Turkey News: Heidi And Spencer Get Married

In honor of turkeys everywhere, we have news today that Hollywood’s douchiest duo, Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt, have reportedly tied the knot in a secret ceremony in Mexico. We have The Hills to thank for Heidi and Spencer, and we have Heidi and Spencer to thank for providing unintentionally hilarious fodder for bloggers everywhere. The “secret ceremony” will no doubt provide a new deluge of badly posed cheezeshots to distract us from the economy. Perez Hilton gives us Spencer’s Velveeta-vows to Heidi:

Heidi, from the moment you came into my life, I knew my life would never be the same without you. You are the light in my life like the sun to the earth! Your loving warmth makes me want to be a better person. Being with you, I feel complete. I’m honored to even be able to call you my wife. You are the most amazing, loving and caring woman on this planet. I will love you forever and always.

Speidi got engaged in May 2007 following rumors of a split that unfortunately didn’t stick. Heidi initially called off the wedding in December last year after apparently not being happy with the arrangements. Snarkista can not WAIT to see if Heidi wore something from her recently canned “fashion” line, Crappywood Heidiwood.

Pratt and Montag wed at the One & Only Palmilla Resort, just outside Cabo San Lucas, and the ceremony was held on the beach. One alarming detail: the couple are planning on starting their family as soon as they can. Sayeth Spencer: “Heidi talks about lots of kids all the time. She wakes up with these great dreams about five kids.” Maybe this is why the quickie-wedding went down! Three words: Dumbest. Kids. Everrrrr.