Behold new mom Jessica Alba, posing for a new Campari calendar. Jessica wants us to think she’s shed every ounce of preggo, and is once again, perfection of body. Enter Photoshop guru! He’s nipped a few off of her hips, and made sure that Jessica is NOT smiling, even a little. [...]

Jessica Alba stars in a new ad from Declare Yourself urging people to vote. Jessica is in bondage, and needs for you to free her by registering. That duct tape is gonna hurt like hell when they pull it off. Pull fast! If you aren’t registered to vote, do it today. [...]

Jessica Alba and classy Cash Warren have tied the knot, but did it quietly. I’m sure that was an important part of the press release to People Magazine. Jessica doesn’t want you to think of her as joyful…that would involve actual smiling and violate some contract. The knot tying took place yesterday, and [...]