuscript and has yet to secure a deal for the film.

However, a source close to the project says Cyrus is interested in the part, which would be that of “a lovable, lost suburban girl who descends into a life of reckless partying and promiscuity.” The source says if Cyrus did take the part, you’d be seeing a lot more of Cyrus than what appeared in the Vanity Fair photos. “There would definitely be nude scenes,” says the source.

Billy Ray needs an effin’ reality check FAST. Truthfully, it’s probably too late. The machine’s running on it’s own now, and there’s not a lot that pops can do, unless he grows some BALLS and stops Miley from playing a lovable slut.

She’s gonna watch that tween fanbase disappear in a blink, but maybe that’s the big plan. The proverbial horse has left the barn. British moms have had it with her, and American moms aren’t real happy either. Miley’s gotta pay for her massive overhead somehow, so slutting it up some more looks like her next logical step. That sound you just heard was a shot being fired into Hannah Montana.

British Moms Are Pissed At Miley Cyrus

Tween queen Miley Cyrus has had her share of scandals, from racy pics to naughty candy. Some people just say “leave Miley alone” ‘cuz she’s just a victim! Others are getting pretty critical, since most of Miley’s racy pics were taken by Miley! Now it seems British mothers have had enough, and are banning her toys and dolls from their homes.

Some angry parents at the Disney store in London told Fox News that their kids still want to buy the dolls and toys, but they feel Miley

“is now of an unsuitable nature for a 15-year-old megastar.”

The moms are OVER Miley’s controversial pictures which keep popping up on the web. We all know the latest set of pictures were published after they were hacked from Miley’s email account. Still, Miley’s racy self-pics for Nick Jonas aren’t setting well with tween moms and dads. Hannah Montana is EVERYWHERE, and has a huge influence on her young fans.

Snarkista told papa Billy Ray that he needed to get that shotgun out, and now he might wanna think about hiding the i-phone! Miley’s already wanting to do a “Sex and The Sequel”, and she’s 15. When she’s 18 and has control of her millions, it’s gonna be too late to straighten her out. British moms apparently aren’t gonna wait and see.

Katy Perry Wants To Smooch Miley Cyrus; Is Not A Virgin

Former Christian singer-turned-provocateur Katy Perry, whose song “I Kissed a Girl” has burned up the charts this summer, says Miley Cyrus would be her dream girl-kiss. Katy tells Steppin’ Out magazine when asked the question in it’s latest issue:

“Miley Cyrus! She’s the lucky girl. It’s cool to hear through the grapevine that Miley Cyrus has my song as her ring tone.

Perry, 23, will be stalking lucky Miley at August’s Teen Choice Awards, which Cyrus, 15, is hosting. Katy continues…

Maybe we’ll have another Britney-Madonna moment on stage. How hilarious would that be? Although I don’t think it would help her career. However, it would definitely help mine!

No, Katy, it definitely wouldn’t help Miley’s career- at least not with the parents of her current tween fanbase! But you’re right, it would probably boost yours a bit. Snarkista doesn’t think it would launch you into the Madonna and Britney Spears stratosphere, but you’d definitely get some more press.

Katy also cleared up any confusion deluded folks may have about what some think is a chastity ring she wears. It’s from beau Travis McCoy, singer with the band Gym Class Heros (and recently arrested for assault).

I’m definitely not a virgin! People think the promise ring means no sex! No, the promise ring is just a promise that he’ll get me another ring. A better ring! Seriously, it’s not one of those ‘no sex’ promise rings,” she added. That kind of went out the window when I was 17 years old.

Yep, right about the time her Christian music career went out the window! Katy’s on a full-court famewhore press right now, and she’s gonna ride that train as long as she can. Billy Ray Cyrus may not be thrilled about Katy’s quest for Miley, as Miley’s probably had ENOUGH sexy press this week!

Her hacked phone caused MORE provocative pics of Miley to hit the net the other day. Snarkista thinks Miley needs to learn how to use the DELETE button, or better yet- lay off the self pic-taking for awhile! And stay away from the naughty candy!

Miley’s Naughty Candy

Hmmm. Let’s see… Miley Cyrus has been suffering a bit of an image problem lately. Disney is rumored to be a little uncomfortable with the sexing-up of Ms. Hannah Montana. There is a gi-normous amount of Hannah Montana merchandise, covering virtually every possible branding item known to man. Except candy? Not anymore!

Either the Chinese are manufacturing these as their latest attempt to destroy the evil American capitalists, or some marketing dude is freshly unemployed. Whichever is the case, Miley now has a pretty pink problem.