Stumped By The Candidates? FREE LEVI!



Obama, McCain, Biden, Palin…so many choices it makes the brain hurt! Add to the mix the major fuckery going on in ALL of our largest financial institutions- Hurricanes Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac, and OWWWW!!!





Give yourself a break and hop onto a cause with some meat in it. And I mean a HUNK of meat. Specifically, the hunk of meat named Levi Johnston, former happy-go-lucky Alaskan redneck, literally plucked out of obscurity into the limelight of Election 2008. All for knocking up Bristol Palin. Cheezus.

American ingenuity always comes through in a crisis, and many feel the need to FREE LEVI from a shotgun wedding is a cause they can genuinely get behind. Therefore, cottage industry! Cafepress has all you need to help free Levi, tell Levi to RUN, or just have something to put in your yard ‘cuz you can’t decide on a candidate! Better than Excedrin! Now if we could just FREE THE DEFICIT! It’s about to get a HELL of a lot bigger. Happy Retirement!!

Barbara Walters Is Insane

John McCain stopped by “The View” today and had a grand old time with the hens! However, when John tried to explain what he means when he says we should stick to the Constitution, Whoopi got worried. Worried she might have to become a slave. What a dumbass! Barbara Walters saved Whoopi from looking like the BIGGEST dumbass, though, when she assured her that “we white folks will take care of you.” Holy KKK, Babs. Time for your nap and a big dose of Aricept.

Keith Olbermann And Chris Matthews Canned By MSNBC

MSNBC, after much pressure, has decided to can Keith Olbermann and Chris Matthews from their co-anchor positions, and has made them commentators instead. This follows growing criticism that the two are too incendiary to serve us unbiased anchors. David Gregory will be the sole anchor of MSNBC’s election coverage. Anyone who has watched Olbermann and Matthew’s coverage this year would have to agree it has been anything BUT fair and balanced. For grins, watch the Obama Love video below to see how much Chris Matthews has a hard-on for Barack.

Olbermann has been criticized for being overly enthusiastic in praising the Democrats and vilifying Republicans, while on-air bickering between Olbermann and Matthews has embarrassed NBC News members and, many believe, alienated viewers.

There are plenty of legitimate stories to cover in the election! If one wants to be a commentator, or give an op-ed, one should NOT be an anchor. This shizz has been brewing at MSNBC for a long time, and it’s been pissing off Tom Brokaw who said that “at times Matthews and Olbermann went too far”. Don’t eff with Brokaw, fools! He will shut you DOWN!

Tougher In Alaska: Sarah Palin’s Convention Speech Video

Well, last night was one for the history books. Rudy Guiliani teed it up, and Sarah Palin knocked it out of the park. Snarkista gives Sarah major props for grace under fire, an excellent speech, and for kicking some media ass. Her whole family was there to watch, including her parents AND hot future son-in-law Levi Johnston! You would NEVER know that Sarah’s teleprompter was way effed up, was broken at first, skipped around, and then went too fast. Did not phase the barracuda. Here’s the video of Sarah Palin’s speech last night at the Republican National Convention.

Snarkista knows that work/kids/life may not allow you the luxury of time to watch the entire speech, so here is the text transcript of Sarah Palin’s convention speech at the Republican National Convention.

In case you missed it, here is Joe Biden’s convention speech video.

Pictures of the Palin Family and Levi Johnston with John McCain from last night.

McCain Campaign Threatens To Sue The National Enquirer


UPDATE-UPDATE: Definitely sic Sarah on them, John. It is all bullshizz. UPDATE: Screw suing the National Enquirer, John. Just unleash Sarah Barracuda on their asses! She’ll tear ’em a new one with a smile on her face. What’s the difference between a pit bull and a hockey mom? Lipstick.

The National Enquirer hit the web just hours before Republican VP nominee Sarah Palin‘s hotly anticipated speech tonight with some salacious statements. Supposedly, the print issue of the rag has more dirt on Palin. The Enquirer’s teaser says:

“The National Enquirer’s coverage of a vicious war within Sarah Palin’s extended family includes several newsworthy revelations, including the resulting incredible charge of an affair plus details of family strife when the Governor’s daughter revealed her pregnancy. Following our John Edwards’ exclusives, our political reporting has obviously proven to be more detail-oriented than the McCain campaign’s vetting process. Despite the McCain camp’s attempts to control press coverage they find unfavorable, The Enquirer will continue to pursue news on both sides of the political spectrum.”

The tabloid seems to be going full force into political expose, after being emboldened by the final fall of John Edwards. McCain is livid, and after four other magazines hit the stands today with Palin on the cover, he’s had enough. McCain has now threatened to sue the National Enquirer.
The campaign had this to say:

“The smearing of the Palin family must end. The allegations contained on the cover of the National Enquirer insinuating that Gov. Palin had an extramarital affair are categorically false. It is a vicious lie,” said McCain senior adviser Steve Schmidt. “The efforts of the media and tabloids to destroy this fine and accomplished public servant are a disgrace. The American people will reject it.”

The whole thing is a freakin’ feeding frenzy, and unless the Enquirer has some ironclad evidence, they’re gonna burn through any credibility they earned by outing John Edwards in his extramarital affair. The Palin family has been through a trial by fire this week, and Snarkista thinks that Ms. Tougher In Alaska is NOT gonna forget who was throwing chum at the sharks. Maybe give it a rest for a few days? Before some fool prints that Palin’s a guy? Geez.

Shorting Sarah Palin?


Snarkista hasn’t ALWAYS been your eyes and ears on all things in pop culture… years ago, she spent her time making people fabulously rich managing their investment portfolios. Stocks, bonds, options, mutual funds, futures…you get the picture. One can make money in any type of market, IF one is on the right side. If you think your investment of choice is going up…you buy- or go LONG. If you think your investment of choice is going down, you sell- or go SHORT. There are a gazillion ways to do this, and as this isn’t an investment site, Snarkista will end the lesson there.

Dublin-based Intrade is a place for betting enthusiasts to turn a small profit on everything from the latest auction of a painter’s works to Britney Spears’ chances of landing in rehab. Contracts on a possible future event are bought and sold by users of the site, like a stock on the New York Stock Exchange.

One of the newest contracts is on Sarah Palin withdrawing from the Republican Party ticket. Yes, you can roll the dice on Sarah just like you can on Exxon! Right now, a contract representing the odds of Palin dropping out (or being dumped) is trading at about a 15% probability.

This is pretty astounding, considering a veep hasn’t been dumped off of a presidential ticket since George McGovern announced and later withdrew Thomas Eagleton as his running-mate in 1972. McGovern and Sargent Shriver went on to win a whopping 17 electoral votes. In other words, DISASTER.

Still, people make money on disasters every day! Just ask the papz! Intrade just gives the average Joe more ways than before. So, will Sarah Palin stay…or go? Her big speech at the RNC is tonight. Place your bets ladies and gentlemen!