Miley Cyrus: Not Having “Underaged Sex”


Miley Cyrus’ rep felt the need to put out a statement on her behalf today. According to Miley’s spokesperson, 15 year-old Miley is not having “underaged sex” with her 20 year-old boyfriend Justin Gaston. Why in the world would anyone think that? Not because Miley was snapped seductively licking her lips watching Justin walk the runway for Christian Audigier’s the other night during L.A.’s Fashion Week, surely! And of course, the fact that Miley and Justin were making out HEAVILY backstage had nothing to do with it either, right? Surely Miley was just JOKING when she was overheard telling a friend that “she was probably staying at Justin’s tonight and that they were going to skip the after-party and have a party of their own.”

Sounds like Billy Ray and Leticia Cyrus have a MAJOR fire on their hands, one that’s been building for quite awhile. But, there could be even MORE to this than meets the eye. Miley and Billy Ray want OUT of their “Hannah Montana” Disney contracts, and have been making life miserable for everyone on-set. Sure would be convenient for Miley to “sex” her way out of the Magic Kingdom, huh. Moms everywhere are getting antsy at Miley’s ever increasing provocative behavior, and AREN’T looking for another Britney to lead their daughters astray. Disney knows it, and has been grooming Selena Gomez and Demi Lovato to ascend to Miley’s golden throne.

Justin Gaston better be VERY careful around the extremely powerful and headstrong jail-bait. Miley may be a cash cow, but if she pulls a Jamie Lynn Spears, Justin could be headed for the slammer. Miley might end up SHOPPING at Wal-Mart instead of dominating it. All that Hannah Montana merchandise would go straight to the dumpster. Oh well, at least Miley has plenty of heinous Hannah-wigs if she decides to shave her head.

One More Reason To Hate Miley Cyrus


Behold Justin Gaston, the (rumored) new boyfriend of Miley Cyrus. Justin, 20, is an underwear model, and Snarkista must say he is a master of his craft. No doubt, 15 year-old Miley bought him as an early birthday present for herself. Justin must be a very mellow dude to put up with that nonstop Chipmunk with a 2-pack a day voice, and is only allowed to say he is Miley’s “friend.” ‘Cuz he’s 20. Snarkista has a bunch of other pics of Justin in his underwear, but trust her when she says the banana is in the hammock in a big way. And you DON’T wanna get in trouble at work! (Click to enlarge.) Damn you, Miley!

Poll: Jake Gyllenhaal Shirtless In “Prince Of Persia”

Here’s Jake Gyllenhaall shirtless on the set of his upcoming (but pushed back to 2010) movie Prince Of Persia; The Sands Of Time. Jakey’s obviously been hitting the gym, and has possibly been up in the ‘roids! Jake’s also gotten hairier, OR he’s wearing a bad Hannah Montana wig. What Snarkista wants to know is:

Miley’s New “7 Things” Video: Take That, Nick Jonas!

7 Things is basically about getting over a past boyfriend. Rumors are buzzing that it is actually about Nick Jonas of the Jonas Brothers. Miley and Nick dated last year, but Nick didn’t want to go public with their relationship.

Even though he wanted to keep it under wraps, Miley reportedly kissed him on stage last year for all the world to see. Nick then put a screeching halt to their relationship, and broke poor Miley’s heart. Ah, we all remember that first big breakup. The album, Breakout, is scheduled to drop on July 22. Good thing there’s no naughty candy in the video! Here’s Miley as Avril Lavigne.

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