Jessica Simspon Gets Canned By Her Country Label

jessica simpson opryJoe Galante, head of Sony BMG is one of the biggest of the big dogs here in Nashville. So, Jessica Simpson had the shot of a lifetime when he signed her on as a country artist. Galante did a wee roll of the dice after a Papa Joe snow job. He obviously DIDN’T throw a lot of cash into the deal. Seemingly zillions of painful performances later, including a COMPLETE desecration of the High Church of Country Music, The Grand Old Opry, Galante has mercifully pulled the plug on J. Simp’s country adventure.

Jessica Being A Boob At The Opry


Country Music Tattle Tale
dished yesterday that:

If you remember – back in December – we told you that rumors were flying that Joe Galante, the head of Sony BMG Nashville was furious with all of her antics. They were threatening to drop her from the label.
Could these rumors finally becoming true after her shaking tour with Rascal Flatts?
Our reader noticed the following:
Today, her name appears nowhere among the artists listed on the web sites of Columbia Nashville or Sony Music Nashville. Even a search of each site finds that any prior mention of her photos, profile, press releases – has apparently been purged.

PURGED. You don’t get more gone than that. Galante apparently had enough of too much onstage yammering about Tony Romo, too much boobage and appearances in bingo halls, too many God-awful He-Haw outfits, and too much Papa Joe Simpson “managing” the trainwreck. Besides, there was no way Nashville would ever take that shizz seriously. I smell a reality show coming!

Crimes Against Fashion: Jessica Simpson Edition

jessica-simpson-mom-jeans
Holy mom-jeans, Jessica. No! This outfit absolutely gets a top-4 seed in the “Jessica Simpson Crimes Against Fashion Tournament and Chili Cookoff.” Which is sorta where Jessica was when she squeezed into THIS little number! A chili-cookoff, that is, doing her act in front of 3,000 actual people! It beats bingo halls and bowling alleys (actual J. Simp venues in the past 12 months).

Let’s see if these high-waisted denim-diapers look any better from the back.
jessica-simpson-mom-jeans2

No they do not. A more stumpifying garment has yet to be created. And those suckers are chafing you so bad, you’re gonna be crying in the powder room, if you know what I mean.

Jessica, we ALL know you’re trying your damnedest to set the hook into Tony Romo’s football fortune, because you yammer about it onstage constantly. This is between yammering sessions to the press with TOO MUCH INFORMATION.

You’re probably DYING to be a mom and have a lil’ Tony. But please don’t confuse mom-jeans with motherhood, honey, or you’ll NEVER get there.