Mary Kate And Ashley Under The Influence Of Prunes

Yeah, “prune” is what Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen say (quietly) when posing for pictures. Supposedly it gives them the perfect, snide, partial-smile that says: “We are not to be questioned, we INFLUENCE. Can you not READ?” No, Snarkista did not make that prune part up. It’s a known Olsen fact, their gramma taught it to them or something, and you can probably wiki it, but do it on your OWN time.

The Olsen trolls signed their new insufferable artsy coffee-table book in NYC yesterday, and here are the ACTUAL rules imposed on anyone who wanted to buy this shizz. Note to the loved ones: DO NOT BUY SNARKISTA THIS FOR CHRISTMAS. She wants an “Infidel” t-shirt from Srsly.

1) Mary-Kate Olsen and Ashley Olsen will be with us for a limited time. They will only be signing copies of their book, Influence. They will not be speaking, reading or taking questions.
2) Mary-Kate Olsen and Ashley Olsen will NOT sign any memorabilia or product other than Influence. There is a limit of one book per person, and your one book must be purchased here.
3) You will be directed to pay for your book upon entering the store and will be given a receipt for your purchase. Please keep your receipt. You will receive your book at the signing table.
4) Along with your receipt, you will be given a B&N wristband, and then directed to the event space on the 4th floor. You must have a receipt and a wristband to access the 4th floor.
5) Anyone approaching the signing table must have paid for the book and be wearing a B&N wristband. One person, one wristband, one book.
6) You will collect your signed book at the signing table. If you have paid for any additional copies, a staff member will provide you with those before you exit the space.
7) There is no photography allowed. You must put away your camera or cell phone before approaching the signing table. The authors will not pose for photos.
8) If you leave, or the authors leave, before you are able to collect a signed book, you may present your receipt to a cashier for either an unsigned book or a refund. (Refunds only issued within 14 days of receipt.)
9) There will be no extra signed copies available after the authors leave the store. They will not be able to sign for anyone who is not on line. No pre-orders.

No word on how long MK and Ash could keep saying “prune” as it was probably starting to hurt, and their hands probably started to hurt too, and “besides, all these people are on our staff, right? Let’s blow!” (No Heath Ledger pun intended.)