Crystal Harris thinks she’s a pop star

Hugh Hefner‘s fiancée, Crystal Harris, is getting ready to something almost as ridiculous as marrying Hugh Hefner – she’s releasing a single.  A music single.  The alleged song is entitled “Club Queen,” and it’s going to be released in June, right before her wedding day.

Harris is at least smart enough to know that she’s going to need help with this – she’s hooked up with vocal coach Seth Riggs, whose past students include Diana Ross and Madonna, and apparently he’s going to make sure that she doesn’t screw up this recording any worse than necessary.  The recording engineer will have to fix the rest later.

The Playboy Mansion may be infecting people

We always knew it could happen, but perhaps not quite this way.  Hugh Hefner hosted a fundraiser at his mansion in the first week of February, and afterward nearly 100 people suffered symptoms consistent with pneumonia.  Some guests were bedridden for a week or more, while others only experienced mild symptoms.

The residents and staff at the Playboy Mansion have been cooperating with public health officials to try to discover the source of the outbreak.  Since it’s likely it was something airborne, there’s probably nothing they can do about it now, but at least if they can figure out where the illness came from, it might give some of the sufferers some peace of mind.

Hugh Hefner defends Ricky Gervais

In this day and age when every celebrity seems to get butthurt over the slightest joke at their expense, it’s good to see that some people still have an old-school attitude toward comedy.  Hugh Hefner and his fiancée Crystal Harris were on the receiving end of a Ricky Gervais joke the other night at the Golden Globes, but instead of being outraged, Hef took it in his stride and accepted the jabs as part of a fun evening.

Hefner’s Twitter stream didn’t indicate any animosity toward Gervais, as he tweeted, “the Golden Globes was a blast. They made fun of everyone, including Crystal & me. A great night.”  He went on to say that when you lead the kind of public life that he has led, the jokes come with that, and you just have to accept it.  Well said.

Hugh Hefner marrying for a third time

Just when you thought things with Hugh Hefner couldn’t get any more gross, he’s now engaged to marry his girlfriend, Crystal Harris, who is a mere 23 years old.  According to Hef’s Twitter, the 84-year-old Playboy founder proposed to Crystal on Christmas Eve, and allegedly she burst into tears.

You can’t really blame her – she’s about to be legally tied to a man old enough to be her great-grandfather, and yet… think of the inheritance.  Naturally there will be a lot of mixed emotions!  No word yet on a wedding date, but you can bet it’s going to be a glitzy, glamorous affair, and that there will be a lot of young blondes and rich dudes in attendance.

Hope Dworaczyk Playboy 3-D Centerfold Fulfills Hugh Hefner Dream

Playboy founder Hugh Hefner says he’s always wanted to do a 3-D centerfold for the gentleman’s magazine. Now his dream has finally become a reality with a 3-D spread of Playmate of the Year Hope Dworaczyk in the latest issue of Playboy.

Hope Dworaczyk (Playboy)
Hope Dworaczyk (Playboy)

We wonder if the brains behind the 3-D success of Avatar could have possibly imagined the insane craze for the medium they have created. Not only are half the movies in the theaters going 3-D, but now Playboy is hopping on the train too. We are sure that 3-D porn flicks and sex tapes are sure to follow…

“You’re constantly competing for people’s time, you’re competing for their attention,” Playboy editorial director Jimmy Jellinek said. “You have five seconds to reach them. In order to force them to physically go to the newsstand and buy your product, you have to give them a reason. And this is a reason… It’s tactile. It’s something that uses the platform and the medium for which it was created.”

The new Playboy magazine with the 3-D Hope Dworaczyk centerfold spread hits newsstands on Friday. HBO, a division of Time Warner Inc., reportedly helped out with the costs of the 3-D glasses that come with the issue.

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Holly Madi$on Can’t Hook Hef

It’s beginning to dawn on Holly Madison, lead girlbunny in Hugh Hefner’s intimate foursome, that Hef is probably not going to buy the cow and marry her. Not that the milk is free, mind you, as I’m sure Mr. Bathrobe pays quite a bit for the upkeep of his stable. No, despite Holly’s yearnings to tie the knot, Hef’s just not the marrying kind. Or tactful about it.

Hef yammered on to the press at last week’s “Playmate of the Year” luncheon that:

“I love Holly very much and I think we’re going to be together the rest of my life, but marriage isn’t part of my puzzle. It’s not a personal thing; I just haven’t had much luck with marriages.”

Yeah. It’s not personal, Holly! At ALL! Maybe you should ditch the ancient fugger while you’re still under 30! It’s not like you couldn’t attract anyone else. Ah, but the mansion life. So tempting to hope that at least when Hef kicks it, he’ll leave you your bedroom and maid service! Your fellow “Girls Next Door” blondies Bridget Marquardt and Kendra Wilkinson seem to be less brainwashed, and have marriage and motherhood goals (sans Hef). Maybe they’ll take off and Hugh will change his mind! You’d have him all to yourself then, er- whenever the mansion isn’t partying 24-7. Sigh. Girl, he’s just not THAT into you.